laying here, the verdict still out on whether I was dead or alive, and all I could think about was him.
Maybe it had nothing to do with the voice; I just hadn’t separated the connection yet. It could very well be all the trauma of everything that had my body on edge.
Have fun with that. Even as you’re thinking the words, you’re still lingering on the thought of him.
I groaned. I hated when she was right.
The light was starting to hurt my eyes, and my head was pounding from all this over analyzing I was doing. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. It felt good to be able to expand my chest, but the cold air burned the inside of my nose so much it brought tears to my eyes. The smell that filled my senses made the pain entirely worth it. Subduing the sting along the way, the s c ent was so heavenly; I wanted to bottle it and to keep with me forever. I realized the smell was coming from the blanket I had been enfolded in, and I wondered how I had not noticed it before.
My reaction to this aroma should have seemed strange, but actually, after everything I have been through, this was probably the most normal. It attached, clinging and over powering every sensitive membrane it could find in my nose, until I couldn’t smell anything else. I instantly thought of him, and knew for a fact, that if he was real, he would have smelled exactly like this. I relished the thought, and pulled the blanket tighter around me. There were so many combined smells that I couldn’t quite figure out what they all were, and that frustrated me-
STOP THAT!! I screamed at myself.
I didn’t want to think about that anymore. I was free. At that realization, everything about my body felt heavier and I didn’t have the strength to lift my head and look around. I was determined to focus only on the situation at hand.
I wasn’t good at judging my situations lately: dreams, reality, illusions…death. I had felt myself drowning, but this didn’t feel like death. Just like everything else had, this felt too real. In my experience, if it felt real, it usually meant it probably is.
I had been laying down in the fetal position this entire time, and I started to feel stiff. I loosened the hold, on my shelter from the chilly wind, and had to pause long enough so I could stop the violent trembles that attacked me. Halfway to a sitting position, the wind blew sharply, plastering the blanket to the side of my face. Before I could stop myself I was breathing the scent in deeply. My eyes slid closed involuntarily, and I wanted to savor the smell, but just as quickly as they had closed my eyes snapped opened. I gritted my teeth, and balled my fingers into fist, until I could my fingernails painfully biting into my skin. I continued on as if nothing had happened.
I sat up slowly, pulling my knees up to my chest, wrapping the blanket tighter around myself. The light seemed to dull the more I got used to it, and I was able to open my eyes. They nearly popped out of my head as I took in my surroundings. I couldn’t be certain about the time of day, the dark clouds probably made it seem later then it was, but since the sun was still pretty high in the sky, I guessed it was probably a little after noon.
I was sitting in the center of a huge lake!
It was covered in frost, and loose powered snow that lifted and twirled as the wind blew, always settling it in a different place. At the outer edges around the entire lake, the ground was covered in layers of bright white snow that continued all the way into the forest of bare trees and up until the ground started to curve up the mountain. It was a huge mountain that was just off to the right of me. It was probably the fact that I was sitting, but it seemed to climb all the way to the sky.
There was nothing familiar about the land, and it didn’t seem to stir up any memories for me.
I seemed to be the only one out here…except for…
Do you hear that? I listened for it again.
Of course.
What is that?
The
Maybe it had nothing to do with the voice; I just hadn’t separated the connection yet. It could very well be all the trauma of everything that had my body on edge.
Have fun with that. Even as you’re thinking the words, you’re still lingering on the thought of him.
I groaned. I hated when she was right.
The light was starting to hurt my eyes, and my head was pounding from all this over analyzing I was doing. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. It felt good to be able to expand my chest, but the cold air burned the inside of my nose so much it brought tears to my eyes. The smell that filled my senses made the pain entirely worth it. Subduing the sting along the way, the s c ent was so heavenly; I wanted to bottle it and to keep with me forever. I realized the smell was coming from the blanket I had been enfolded in, and I wondered how I had not noticed it before.
My reaction to this aroma should have seemed strange, but actually, after everything I have been through, this was probably the most normal. It attached, clinging and over powering every sensitive membrane it could find in my nose, until I couldn’t smell anything else. I instantly thought of him, and knew for a fact, that if he was real, he would have smelled exactly like this. I relished the thought, and pulled the blanket tighter around me. There were so many combined smells that I couldn’t quite figure out what they all were, and that frustrated me-
STOP THAT!! I screamed at myself.
I didn’t want to think about that anymore. I was free. At that realization, everything about my body felt heavier and I didn’t have the strength to lift my head and look around. I was determined to focus only on the situation at hand.
I wasn’t good at judging my situations lately: dreams, reality, illusions…death. I had felt myself drowning, but this didn’t feel like death. Just like everything else had, this felt too real. In my experience, if it felt real, it usually meant it probably is.
I had been laying down in the fetal position this entire time, and I started to feel stiff. I loosened the hold, on my shelter from the chilly wind, and had to pause long enough so I could stop the violent trembles that attacked me. Halfway to a sitting position, the wind blew sharply, plastering the blanket to the side of my face. Before I could stop myself I was breathing the scent in deeply. My eyes slid closed involuntarily, and I wanted to savor the smell, but just as quickly as they had closed my eyes snapped opened. I gritted my teeth, and balled my fingers into fist, until I could my fingernails painfully biting into my skin. I continued on as if nothing had happened.
I sat up slowly, pulling my knees up to my chest, wrapping the blanket tighter around myself. The light seemed to dull the more I got used to it, and I was able to open my eyes. They nearly popped out of my head as I took in my surroundings. I couldn’t be certain about the time of day, the dark clouds probably made it seem later then it was, but since the sun was still pretty high in the sky, I guessed it was probably a little after noon.
I was sitting in the center of a huge lake!
It was covered in frost, and loose powered snow that lifted and twirled as the wind blew, always settling it in a different place. At the outer edges around the entire lake, the ground was covered in layers of bright white snow that continued all the way into the forest of bare trees and up until the ground started to curve up the mountain. It was a huge mountain that was just off to the right of me. It was probably the fact that I was sitting, but it seemed to climb all the way to the sky.
There was nothing familiar about the land, and it didn’t seem to stir up any memories for me.
I seemed to be the only one out here…except for…
Do you hear that? I listened for it again.
Of course.
What is that?
The
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