For Nick by Taylor Dean Page A

the wheels in his head turning. Andie knew he wanted to sit with her, but it seemed he wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to do. He deliberately hadn’t touched her all morning. She knew he was distancing himself from her, now that the consummation had taken place. It was clear he was filled with indecision. They shared a long, steady look, their attention unwavering, yet uncertainty on both of their parts was obvious.
    She was about to say yes, but then realized that would be the wrong answer. That would mean ‘yes, I do mind if you sit with me.’ The correct answer would be no, meaning, ‘no, I don’t mind if you sit with me.’ But now that she was taking so long to answer, he was going to think she didn’t want him to sit by her at all, when really she did. Where was her brain today?
    “I…I don’t mind.” There. He can’t mistake her meaning now.
    “Are you sure?”
    Great. Another question. Knowledge of the English language temporarily left her. Why did he have to be such a gentleman? Especially when she knew very well what was under all that politeness…a smoldering fire just waiting to explode. She had trouble catching her breath as she said, “I’m sure.”
    His eyes seemed to flash and then he sat down next to her with his arm around her, his hand caressing her shoulder. They’d started something last night, something that had changed the nature of their relationship entirely. How were they supposed to move on and just be friends? How could they forget what happened between them last night? She didn’t know what to do. She wanted to cuddle up to him and hold him, but they weren’t supposed to do that, right? Instead she sat there stiffly, closing her eyes at the feel of the simple touch of his hand on her shoulder.
    “You’ve made me think about some things that I haven’t wanted to face, Andie,” Zach began slowly. His voice was soft, melodic. “It was when you said you wondered if you and your husband would still be together today due to issues you harbored. I’ve been thinking about that ever since, weighing it in my mind.” He looked into the distance. “When Emily died, we’d only been married for a year. We were still in the newlywed stage. I can see now that over the years I’ve idolized her into something she wasn’t. I loved her and we were happy, but I’ve come to realize with hindsight that we had some issues also. Issues that, had she lived, were about to blow-up in our faces. I wanted to have a family and she wanted it too, just not right away. She wanted to stay in her career for as long as possible before settling down. I wonder now if it ever would’ve happened. Over the years, I’ve never been able to admit that to myself…until now. Maybe we weren’t as perfect together as I’ve let myself believe.”
    Andie rested her head on his shoulder, unsure how to respond to his revelation.
    “You have no idea how free this realization makes me feel…free to move on with my life.”
    Zach shifted in his seat, turning so that her back rested against his stomach. Both of his arms wrapped around her. Adrenalin coursed through her body. She covered his arms with her own, feeling aware of the blood rushing through her veins, every touch of his hands making her skin shiver. She let herself relax in the cradle of his arms. Her head fell back until she could look up at him.
    “You loved her, Zach. I can see it in your eyes.”
    “I did. When someone dies unexpectedly, there’s so much guilt, so many things you wish you could’ve said, so many things you wish you would’ve done.”
    “I know.” She knew that all too well.
    The wind blew and picked up his hair as he continued to look down upon her, his eyes blazing. “You have the bluest eyes I’ve ever seen, Andie. They mesmerize me. I can hardly look away sometimes. I feel as if I can see your soul in them.”
    He moved closer and she knew he was going to kiss her. She could feel his hesitation, his indecision, the