nearby table sneeze.
The clown was Ludwig, sitting alone at his table and staring at his thumbs as if he’d had too much to drink. One of the fish said something to him, and he shot to his feet.
Theo cracked open the window so he could hear.
“You hellacious halibut,” Ludwig said, pointing his finger. “No one in this bar has the right to insult me.”
One of the fish looked nervous. “You should stop drinking, buddy.”
Ludwig swiped his sippy cup off the table and downed it. “I love apple juice, and you aren’t going to stop me from drinking it. I dare any of you rapscallions to challenge me in an insult duel. I’ll give my left arm to anyone who can beat me!”
“Who cares about your left arm?”
“I’ll have you know that it’s quite valuable,” Ludwig said, unattaching it from the joint. “It contains the key to something important.”
When no one responded, he slapped one of the halibuts with his arm. “You’re all too scared, eh?”
Theo focused on the arm; its fingers were big—almost the same size as the fingerprint shapes on the security panel at the jail.
I get it now.
He climbed into the tavern through the window. “I’ll challenge you.”
Ludwig whipped around. “Finally.”
“What are the rules?” Theo asked.
Ludwig eyed Theo. “I’ve never seen you before.”
“I’m just passing through—Praise Stratus!—and I couldn’t resist your challenge.”
“You really want to play?”
Theo nodded.
“Very well. Let the game begin!”
One of the halibuts whispered to Theo. “You have to sling the worst insult. The big baby at the front of the bar will be the judge. Good luck.”
The bar went silent, and a giant baby doll in a diaper sitting on the tap clapped his hands and giggled.
Ludwig stepped forward and surveyed Theo. “I’ve been looking at you for the last two minutes, and you’re despicable to my sight, you fur-bedazzled lump bucket!”
“What the heck did you just call me?”
“A fur-bedazzled lump bucket!” Ludwig said, enunciating every syllable.
The bar oohed and aahed.
“That was the worst insult I’ve ever heard.”
One of the halibuts nudged Theo. “Retort. Hit him hard with an insult!”
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“Fizzle-tiddle son of a gypsy, eh?” the halibut asked. “Not good. Baby’s mom is a gypsy.”
The big baby frowned.
Crap.
Ludwig took a swig of apple juice and burped. “If I’m the son of a gypsy, you’re a stumpy gloopy gravy boat!”
Laughter filled the bar, and everyone looked at Theo for a response.
Theo balled his fists. “Well, um . . .”
SORRY!
You didn’t make a selection. Go back to the previous page. Otherwise, you may get lost.
SORRY!
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“Disjointed arm-wielding crony, eh?” the halibut asked. “Not bad, but I don’t think Baby liked it.”
The big baby grabbed Theo by the neck, stomped over to the door, and tossed him out of the tavern.
“And stay out!” Ludwig said as the baby slammed the door.
“Ouch,” Theo said, sitting up.
So much for stealing the key.
SORRY!
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“Disjointed apple juice addict, eh?” the halibut asked. “That’s pretty accurate, I’d say.”
The big baby laughed so hard that he fell off the bar.
“We have a winner!” the halibut yelled, holding up Theo’s hand.
“I want a rematch,” Ludwig said, stomping up and down.
“Give me your arm,” Theo said.
“Keep dreaming, teddy!”
“I said give me your arm.”
Ludwig laughed, and Theo ripped his arm off and hit him over the head with it.
“Thanks.”
Ludwig tried to get up, but the big baby stomped over and sat on him.
“Baby doesn’t like you,” the halibut said.
Ludwig struggled under the baby and then
The clown was Ludwig, sitting alone at his table and staring at his thumbs as if he’d had too much to drink. One of the fish said something to him, and he shot to his feet.
Theo cracked open the window so he could hear.
“You hellacious halibut,” Ludwig said, pointing his finger. “No one in this bar has the right to insult me.”
One of the fish looked nervous. “You should stop drinking, buddy.”
Ludwig swiped his sippy cup off the table and downed it. “I love apple juice, and you aren’t going to stop me from drinking it. I dare any of you rapscallions to challenge me in an insult duel. I’ll give my left arm to anyone who can beat me!”
“Who cares about your left arm?”
“I’ll have you know that it’s quite valuable,” Ludwig said, unattaching it from the joint. “It contains the key to something important.”
When no one responded, he slapped one of the halibuts with his arm. “You’re all too scared, eh?”
Theo focused on the arm; its fingers were big—almost the same size as the fingerprint shapes on the security panel at the jail.
I get it now.
He climbed into the tavern through the window. “I’ll challenge you.”
Ludwig whipped around. “Finally.”
“What are the rules?” Theo asked.
Ludwig eyed Theo. “I’ve never seen you before.”
“I’m just passing through—Praise Stratus!—and I couldn’t resist your challenge.”
“You really want to play?”
Theo nodded.
“Very well. Let the game begin!”
One of the halibuts whispered to Theo. “You have to sling the worst insult. The big baby at the front of the bar will be the judge. Good luck.”
The bar went silent, and a giant baby doll in a diaper sitting on the tap clapped his hands and giggled.
Ludwig stepped forward and surveyed Theo. “I’ve been looking at you for the last two minutes, and you’re despicable to my sight, you fur-bedazzled lump bucket!”
“What the heck did you just call me?”
“A fur-bedazzled lump bucket!” Ludwig said, enunciating every syllable.
The bar oohed and aahed.
“That was the worst insult I’ve ever heard.”
One of the halibuts nudged Theo. “Retort. Hit him hard with an insult!”
SORRY!
You didn’t make a selection. Go back to the previous page. Otherwise, you may get lost.
“Fizzle-tiddle son of a gypsy, eh?” the halibut asked. “Not good. Baby’s mom is a gypsy.”
The big baby frowned.
Crap.
Ludwig took a swig of apple juice and burped. “If I’m the son of a gypsy, you’re a stumpy gloopy gravy boat!”
Laughter filled the bar, and everyone looked at Theo for a response.
Theo balled his fists. “Well, um . . .”
SORRY!
You didn’t make a selection. Go back to the previous page. Otherwise, you may get lost.
SORRY!
You didn’t make a selection. Go back to the previous page. Otherwise, you may get lost.
“Disjointed arm-wielding crony, eh?” the halibut asked. “Not bad, but I don’t think Baby liked it.”
The big baby grabbed Theo by the neck, stomped over to the door, and tossed him out of the tavern.
“And stay out!” Ludwig said as the baby slammed the door.
“Ouch,” Theo said, sitting up.
So much for stealing the key.
SORRY!
You didn’t make a selection. Go back to the previous page. Otherwise, you may get lost.
“Disjointed apple juice addict, eh?” the halibut asked. “That’s pretty accurate, I’d say.”
The big baby laughed so hard that he fell off the bar.
“We have a winner!” the halibut yelled, holding up Theo’s hand.
“I want a rematch,” Ludwig said, stomping up and down.
“Give me your arm,” Theo said.
“Keep dreaming, teddy!”
“I said give me your arm.”
Ludwig laughed, and Theo ripped his arm off and hit him over the head with it.
“Thanks.”
Ludwig tried to get up, but the big baby stomped over and sat on him.
“Baby doesn’t like you,” the halibut said.
Ludwig struggled under the baby and then
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