players. But because the dogfighting world is so underground, so low-key, I was able to stay beneath the radar.
After the raid of the house on Moonlight Road where dogfighting evidence was found, I said publicly, âIâm never at the house,â when in reality I went there regularly, including most Tuesdays during the football season. Three days after police raided my house in Smithfield, I met with NFL commissioner Roger Goodell. I assured him of my innocence and was permitted to participate in a ceremony at the April 28, 2007, NFL draft with other former Virginia Tech players Bruce Smith and DeAngelo Hall, to memorialize students who had recently been killed in a shooting spree on the Blacksburg campus.
I really like Commissioner Goodell. Heâs a very humble, fair, firm, and stern man who cares about you. He wants to see the right things for the integrity of the NFL and the integrity of the football family. If you cross the guidelines of the conduct policy, he wants to know what the absolute truth is.
I knew how to lie with a straight face. Sad to say, Commissioner Goodell bought into what I was saying, and I think he truly believed me that I was telling the truth. I deeply regret not telling him the truth from the outset.
It was a very nervous time for me. I knew I was going to try to lie my way through the whole dogfighting case and see if money, good lawyers, and manipulating the system could get me out of the position I was inâwhich was a terrible position. Temporarily, I received a reprieve from the commissioner, but it would be short-lived.
Falcons owner Arthur Blank, and my coach at the time, Bobby Petrino, also believed me and trusted in me. If you had told Mr.Blank I was fighting dogs, he probably wouldâve told you to get out of his face. He trusted me. So did a lot of people who had no idea I was living a lie.
Commissioner Goodell, Mr. Blank, and Coach Petrino were the three key components to my future and my career. They all had trust in me.
Looking back, I can see that my propensity for trying to lie my way out of trouble only made my consequences more severe. I got used to not being honest in a lot of situations. I got away with it for so long that I started to get into a routine and feel like, Hey, if it worked last time, it will work again .
Iâve figured out since then that if you just tell the truth, itâs so much easier to deal with the consequences in the beginning than if you lie and someone else reveals the truth. When that happens, people look at you like, I canât trust him. Heâs not honest. Heâs not loyal. Heâs not forthright, and I canât believe him moving forward. It screws up everything. Just deal with the consequences. Be a man and deal with it.
Telling the truth is freeing. I found that when I lied, I put pressure on myself. Maintaining the lie was hard work because I had to pile one new lie on top of another. The truth is the truth, and thatâs it. In the long run, you will benefit from telling the truth even if it comes with consequences.
As the investigation deepened, my lawyer told me, âIf you were involved, you need to tell me you were involved.â Thatâs when itwas on the state, rather than the federal, level. I kept telling him, âNo, no, I wasnât involved, no.â The whole time investigators were building the case, my lawyer was saying no, but he was seeing all this evidence saying yes. If I had just told the truth, maybe I would have received a smack on the wrist instead of a lengthy sentence.
If there had never been an indictment, I might have gotten out unscathed, and the full truth might never have been revealed. But when all the lies were exposed, it was tough. When the Feds got involved, they found all the evidence they needed. They had all the components to basically put me in jail, even without me saying anything.
When they indicted me, we all knew I was wrong. Fittingly, the nation
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