it. You’re going to be a father.”
The words hang in the air between us and I try to make sense out of them.
“I can’t be a father,” I whisper.
“Yeah, well I guess you should have thought about that before you decided to fuck me without a condom,” she hisses.
“Screw you!” I shoot back. “Maybe you shouldn’t have lied and said you were on birth control.”
“I was on birth control!” she spat. “I missed a pill.”
“Well whose fucking fault was that?”
“Fuck you, Leo! This is just as much your fault as mine! Do you think I want to be knocked up now? Do you think I want a baby when I’m starting my career?”
“Then get an abortion!”
“I’m not doing that! It’s not right! I’m a grown woman. If I’m going to have sex with people, then I’m taking on the responsibility of possibly becoming a parent.”
“Well, that’s your choice! That’s not mine! I don’t have sex with the understanding that I might become a parent!”
“Fuck you!” she yells into the phone.
I punch the End button, too angry to even speak. It’s probably a good thing that I’m outside, or else I really would have lost my shit. I pace back and forth for a few minutes, before I realize that I have to get back inside.
I try to act as normal as possible as I walk inside, and I make my way directly to the band. They can sense something is up but I just focus on our music. I can feel Carly’s eyes on me too, but I ignore her.
At the end of the night, Carly comes up to me and rests her hand on my arm.
“Is everything alright?”
I shrug her off. “It’s fine. Sorry. It’s just been a long day.”
She nods and lets me go.
I head home but I can’t sleep. I’m up most of the night, walking around my place, staring at the city and wondering what I’m going to do now. My parents would have a fucking field day with this. Leo screwing up again. But this was the ultimate fuck up.
Mark calls me around nine am and tells me to come down to his office. Sure enough, there in black and white, are the documents, which confirm that I am the father.
“What the fuck am I going to do?” I whisper, sinking down in the chair.
“You need to provide parental support. Either you and Skyler come up with a number that she agrees to, and you get papers drawn up. Or you go into family court and they’ll take care of it.”
Fuck. Family court? I do not want to deal with that shit.
“My advice?” Mark asks quietly. “Come up with a decent number. Something Skyler would be foolish to turn down. Offer her that. Hopefully she agrees and you can get the paperwork done quietly. You don’t want to take this to court.” He pauses. “And offer her a lump sum now too. Tell her it’s to help with any co-pay costs, furniture, clothing, etc. Kids are expensive. She might be more likely to agree to something if you also offer to help her a bit during the pregnancy.”
“Shit!”
I gather up the papers and head for the exit.
“Thanks Mark,” I say, still in shock. I had been feeling keyed up before, but now I’m bone tired. I know that Mark is right. I should offer Skyler a good figure for monthly support and offer to help her during the pregnancy. I know she would try to hit me up for money as soon as she starts decorating a nursery and planning. I don’t have the time or energy to even think of a fair number.
Once I’m back home, I draw all the blinds in the bedroom, plunging the room into darkness.
I crawl into bed and sleep the rest of the day.
I have fitful dreams, the most vivid one being of a little boy that looks like me, who keeps following me around on tour, calling me “daddy.”
I tell him to leave me alone, but he won’t stop. The last time I see the little boy, he’s in my dressing room, sitting on my mother’s lap.
I wake up, disoriented; glad it was only a dream. It’s almost time for rehearsal, so I get up and shower. I check my phone but there’s nothing from Carly. It’s probably best.
The words hang in the air between us and I try to make sense out of them.
“I can’t be a father,” I whisper.
“Yeah, well I guess you should have thought about that before you decided to fuck me without a condom,” she hisses.
“Screw you!” I shoot back. “Maybe you shouldn’t have lied and said you were on birth control.”
“I was on birth control!” she spat. “I missed a pill.”
“Well whose fucking fault was that?”
“Fuck you, Leo! This is just as much your fault as mine! Do you think I want to be knocked up now? Do you think I want a baby when I’m starting my career?”
“Then get an abortion!”
“I’m not doing that! It’s not right! I’m a grown woman. If I’m going to have sex with people, then I’m taking on the responsibility of possibly becoming a parent.”
“Well, that’s your choice! That’s not mine! I don’t have sex with the understanding that I might become a parent!”
“Fuck you!” she yells into the phone.
I punch the End button, too angry to even speak. It’s probably a good thing that I’m outside, or else I really would have lost my shit. I pace back and forth for a few minutes, before I realize that I have to get back inside.
I try to act as normal as possible as I walk inside, and I make my way directly to the band. They can sense something is up but I just focus on our music. I can feel Carly’s eyes on me too, but I ignore her.
At the end of the night, Carly comes up to me and rests her hand on my arm.
“Is everything alright?”
I shrug her off. “It’s fine. Sorry. It’s just been a long day.”
She nods and lets me go.
I head home but I can’t sleep. I’m up most of the night, walking around my place, staring at the city and wondering what I’m going to do now. My parents would have a fucking field day with this. Leo screwing up again. But this was the ultimate fuck up.
Mark calls me around nine am and tells me to come down to his office. Sure enough, there in black and white, are the documents, which confirm that I am the father.
“What the fuck am I going to do?” I whisper, sinking down in the chair.
“You need to provide parental support. Either you and Skyler come up with a number that she agrees to, and you get papers drawn up. Or you go into family court and they’ll take care of it.”
Fuck. Family court? I do not want to deal with that shit.
“My advice?” Mark asks quietly. “Come up with a decent number. Something Skyler would be foolish to turn down. Offer her that. Hopefully she agrees and you can get the paperwork done quietly. You don’t want to take this to court.” He pauses. “And offer her a lump sum now too. Tell her it’s to help with any co-pay costs, furniture, clothing, etc. Kids are expensive. She might be more likely to agree to something if you also offer to help her a bit during the pregnancy.”
“Shit!”
I gather up the papers and head for the exit.
“Thanks Mark,” I say, still in shock. I had been feeling keyed up before, but now I’m bone tired. I know that Mark is right. I should offer Skyler a good figure for monthly support and offer to help her during the pregnancy. I know she would try to hit me up for money as soon as she starts decorating a nursery and planning. I don’t have the time or energy to even think of a fair number.
Once I’m back home, I draw all the blinds in the bedroom, plunging the room into darkness.
I crawl into bed and sleep the rest of the day.
I have fitful dreams, the most vivid one being of a little boy that looks like me, who keeps following me around on tour, calling me “daddy.”
I tell him to leave me alone, but he won’t stop. The last time I see the little boy, he’s in my dressing room, sitting on my mother’s lap.
I wake up, disoriented; glad it was only a dream. It’s almost time for rehearsal, so I get up and shower. I check my phone but there’s nothing from Carly. It’s probably best.
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