Fire and Shadows (Ashes and Ice #2) by Rochelle Maya Callen Page A

don’t love...”
    “ Okay, who is this person that you don’t love because you quote unquote choose not to love? Is she matched with someone else?”
    “ I told you she doesn’t look at me with love anymore. She has someone else.”
    I take that in. “So, she once loved you.”
    Giovanni shifted uncomfortably. “Yes, yes. There was a time, a very short time, where she loved me.”
    “ What happened?”
    “ I don’t want to talk about this anymore. You can ask about Heaven, but my personal life is irrelevant to your understanding.”
    “ I’m sorry. I was just curious.”
    “ You are too curious.”
    I looked at him. He was brooding again, a huffing, boiling mess. But there was a fall to his shoulders that pained me. “Maybe I am.”
    I sat back and watched him. “Giovanni... I know we aren’t close, or even friends. But, if you don’t want me to pry into your life, I won’t. However, if you ever want to tell me about it, I would listen. I would love to listen.”
    “ We’ll see, Jade. We’ll see,” he said, pressing his palm forward toward the flame. There was a shimmer, and within the span of a breath, the fire snuffed out, leaving nothing but dancing grey smoke. If I could see Giovanni’s aura, would I bet he would blend in with the fire pit’s emptiness.
    We had less than an hour before we would start walking again, so I laid back and dreamed of those that I loved... those lost and beautiful things that I hoped would be waiting for me at the end of all this. Most of all, I dreamt of Connor holding me here in the dark. The time was too short, because when Giovanni woke me to start moving, I didn’t want to let go of my dreams or him. At least, I had woken up smiling.

 
     
     
    27
    CONNOR
     
     
     
     
     
    I lay down on the creaking wood floor. The house swayed a bit, too old even to stand still. I held my breath as Nanan lit the candles around me. “Will this hurt?” I asked.
    She sighed and lit the last candle. “Yes, my boy. And it’ll never stop hurting.”
    I clenched my teeth, still determined.
    “Ya still want to try this?”
    “ Yes.”
    Nanan ’s voice rose in a language I couldn’t understand. She raised her hands to the air and rocked back and forth. The house rocked, and swayed and bucked under me. I could feel the whip and howl of the wind even as the candle flame burned brighter and brighter until the whole room was an orangey- yellow and Nanan was no longer in sight. Did she get swallowed up by the flames? I couldn’t think about that. Because just as the thought trickled into my mind, excruciating pain stabbed through me. The pain was too much, as if the world had placed magnets on my sides and they were ripping away from each other. I was being torn in two. I shook as I flung my head back. Nanan’s voice was a whisper above my screams. The incantation wrapped around me. I tried to picture Jade’s face. Why was I doing this? Jade. She needed to be taken care of. I needed to know where she was. I felt tar—something black and sticky and all-consuming seep into me. I flailed away. I wanted to scream something is wrong! But Nanan’s voice rose to soothe me. “That’s Jade, Connor. She is attaching herself to your soul.” My eyes were practically bulging from their sockets. I shook my head. No, this black coiling thing could not be Jade. It couldn’t! Nanan’s voice cooed. “That’s Jade, my boy. She is darkness and light. You’ll sense your girl soon.”
    And she was right, just as I thought I would suffocate on the blackness chewing away my insides, a sunburst of light punched through and I felt something else settle inside me. It was calm and confident ; it was heartbroken and real. It was vulnerable and strong. It was Jade. I knew it was... even as my body couldn’t stop convulsing. I felt a sense of peace tremble through me, finding its place to rest. My body’s spasms started to quiet as the flames dimmed and the howling wind died down. It was just me,