as if you next breathe depended on him.”
“Oh my God!” She whispered.” Was I being that obvious? Please tell me I wasn’t that obvious.”
Sighing, James squeezed her shoulder.
“No darlin’. You are only obvious to me because I know you so well, but if anyone else bothered to look hard enough, they would see something was up. Do you want to talk about it?”
“Oh James, what am I going to do?” Her voice cracking slightly with repressed tears.” I was stupid enough to fall for him when I was eighteen; I think I have done it again. But this time it’s worse. There are no reasons for me to want or love him, he has been odious to me since we met again, but somehow, I can’t see myself with anyone else. I compared all my dates to him, since I was eighteen, and no one ever measured up. I don’t know what to do, he doesn’t like me, he used to despise me and I’m not sure he has stopped. I never thought I would be one of those girls looking for punishment you know. Never thought I’d fall for a guy that gives me nothing but grief, as arrogant as he is handsome. I thought I was smarter then that. But every time I look at him, I see him the way he was when I first met him, I see the softness in his eyes, and the hidden pain. I see the kind, gentle man, not the cold person he is today. I don’t want to love him, how do I stop?”
“You cant sweetie. You have to wait it out. You are a strong woman; you will live through it. If he can’t see you for who you are, if he can’t see how truly wonderful you are, if he prefers that blonde bimbo to you, then he is not worthy of you. I saw the way he was looking at you, and there was so much in that look. He is not indifferent to you, not by a long shot. Maybe, it is only attraction; maybe it’s more then that. Have you thought of doing something about the attraction bit? Remember Eva, love and hate are strangely close. If he didn’t care about you, he wouldn’t hate you so much.”
“Thanks James but I know nothing of seduction. Plus even if he wanted me, he doesn’t want to want me. He thinks the worst of me, he believes I cheat, play and use men in my everyday life. Seducing him would mean for him to discover that I am still…err well you know, and then he would know he was wrong about me, that I was none of those things. But I don’t want him to find out like that. I want him to like, trust and love me because he knows me, and that the things about me aren’t true because of the person I am, not because he was forced to reevaluate his beliefs because of the state my hymen is in. I also don’t want him to read too much into me giving him my innocence. I am not ready for that.”
Fortunately, at that moment someone required her help and she kept busy until the end of the evening. She had no choice but to put her worries in the back of her mind. She could always deal with everything later, much later.
Jake couldn’t help but notice how beautiful and natural Eva looked. When their eyes met, it had the effect of a punch in its stomach. His groin tightened, to his date’s pleasure he was sure. The heat he saw in her eyes equaled his, and he had to restrain himself from leaving Shelley on the dance floor and go kiss Eva until they both couldn’t breathe. He was about to let temptation get the best of him when he saw her friend, the man from the wedding the other day, massage her shoulder and whisper softly to her. He saw her shake her head, and the sorrow he saw on her face, although fleeting, was not missed by his intent scrutiny and it almost undid him. He felt a pang of jealousy, he should be the one with her, should be the one to try to make her smile, to massage her shoulders, to appease her worries. To…
“Jake darling, you aren’t very talkative tonight.” Shelley purred.” You seem to be paying a little too much attention to the buffet table.”
“Sorry Shelley, I am just a little distracted.”
“Oh? Distracted by what, or
“Oh my God!” She whispered.” Was I being that obvious? Please tell me I wasn’t that obvious.”
Sighing, James squeezed her shoulder.
“No darlin’. You are only obvious to me because I know you so well, but if anyone else bothered to look hard enough, they would see something was up. Do you want to talk about it?”
“Oh James, what am I going to do?” Her voice cracking slightly with repressed tears.” I was stupid enough to fall for him when I was eighteen; I think I have done it again. But this time it’s worse. There are no reasons for me to want or love him, he has been odious to me since we met again, but somehow, I can’t see myself with anyone else. I compared all my dates to him, since I was eighteen, and no one ever measured up. I don’t know what to do, he doesn’t like me, he used to despise me and I’m not sure he has stopped. I never thought I would be one of those girls looking for punishment you know. Never thought I’d fall for a guy that gives me nothing but grief, as arrogant as he is handsome. I thought I was smarter then that. But every time I look at him, I see him the way he was when I first met him, I see the softness in his eyes, and the hidden pain. I see the kind, gentle man, not the cold person he is today. I don’t want to love him, how do I stop?”
“You cant sweetie. You have to wait it out. You are a strong woman; you will live through it. If he can’t see you for who you are, if he can’t see how truly wonderful you are, if he prefers that blonde bimbo to you, then he is not worthy of you. I saw the way he was looking at you, and there was so much in that look. He is not indifferent to you, not by a long shot. Maybe, it is only attraction; maybe it’s more then that. Have you thought of doing something about the attraction bit? Remember Eva, love and hate are strangely close. If he didn’t care about you, he wouldn’t hate you so much.”
“Thanks James but I know nothing of seduction. Plus even if he wanted me, he doesn’t want to want me. He thinks the worst of me, he believes I cheat, play and use men in my everyday life. Seducing him would mean for him to discover that I am still…err well you know, and then he would know he was wrong about me, that I was none of those things. But I don’t want him to find out like that. I want him to like, trust and love me because he knows me, and that the things about me aren’t true because of the person I am, not because he was forced to reevaluate his beliefs because of the state my hymen is in. I also don’t want him to read too much into me giving him my innocence. I am not ready for that.”
Fortunately, at that moment someone required her help and she kept busy until the end of the evening. She had no choice but to put her worries in the back of her mind. She could always deal with everything later, much later.
Jake couldn’t help but notice how beautiful and natural Eva looked. When their eyes met, it had the effect of a punch in its stomach. His groin tightened, to his date’s pleasure he was sure. The heat he saw in her eyes equaled his, and he had to restrain himself from leaving Shelley on the dance floor and go kiss Eva until they both couldn’t breathe. He was about to let temptation get the best of him when he saw her friend, the man from the wedding the other day, massage her shoulder and whisper softly to her. He saw her shake her head, and the sorrow he saw on her face, although fleeting, was not missed by his intent scrutiny and it almost undid him. He felt a pang of jealousy, he should be the one with her, should be the one to try to make her smile, to massage her shoulders, to appease her worries. To…
“Jake darling, you aren’t very talkative tonight.” Shelley purred.” You seem to be paying a little too much attention to the buffet table.”
“Sorry Shelley, I am just a little distracted.”
“Oh? Distracted by what, or
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