I’ll never see you again.
I had no strength even to pray. But the voice of vengeance inside me did. The voice begged God that he’d lead the police to the Explorer. That they’d discover my hair and the fingerprint. And that they would know Shaley O’Connor had once been there.
28
R ayne sat on a couch in the great room, holding hands with Gary on her right and Brittany on her left. Ross, Carly and the two other backup singers, Ed Schering, and the band members had shoved furniture together to form a circle.
For an eternity they waited for Al’s phone to ring. When it finally did, Rayne dropped Brittany’s and Gary’s hands and pressed both fists to her chest.
Al turned away and answered the call.
In the seconds that followed, Rayne imagined herself rising from her chair and floating away. This body she was in—the jagging nerves and runaway heart—it wasn’t hers. For the millionth time since Shaley’s kidnapping, Rayne told herself none of this was real. It just. Couldn’t. Be.
“Okay,” Al said. Was that disappointment in his voice? Rayne peered at him, waiting for some sign. A thumbs-up. A smile.
Nothing.
“Let me inform the family, then I’ll get back to you.” Al snapped off his phone and faced Rayne.
Her pulse stopped.
“When they entered the cabin, Fledger and Shaley were gone.”
A bright sword pierced Rayne’s head. Her lungs deflated as if all air had been sucked from the room. No. Not after all this waiting. All this time. Wasted.
Gray amorphous dots crowded into her vision. Rayne’s stomach turned over. Her body slowly pitched forward toward the floor.
Strong arms caught her. Rayne’s head lulled to the side.
The world faded to black.
29
L ong after Joshua had peeled out of the parking lot in our maroon sedan, I finally cried myself out. My wrists burned from the rope, and my head swam from lying down so long. My despair subsided, leaving me once again to think about how I could save myself.
As for Joshua—he had to be tired. He’d been up all night. The man had to sleep sometime. But when he did, no doubt he’d tie me up so tight I wouldn’t be able to move at all.
I had to get on his good side.
It was my only choice. Somehow I had to pretend I was bonding with him. Had to make him think I’d never try to escape again. Then I’d wait for his guard to drop.
Meanwhile I’d leave as many clues behind as possible.
Little by little I gathered courage until—on spur of the moment—I sat up in the backseat. I was taking a huge risk in disobeying. But I just couldn’t lie there forever.
“Hey,” Joshua growled at me. “Get back down.”
“I can’t. Really. I have to go to the bathroom.”
Surely he had to go too. From the middle of the backseat, I peered at what I could see of his profile. He was sweating, and his fat jowls seemed to droop more than ever. If he drove much longer, he just might crash and kill us both.
“I’ll stop soon enough.” Even Joshua’s voice dragged. “Gonna have to get gas.”
My gaze snagged on something on the floor by Joshua’s feet. I leaned forward and tilted my head.
His gun.
Would he shoot me in the back if I tried to run?
Through the front windshield, I saw a divided highway—a much bigger road than many we’d taken. Farmland to our right and left. A sign said Highway 20. Was that in Utah?
“Where’s the closest gas station?”
“There’s a town a few miles up. We’ll stop there.”
I met his eyes through the rearview mirror. They were bloodshot. “You need to sleep.”
“Yeah, tell me about it. Thanks to you. ”
My chin dipped, and I looked at my lap. “I’m sorry.”
Joshua snorted.
“I am. Do you think I’m happy to have this rope cutting into my wrists? It really hurts. And I don’t want you mad at me.”
“You should have thought about that before you picked up the phone.”
“I know.”
Silence. My bladder was so full my back throbbed. Each mile was an eternity.
“Joshua.” I hated
I had no strength even to pray. But the voice of vengeance inside me did. The voice begged God that he’d lead the police to the Explorer. That they’d discover my hair and the fingerprint. And that they would know Shaley O’Connor had once been there.
28
R ayne sat on a couch in the great room, holding hands with Gary on her right and Brittany on her left. Ross, Carly and the two other backup singers, Ed Schering, and the band members had shoved furniture together to form a circle.
For an eternity they waited for Al’s phone to ring. When it finally did, Rayne dropped Brittany’s and Gary’s hands and pressed both fists to her chest.
Al turned away and answered the call.
In the seconds that followed, Rayne imagined herself rising from her chair and floating away. This body she was in—the jagging nerves and runaway heart—it wasn’t hers. For the millionth time since Shaley’s kidnapping, Rayne told herself none of this was real. It just. Couldn’t. Be.
“Okay,” Al said. Was that disappointment in his voice? Rayne peered at him, waiting for some sign. A thumbs-up. A smile.
Nothing.
“Let me inform the family, then I’ll get back to you.” Al snapped off his phone and faced Rayne.
Her pulse stopped.
“When they entered the cabin, Fledger and Shaley were gone.”
A bright sword pierced Rayne’s head. Her lungs deflated as if all air had been sucked from the room. No. Not after all this waiting. All this time. Wasted.
Gray amorphous dots crowded into her vision. Rayne’s stomach turned over. Her body slowly pitched forward toward the floor.
Strong arms caught her. Rayne’s head lulled to the side.
The world faded to black.
29
L ong after Joshua had peeled out of the parking lot in our maroon sedan, I finally cried myself out. My wrists burned from the rope, and my head swam from lying down so long. My despair subsided, leaving me once again to think about how I could save myself.
As for Joshua—he had to be tired. He’d been up all night. The man had to sleep sometime. But when he did, no doubt he’d tie me up so tight I wouldn’t be able to move at all.
I had to get on his good side.
It was my only choice. Somehow I had to pretend I was bonding with him. Had to make him think I’d never try to escape again. Then I’d wait for his guard to drop.
Meanwhile I’d leave as many clues behind as possible.
Little by little I gathered courage until—on spur of the moment—I sat up in the backseat. I was taking a huge risk in disobeying. But I just couldn’t lie there forever.
“Hey,” Joshua growled at me. “Get back down.”
“I can’t. Really. I have to go to the bathroom.”
Surely he had to go too. From the middle of the backseat, I peered at what I could see of his profile. He was sweating, and his fat jowls seemed to droop more than ever. If he drove much longer, he just might crash and kill us both.
“I’ll stop soon enough.” Even Joshua’s voice dragged. “Gonna have to get gas.”
My gaze snagged on something on the floor by Joshua’s feet. I leaned forward and tilted my head.
His gun.
Would he shoot me in the back if I tried to run?
Through the front windshield, I saw a divided highway—a much bigger road than many we’d taken. Farmland to our right and left. A sign said Highway 20. Was that in Utah?
“Where’s the closest gas station?”
“There’s a town a few miles up. We’ll stop there.”
I met his eyes through the rearview mirror. They were bloodshot. “You need to sleep.”
“Yeah, tell me about it. Thanks to you. ”
My chin dipped, and I looked at my lap. “I’m sorry.”
Joshua snorted.
“I am. Do you think I’m happy to have this rope cutting into my wrists? It really hurts. And I don’t want you mad at me.”
“You should have thought about that before you picked up the phone.”
“I know.”
Silence. My bladder was so full my back throbbed. Each mile was an eternity.
“Joshua.” I hated
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