nobody decides to walk in at this precise moment.
I walk out of the bathroom and towards the door leading outside. I can see Liv and Trina with their heads together, whispering, before noticing me and pulling apart. They give me two toothy wide smiles. I’m suspicious. I grew up with a meddling, gossiping mother, I know the signs.
"What are you guys up to?" I ask with narrowed eyes.
"Oh, nothing." Liv says brightly. "Ready to go? We got an appointment at the dress shop in ten minutes. It's only round the corner so we may as well walk there."
I nod my head and grab my brown satchel from the table, following behind who I suspect are two people masterminding my life this very second. My head is messed up enough without these two adding to it.
***
I’m gob smacked. Absolutely gob smacked. I've been friends with Liv for over two years so I’m well aware of how utterly beautiful she is. You'd have to be blind to not see it. The sight of her in her wedding gown was something else entirely though. Like an angel, which I’m sure everyone says on seeing someone in a wedding gown. This wasn’t just any wedding gown though, oh no. The bodice was covered in lace and pearls with a sweetheart neckline, the skirt flaring out giving it a Cinderella theme. The bridesmaid dresses were just as amazing, a mint green silk that gathered at the floor, also with a sweetheart neckline.
I knew Liv was a fashionista, the girl loves her clothes and always has the latest styles, but those dresses were just amazing. I’m totally jealous. And I can’t deny that while that statement should probably have a little laugh at the end, I’m deadly serious and it makes me feel like crap. I should be happy that my friend’s dreams are coming true, that she’s marrying her soulmate. If anyone deserves it - she does. As much as I was happy seeing her in the beautiful wedding dress, I couldn’t help the little bit of sorrow I felt as well. I buried it deep down though, the feeling burning through my body along with the shame and guilt for feeling it in the first place.
Is this the way it will always be? Am I forever going to be jealous of people’s happiness and love because I don’t have it myself? Probably, because let’s face it, I’m never gonna have it with anybody other than Brady and that thought depresses me to no end.
The only sound during the car ride back to Franklin has been the radio. It seems the radio is fully against me today. The first song to come on was Fergie's "Big girls don’t cry". If that wasn’t bad enough, it was swiftly followed by "All by myself" By Eric Carmen and my personal favorite that had both Liv and I groaning out loud "We are never getting back together", courtesy of Taylor Swift.
Right now, I’m tempted to throw myself out of the moving car just to avoid the torturous and frankly traitorous radio that is hell-bent on making this car journey as miserable as possible for me. I've now become a child, an actual eight-year-old who asks every five minutes "Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" I’m pretty sure considering the last time I asked I was answered with a growl from up front, the girls are ready to throw themselves out of the car as well.
"Mojito's round mine?" Liv asks, turning in the passenger seat to face me.
"Sure." I shrug and plaster a wide but completely fake smile on my face.
I don’t really know why she asked since we're like ten seconds from her house and mine is in the opposite direction. As we get nearer and nearer to the big white house I can see lights in every window. Someone’s obviously home. Trina pulls her yellow beetle to a stop outside the house. Noah’s famous Mustang sit’s in the driveway, a dark blue truck sitting behind it. It must be Liv's Dad's, though I’m pretty sure last time I saw him he was driving an SUV.
"It looks like your Dad's home Liv." I nod towards the truck.
She just hums her agreement and pulls her seatbelt off, opening
I walk out of the bathroom and towards the door leading outside. I can see Liv and Trina with their heads together, whispering, before noticing me and pulling apart. They give me two toothy wide smiles. I’m suspicious. I grew up with a meddling, gossiping mother, I know the signs.
"What are you guys up to?" I ask with narrowed eyes.
"Oh, nothing." Liv says brightly. "Ready to go? We got an appointment at the dress shop in ten minutes. It's only round the corner so we may as well walk there."
I nod my head and grab my brown satchel from the table, following behind who I suspect are two people masterminding my life this very second. My head is messed up enough without these two adding to it.
***
I’m gob smacked. Absolutely gob smacked. I've been friends with Liv for over two years so I’m well aware of how utterly beautiful she is. You'd have to be blind to not see it. The sight of her in her wedding gown was something else entirely though. Like an angel, which I’m sure everyone says on seeing someone in a wedding gown. This wasn’t just any wedding gown though, oh no. The bodice was covered in lace and pearls with a sweetheart neckline, the skirt flaring out giving it a Cinderella theme. The bridesmaid dresses were just as amazing, a mint green silk that gathered at the floor, also with a sweetheart neckline.
I knew Liv was a fashionista, the girl loves her clothes and always has the latest styles, but those dresses were just amazing. I’m totally jealous. And I can’t deny that while that statement should probably have a little laugh at the end, I’m deadly serious and it makes me feel like crap. I should be happy that my friend’s dreams are coming true, that she’s marrying her soulmate. If anyone deserves it - she does. As much as I was happy seeing her in the beautiful wedding dress, I couldn’t help the little bit of sorrow I felt as well. I buried it deep down though, the feeling burning through my body along with the shame and guilt for feeling it in the first place.
Is this the way it will always be? Am I forever going to be jealous of people’s happiness and love because I don’t have it myself? Probably, because let’s face it, I’m never gonna have it with anybody other than Brady and that thought depresses me to no end.
The only sound during the car ride back to Franklin has been the radio. It seems the radio is fully against me today. The first song to come on was Fergie's "Big girls don’t cry". If that wasn’t bad enough, it was swiftly followed by "All by myself" By Eric Carmen and my personal favorite that had both Liv and I groaning out loud "We are never getting back together", courtesy of Taylor Swift.
Right now, I’m tempted to throw myself out of the moving car just to avoid the torturous and frankly traitorous radio that is hell-bent on making this car journey as miserable as possible for me. I've now become a child, an actual eight-year-old who asks every five minutes "Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" I’m pretty sure considering the last time I asked I was answered with a growl from up front, the girls are ready to throw themselves out of the car as well.
"Mojito's round mine?" Liv asks, turning in the passenger seat to face me.
"Sure." I shrug and plaster a wide but completely fake smile on my face.
I don’t really know why she asked since we're like ten seconds from her house and mine is in the opposite direction. As we get nearer and nearer to the big white house I can see lights in every window. Someone’s obviously home. Trina pulls her yellow beetle to a stop outside the house. Noah’s famous Mustang sit’s in the driveway, a dark blue truck sitting behind it. It must be Liv's Dad's, though I’m pretty sure last time I saw him he was driving an SUV.
"It looks like your Dad's home Liv." I nod towards the truck.
She just hums her agreement and pulls her seatbelt off, opening
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