I have one,” Jo said, once the giggling subsided.
“Never have I ever killed a man,” Maddie said solemnly, making a stabbing motion with her left hand.
“
No
,” Jo rolled her eyes. “I was going to say never have I ever skinny-dipped.” They all looked around at each other, but no one turned a finger down.
“Well now I know what we’re doing after the bonfire!” Emma laughed.
“I almost did once, but the lake water—ick,” Skylar said, grimacing.
“You did that
here
?” Jo asked, raising an eyebrow.
“I just said I didn’t do it!” Skylar cried.
“Who with?” Emma asked.
Skylar hesitated. “A bunch of people,” she finally said. “But like I said, I didn’t, so . . .” She looked hopefully at Maddie. “Got one?”
“I feel bad for Miss Johannah Jazz Hands over there, so this one’s for her,” Maddie said. “Never have I ever worn a whistle as a necklace!”
Jo gamely turned a pointer down and they all cheered. “I don’t want your pity,” she said with a smile.
They flew through a dozen more—never had they ever smoked a cigarette (Skylar); kissed a girl (Skylar, Emma—but only for a school skit about LGBT rights, did that count?); had a beer (all of them—where had their innocence gone?). But when it came back around to Maddie on the last round, she decided to tell them what had really been going on with her—well, at least some of it.
“Never have I ever been in love,” she said, turning her pointer finger down. She looked around the circle. Emma bit her lip and seemed to consider it for a minute before keeping her six remaining fingers extended. Skylar looked down at the floor and shook her head. She was out of fingers, anyway. Jo’s hands didn’t so much as twitch.
“Charlie?” Jo asked, nodding at Maddie’s hands. She nodded and started to talk.
She told them about meeting him, and falling in love with him, and sleeping with him. And then she told them about how she hadn’t heard from Charlie the day after the Holiday Inn. Or the day after that. But she’d assumed that he, too, was processing what had just happened, and maybe even setting up some over-the-top romantic date to show her how grateful he was. In fact, when she’d noticed the e-mail from Christina, titled “Charlie,” her first thought had been that they were plotting something together. (
Like what
, her present-day self added witheringly,
a Congratulations on Giving It Up surprise party at the IHOP?
) Right off the bat, the e-mail should have been a red flag. In all their years of friendship, Maddie and Christina had always used their phones.
Maddie had read the e-mail so many times, she knew it by heart and recited it to the girls from memory. It wasn’t planned, Christina had written. Charlie had been desperate; he thought Maddie was going to break up with him. He’d needed advice. They’d driven around talking and parked by the creek. He’d had a six pack in the trunk. They’d gotten a little tipsy. One thing had led to another . . .
“I did the math,” she explained. “It happened ten days
before
the prom. Which means that when Charlie threatened to leave me, it wasn’t because he couldn’t wait for me. It was because he
hadn’t
waited.”
“Oh, Maddie,” Emma said, her eyes wide and sad.
“No faces!” Maddie insisted. “It’s my after-school special and I’ll cry if I want to, but the truth is I don’t regret all of it.” She looked down at her hands. “Not
this
finger anyway. The other one, maybe.”
“I’m so sorry,” Jo frowned. “I wish you’d told me. I would have been there.”
“We all would have,” Skylar added quickly.
Maddie nodded. “I thought about it,” she said. “But honestly, I didn’t want to talk to anyone then. It was kind of a dark time. I just stayed home cuddling with my cat, Mr. Snitches, and composing scathing monologues about trust and betrayal.” Skylar looked pained.
“Did you ever get to deliver one?” Emma
“Never have I ever killed a man,” Maddie said solemnly, making a stabbing motion with her left hand.
“
No
,” Jo rolled her eyes. “I was going to say never have I ever skinny-dipped.” They all looked around at each other, but no one turned a finger down.
“Well now I know what we’re doing after the bonfire!” Emma laughed.
“I almost did once, but the lake water—ick,” Skylar said, grimacing.
“You did that
here
?” Jo asked, raising an eyebrow.
“I just said I didn’t do it!” Skylar cried.
“Who with?” Emma asked.
Skylar hesitated. “A bunch of people,” she finally said. “But like I said, I didn’t, so . . .” She looked hopefully at Maddie. “Got one?”
“I feel bad for Miss Johannah Jazz Hands over there, so this one’s for her,” Maddie said. “Never have I ever worn a whistle as a necklace!”
Jo gamely turned a pointer down and they all cheered. “I don’t want your pity,” she said with a smile.
They flew through a dozen more—never had they ever smoked a cigarette (Skylar); kissed a girl (Skylar, Emma—but only for a school skit about LGBT rights, did that count?); had a beer (all of them—where had their innocence gone?). But when it came back around to Maddie on the last round, she decided to tell them what had really been going on with her—well, at least some of it.
“Never have I ever been in love,” she said, turning her pointer finger down. She looked around the circle. Emma bit her lip and seemed to consider it for a minute before keeping her six remaining fingers extended. Skylar looked down at the floor and shook her head. She was out of fingers, anyway. Jo’s hands didn’t so much as twitch.
“Charlie?” Jo asked, nodding at Maddie’s hands. She nodded and started to talk.
She told them about meeting him, and falling in love with him, and sleeping with him. And then she told them about how she hadn’t heard from Charlie the day after the Holiday Inn. Or the day after that. But she’d assumed that he, too, was processing what had just happened, and maybe even setting up some over-the-top romantic date to show her how grateful he was. In fact, when she’d noticed the e-mail from Christina, titled “Charlie,” her first thought had been that they were plotting something together. (
Like what
, her present-day self added witheringly,
a Congratulations on Giving It Up surprise party at the IHOP?
) Right off the bat, the e-mail should have been a red flag. In all their years of friendship, Maddie and Christina had always used their phones.
Maddie had read the e-mail so many times, she knew it by heart and recited it to the girls from memory. It wasn’t planned, Christina had written. Charlie had been desperate; he thought Maddie was going to break up with him. He’d needed advice. They’d driven around talking and parked by the creek. He’d had a six pack in the trunk. They’d gotten a little tipsy. One thing had led to another . . .
“I did the math,” she explained. “It happened ten days
before
the prom. Which means that when Charlie threatened to leave me, it wasn’t because he couldn’t wait for me. It was because he
hadn’t
waited.”
“Oh, Maddie,” Emma said, her eyes wide and sad.
“No faces!” Maddie insisted. “It’s my after-school special and I’ll cry if I want to, but the truth is I don’t regret all of it.” She looked down at her hands. “Not
this
finger anyway. The other one, maybe.”
“I’m so sorry,” Jo frowned. “I wish you’d told me. I would have been there.”
“We all would have,” Skylar added quickly.
Maddie nodded. “I thought about it,” she said. “But honestly, I didn’t want to talk to anyone then. It was kind of a dark time. I just stayed home cuddling with my cat, Mr. Snitches, and composing scathing monologues about trust and betrayal.” Skylar looked pained.
“Did you ever get to deliver one?” Emma
Similar Books
