up band and orchestra in the
public schools mean I miss out on the entire string section.” She
ran her hand through her limp but abundant chestnut brown hair. “I
used to play violin.”
“What happened?”
Lana shrugged. “Job… kids…”
“Oh, you have other kids?”
Lana picked up her phone, taking care not to
do any more circus tricks with it since she was still a little
giggly and nervous around Mel. She showed her the home screen with
Robin and Nick wearing reindeer antlers on their heads hugging in
front of the Christmas tree. “He’s at his dad’s place while I’m
here.”
“That picture is adorable ,” said Mel.
“Wow. Isn’t that basically everybody’s dream Christmas
card?”
“Right? I could sell it and put all the
money toward Robin’s college.”
“They should offer her real money,
though.”
“You think?”
“Okay, okay!” Maestro Lopez clapped his
hands, ready to begin the rehearsal again.
Lana settled back into her seat, flushed and
over-aware of herself. “Hey,” Mel whispered with a hand on her
shoulder. “I’m going to go over to the junior orchestra. Nice to
finally talk to you!”
“Mm-hmm!” Lana smiled and watched her
go.
Okay, now what?
Not for the first time, she felt a pang of
resentful anger at the conservative culture in which she’d been
raised, for leaving her no better prepared to flirt with women than
a teenager was. When she and Steve got married, they “knew” they
were doing the Right Thing, except it turned out it was all kinds
of the Wrong Thing. Decades later, carried on the waves of the
burgeoning gay rights movement they managed to free themselves, but
now what?
Steve seemed to be getting along just fine.
He was a lawyer and he already had a nice little clique of gay
lawyers and realtors and a couple of small business owners.
Meanwhile, Lana didn’t even know where to start.
In the beginning, she thought she did, but
cycling through memories of the past few months proved
otherwise.
The lesbian meetups at the indie coffee
house—sure, there was relief at not being the only one in the room,
but she didn’t really have anything else in common with the women
who showed up.
The book club seemed like a great idea until
she got too swamped with band mom stuff to read on time and
chickened out of going back.
And the political group, campaigning for
equal rights legislation, was really fulfilling because it was much
easier to get to know strangers if you had a prearranged topic of
conversation, but it turned out to be a great place to make friends
with couples, widows, and energetic youngsters barely older than
Robin. Not a potential girlfriend.
Fortunately, a dead Italian composer named
Ottorino Rhespighi was all too ready to shake her out of her
fretting. As the orchestra grew louder and the sound of the brass
engulfed the room, she imagined the Roman army he’d been trying to
evoke stomping on her worries as they marched.
***
“Okay, we start with the Debussy when we get
back here tonight! Have a good dinner!”
The conductor dismissed the
eleventh- and twelfth-grade orchestra, and Lana was soon tackled by
a hug ’round the waist. “This is so fun!” Robin exclaimed.
“Everyone’s so good .”
“Did your friends have any plans for dinner?
I can take everyone to Steak and Shake if you want.”
“I dunno yet,” said Robin, looking around
and taking out her phone. “Lemme see if Blanca’s group is done
yet.”
“What about Alexis?”
“She’s still…” Robin drew closer and
continued in the tiniest voice possible. “She’s trying to get Tyler
to invite her.”
Lana grinned, spying Robin’s friend talking
to the second chair cello that Mel had bragged about. “Want me to
play matchmaker? Go over there and invite them both.”
Robin’s eyes widened. “That’s… almost
brilliant.”
“I’ll wait for you out in the hallway.” Lana
gathered her things and pushed open the door to leave
public schools mean I miss out on the entire string section.” She
ran her hand through her limp but abundant chestnut brown hair. “I
used to play violin.”
“What happened?”
Lana shrugged. “Job… kids…”
“Oh, you have other kids?”
Lana picked up her phone, taking care not to
do any more circus tricks with it since she was still a little
giggly and nervous around Mel. She showed her the home screen with
Robin and Nick wearing reindeer antlers on their heads hugging in
front of the Christmas tree. “He’s at his dad’s place while I’m
here.”
“That picture is adorable ,” said Mel.
“Wow. Isn’t that basically everybody’s dream Christmas
card?”
“Right? I could sell it and put all the
money toward Robin’s college.”
“They should offer her real money,
though.”
“You think?”
“Okay, okay!” Maestro Lopez clapped his
hands, ready to begin the rehearsal again.
Lana settled back into her seat, flushed and
over-aware of herself. “Hey,” Mel whispered with a hand on her
shoulder. “I’m going to go over to the junior orchestra. Nice to
finally talk to you!”
“Mm-hmm!” Lana smiled and watched her
go.
Okay, now what?
Not for the first time, she felt a pang of
resentful anger at the conservative culture in which she’d been
raised, for leaving her no better prepared to flirt with women than
a teenager was. When she and Steve got married, they “knew” they
were doing the Right Thing, except it turned out it was all kinds
of the Wrong Thing. Decades later, carried on the waves of the
burgeoning gay rights movement they managed to free themselves, but
now what?
Steve seemed to be getting along just fine.
He was a lawyer and he already had a nice little clique of gay
lawyers and realtors and a couple of small business owners.
Meanwhile, Lana didn’t even know where to start.
In the beginning, she thought she did, but
cycling through memories of the past few months proved
otherwise.
The lesbian meetups at the indie coffee
house—sure, there was relief at not being the only one in the room,
but she didn’t really have anything else in common with the women
who showed up.
The book club seemed like a great idea until
she got too swamped with band mom stuff to read on time and
chickened out of going back.
And the political group, campaigning for
equal rights legislation, was really fulfilling because it was much
easier to get to know strangers if you had a prearranged topic of
conversation, but it turned out to be a great place to make friends
with couples, widows, and energetic youngsters barely older than
Robin. Not a potential girlfriend.
Fortunately, a dead Italian composer named
Ottorino Rhespighi was all too ready to shake her out of her
fretting. As the orchestra grew louder and the sound of the brass
engulfed the room, she imagined the Roman army he’d been trying to
evoke stomping on her worries as they marched.
***
“Okay, we start with the Debussy when we get
back here tonight! Have a good dinner!”
The conductor dismissed the
eleventh- and twelfth-grade orchestra, and Lana was soon tackled by
a hug ’round the waist. “This is so fun!” Robin exclaimed.
“Everyone’s so good .”
“Did your friends have any plans for dinner?
I can take everyone to Steak and Shake if you want.”
“I dunno yet,” said Robin, looking around
and taking out her phone. “Lemme see if Blanca’s group is done
yet.”
“What about Alexis?”
“She’s still…” Robin drew closer and
continued in the tiniest voice possible. “She’s trying to get Tyler
to invite her.”
Lana grinned, spying Robin’s friend talking
to the second chair cello that Mel had bragged about. “Want me to
play matchmaker? Go over there and invite them both.”
Robin’s eyes widened. “That’s… almost
brilliant.”
“I’ll wait for you out in the hallway.” Lana
gathered her things and pushed open the door to leave
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