and fall.
“That wasn’t fair,” she murmured at last.
His arms tightened around her, and Alex didn’t pretend to misunderstand. “No, I guess not. But you’ve been slipping out of my bed like a nervous schoolgirl for two months, and I couldn’t take it anymore.”
She raised her head and looked down at him gravely. “You never said anything.”
“Would it have done any good?” And when she remained silent, he nodded. “Yeah, I thought so.”
“Amelia—” she began, but Alex was shaking his head.
“Don’t kid yourself, Josie. You don’t creep back to your own room in the middle of the night because you’re worried about what Amelia might say. You do it because in your mind you’ve put this affair of ours into a nice, neat, safe little category. It’s sex. Just sex.”
She frowned. “Isn’t that what you want?”
He gazed up at her for a moment, a little smile playing around his mouth. Then he said, “Sure. But having sex makes us lovers, sweet, and lovers sometimes sleep together—all night—in the same bed. I want that too. But you don’t have to worry. It won’t make us married. It won’t even make us in love. So you don’t have to give up Jeremy.”
Josie moved off him jerkily and yanked the covers up to hide her nakedness. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yes, you do.” He raised up on an elbow, his handsome face a little mocking. “If it’s just sex between us, then it’s no threat to your memories of Jeremy. If you slip back into your own bed in the night, the bed you’ve turned into your marriage bed and keep sacrosanct even though he never slept in it with you, then you haven’t really been unfaithful to him.”
“He’s dead,” Josie said shakily.
“Yeah, but you haven’t buried him. You haven’t let go of him.” Alex smiled slightly, seemingly a little amused. “Oh, don’t look so horrified, Josie. It doesn’t bother me. If you want to wear your widow’s weeds for the next forty years like Amelia and keep Jeremy’s ageless picture on your dresser to smile at every night, that’s your business. Hell, it might even be just the way he’d want you to live out the rest of your life. But since he’d have a bit of trouble performing his husbandly duties as things stand now, I doubt he’d begrudge us an hour spent together here and there. Or even a night. Who else would he expect to see to his widow’s needs, after all? I am his cousin.”
With a choked sound, Josie flung back the covers and scrambled from the bed. She didn’t look back at Alex, but was highly aware of his silent attention as she found her clothes scattered on the floor and dressed hastily.
“You said you’d stay all night,” he reminded her coolly.
She threw him a single incredulous look and fled from his bedroom as if something with teeth and claws pursued her. She was automatically quiet as she hurried down the dimly lit hallway, carrying her shoes, and didn’t realize she was actually holding her breath until she was inside her own bedroom and leaning back against the door. Then her breath escaped raggedly, catching at the end in a dry little sob.
She felt a little sick, and more than a little shaken. Alex had never before been cruel to her, never. He had never taunted her about Jeremy, and he’d certainly never uttered anything like his mocking words of tonight. So why had he tonight? Why had he said things he must have known would upset her terribly? It was so unlike him.…
Growing gradually more thoughtful and less shaken, Josie undressed again and went into her bathroom to take a shower. Her movements were automatic, her thoughts wholly occupied with Alex. Finally, as she was drying her hair, she toyed with the idea that he had said what he had because he had
not
wanted her to spend the night in his bed—whatever he said. Was that possible? He had asked her numerous times to spend the night in his bed, but he’d never protested when she had
“That wasn’t fair,” she murmured at last.
His arms tightened around her, and Alex didn’t pretend to misunderstand. “No, I guess not. But you’ve been slipping out of my bed like a nervous schoolgirl for two months, and I couldn’t take it anymore.”
She raised her head and looked down at him gravely. “You never said anything.”
“Would it have done any good?” And when she remained silent, he nodded. “Yeah, I thought so.”
“Amelia—” she began, but Alex was shaking his head.
“Don’t kid yourself, Josie. You don’t creep back to your own room in the middle of the night because you’re worried about what Amelia might say. You do it because in your mind you’ve put this affair of ours into a nice, neat, safe little category. It’s sex. Just sex.”
She frowned. “Isn’t that what you want?”
He gazed up at her for a moment, a little smile playing around his mouth. Then he said, “Sure. But having sex makes us lovers, sweet, and lovers sometimes sleep together—all night—in the same bed. I want that too. But you don’t have to worry. It won’t make us married. It won’t even make us in love. So you don’t have to give up Jeremy.”
Josie moved off him jerkily and yanked the covers up to hide her nakedness. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yes, you do.” He raised up on an elbow, his handsome face a little mocking. “If it’s just sex between us, then it’s no threat to your memories of Jeremy. If you slip back into your own bed in the night, the bed you’ve turned into your marriage bed and keep sacrosanct even though he never slept in it with you, then you haven’t really been unfaithful to him.”
“He’s dead,” Josie said shakily.
“Yeah, but you haven’t buried him. You haven’t let go of him.” Alex smiled slightly, seemingly a little amused. “Oh, don’t look so horrified, Josie. It doesn’t bother me. If you want to wear your widow’s weeds for the next forty years like Amelia and keep Jeremy’s ageless picture on your dresser to smile at every night, that’s your business. Hell, it might even be just the way he’d want you to live out the rest of your life. But since he’d have a bit of trouble performing his husbandly duties as things stand now, I doubt he’d begrudge us an hour spent together here and there. Or even a night. Who else would he expect to see to his widow’s needs, after all? I am his cousin.”
With a choked sound, Josie flung back the covers and scrambled from the bed. She didn’t look back at Alex, but was highly aware of his silent attention as she found her clothes scattered on the floor and dressed hastily.
“You said you’d stay all night,” he reminded her coolly.
She threw him a single incredulous look and fled from his bedroom as if something with teeth and claws pursued her. She was automatically quiet as she hurried down the dimly lit hallway, carrying her shoes, and didn’t realize she was actually holding her breath until she was inside her own bedroom and leaning back against the door. Then her breath escaped raggedly, catching at the end in a dry little sob.
She felt a little sick, and more than a little shaken. Alex had never before been cruel to her, never. He had never taunted her about Jeremy, and he’d certainly never uttered anything like his mocking words of tonight. So why had he tonight? Why had he said things he must have known would upset her terribly? It was so unlike him.…
Growing gradually more thoughtful and less shaken, Josie undressed again and went into her bathroom to take a shower. Her movements were automatic, her thoughts wholly occupied with Alex. Finally, as she was drying her hair, she toyed with the idea that he had said what he had because he had
not
wanted her to spend the night in his bed—whatever he said. Was that possible? He had asked her numerous times to spend the night in his bed, but he’d never protested when she had
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