um," he says, and turns to rifle through the toolbox. He hands me a screwdriver. "Here."
"Thanks." I examine it as I would a fossil.
My dad grabs a wrench and sits down on his stool, peering at ... a motor? a rotor?...on his workbench. This seems to mellow him out. "So, Blake."
"Yeah?" I wait for him to point at whatever I'm supposed to screw.
"Your mom tells me it's time for the Talk."
"Whaâ"
"She says you and Shannon are getting very close."
Uh..."
My dad reaches forward and twists something with his wrench. He breathes deeply, going to his Zen place. "So I wanted to touch base with you about safe sex."
Ohhhhh.......
....... Noooooo!
"Your mother and I gave you the birds-and-bees talk a few years ago."
Something which scarred me for life, yes.
"But we didn't address the birth control issue, because, well, it wasn't appropriate at that point."
I stare down at the screwdriver, wishing it were a key to unlock a door to a parallel universe where I could go to escape this conversation.
"Dad, Shannon and I aren'tâ"
"Let me finish," he says.
But he doesn't. He takes a big breath and says nothing. Poor
guy. He would be perfectly comfortable describing a severed spine or something.
"No means no!" he bursts out. "You understand that, right? Your mom wanted to make sure we talked about that. Never force a girl to do anything. Okay?" Now he's staring hard at me, and I nod.
"Don't even try to
persuade,
okay, Blake? No gray areas! Got me?" He looks like he's about to pop a vein, and I nod in alarm. "Okay," he continues. "Sorry, but that needs to be crystal clear. And you'll know when it's right. Shannon, or whoever ...
someday
... will know, too."
I open my mouth to protest, but I close it again. Maybe if I stay quiet, this will be over faster.
"Sexuality is a powerful force. Maybe the most powerful urge we have as humans." He keeps looking at me, and I want to curl up into a ball of embarrassment. But also? I'm fascinated. He's saying stuff that I was thinking
just last night.
"The thing about being human, though," my dad goes on, "is we have the ability to reason. We can choose to do the right thing, even when we don't want to."
Uhn? Does he mean that having sex with Shannon is wrong? Or
forcing
Shannon to have sex would be wrong? Which ...
duh!
My dad studies his motor thingie and applies his wrench to it again. This seems to help him focus. "Anyway," he says, "I know you'll do the right thing. Just wanted to be clear on that. How
ever.
When you do decide the time is right, I want you to be prepared. I'll show you where we keep the box of condoms in a minute. I had this talk with your brother a couple of years ago."
Where we keep the box of condoms?
My head almost spins off my body. So does Garrett just shuffle in and grab a condom whenever he needs one, and my parents can tell when some are missing?
"In fact," says my dad, forging ahead, "in a perfect world, your girlfriend would be on some form of birth control, too. So you're protected from pregnancy
and
disease. Both of you."
"Dad." I so seriously cannot take any more of this. "Thanks. Really. But you don't have to worry. Shannon and I are not, um, ready."
A look of pure relief washes over his face. "Good! I'm glad to hear it. You're both very young. But even if it's not relevant now, it's important to get this stuff out in the open. And you can always talk to your mom and me. You know that, right?"
I nod. I look down at the screwdriver in my hand. I set it down on the workbench. "Can I go now?"
"Sure." He claps a hand on my shoulder, then pulls me close in a hug. "You're a good guy, Blake. I'm proud of you."
"Thanks," I say into his shoulder. We break apart, and I head for the door to the house.
"Hey," he calls.
No no no no no.
"Yeah?"
My dad opens a cabinet above his workbench. "The condoms are in here, bud."
"'Kay, bye."
In fact..."
WHAT?!
"Take one to go, why don'tcha?" He takes one out of the box and tosses it to me.
CHAPTER
"Thanks." I examine it as I would a fossil.
My dad grabs a wrench and sits down on his stool, peering at ... a motor? a rotor?...on his workbench. This seems to mellow him out. "So, Blake."
"Yeah?" I wait for him to point at whatever I'm supposed to screw.
"Your mom tells me it's time for the Talk."
"Whaâ"
"She says you and Shannon are getting very close."
Uh..."
My dad reaches forward and twists something with his wrench. He breathes deeply, going to his Zen place. "So I wanted to touch base with you about safe sex."
Ohhhhh.......
....... Noooooo!
"Your mother and I gave you the birds-and-bees talk a few years ago."
Something which scarred me for life, yes.
"But we didn't address the birth control issue, because, well, it wasn't appropriate at that point."
I stare down at the screwdriver, wishing it were a key to unlock a door to a parallel universe where I could go to escape this conversation.
"Dad, Shannon and I aren'tâ"
"Let me finish," he says.
But he doesn't. He takes a big breath and says nothing. Poor
guy. He would be perfectly comfortable describing a severed spine or something.
"No means no!" he bursts out. "You understand that, right? Your mom wanted to make sure we talked about that. Never force a girl to do anything. Okay?" Now he's staring hard at me, and I nod.
"Don't even try to
persuade,
okay, Blake? No gray areas! Got me?" He looks like he's about to pop a vein, and I nod in alarm. "Okay," he continues. "Sorry, but that needs to be crystal clear. And you'll know when it's right. Shannon, or whoever ...
someday
... will know, too."
I open my mouth to protest, but I close it again. Maybe if I stay quiet, this will be over faster.
"Sexuality is a powerful force. Maybe the most powerful urge we have as humans." He keeps looking at me, and I want to curl up into a ball of embarrassment. But also? I'm fascinated. He's saying stuff that I was thinking
just last night.
"The thing about being human, though," my dad goes on, "is we have the ability to reason. We can choose to do the right thing, even when we don't want to."
Uhn? Does he mean that having sex with Shannon is wrong? Or
forcing
Shannon to have sex would be wrong? Which ...
duh!
My dad studies his motor thingie and applies his wrench to it again. This seems to help him focus. "Anyway," he says, "I know you'll do the right thing. Just wanted to be clear on that. How
ever.
When you do decide the time is right, I want you to be prepared. I'll show you where we keep the box of condoms in a minute. I had this talk with your brother a couple of years ago."
Where we keep the box of condoms?
My head almost spins off my body. So does Garrett just shuffle in and grab a condom whenever he needs one, and my parents can tell when some are missing?
"In fact," says my dad, forging ahead, "in a perfect world, your girlfriend would be on some form of birth control, too. So you're protected from pregnancy
and
disease. Both of you."
"Dad." I so seriously cannot take any more of this. "Thanks. Really. But you don't have to worry. Shannon and I are not, um, ready."
A look of pure relief washes over his face. "Good! I'm glad to hear it. You're both very young. But even if it's not relevant now, it's important to get this stuff out in the open. And you can always talk to your mom and me. You know that, right?"
I nod. I look down at the screwdriver in my hand. I set it down on the workbench. "Can I go now?"
"Sure." He claps a hand on my shoulder, then pulls me close in a hug. "You're a good guy, Blake. I'm proud of you."
"Thanks," I say into his shoulder. We break apart, and I head for the door to the house.
"Hey," he calls.
No no no no no.
"Yeah?"
My dad opens a cabinet above his workbench. "The condoms are in here, bud."
"'Kay, bye."
In fact..."
WHAT?!
"Take one to go, why don'tcha?" He takes one out of the box and tosses it to me.
CHAPTER
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