Fantastical Ramblings by Irene Radford Page B

three.”
    “Or six,” Jenks muttered. “You know if I dust the books
maybe he’ll haul away a few stacks, give us some more room.”
    “Over my dead body!” I puffed myself up and loosed another
blast of fire. The knight was attacking the door with a fresh barrage of
boulders anyway, maybe if I singed him through the cracks a little, he’d think
twice.
    “He’ll make your body dead if you aren’t careful.” Jenks
threw a handful or two of pixie dust over the remains of my last six meals.
    “More, Jenks. That’s not enough dust to fool anyone.”
    “All I can do, Your Gluttonness. Can’t fly, thanks to you
singing my wing, so I can’t properly dust anything.”
    “Maybe if you throw it in his face...”
    “You willing to hold me high enough, and close enough to
reach his face?” The cocky gnat stood, hands on hips, feet spread in an
aggressive stance.
    “I don’t... If I have to.” My knees began to tremble and I
dropped to all fours rather than fall flat on my face.
    Did I mention that besides being an erudite slob I am also a
coward?
    “That’s better,” Jenks said. “You’re thinking, rather than
just reacting and depending upon your size and strength to win this fight.”
    Yeah, right .
    He began climbing my body as he would a mountain. “If you
rolled onto your side, I could make better headway on your scales. Not fight
gravity.”
    Whatever . I obeyed
his command and he slithered and hitched himself up, scale by scale, shaking
loose a few itchy mites along the way.
    Meanwhile, the knight made headway on the door with
boulders, nearly as large as myself, banging into it every few minutes. Before
Jenks reached my muzzle so I could stand up again, the door crashed to the
floor.
    “Yeep!” I squeaked and scrambled for a more dignified pose.
    “All right, Lea, hand them over!” shouted a scrawny man
crouching behind a shield made of translucent dragon scales. He brandished a
rusty sword that belonged in a museum. His token armor consisted of motorcycle
leathers and a helmet—not very stylish or well-fitting leathers at that. They
bagged at his shoulders and butt. He’d had to roll up the pant legs and sleeve
cuffs to accommodate their bulk and length to his underdeveloped frame.
    Jenks swung from one of my neck fronds as if it were a
playground toy. “Hey!” he chortled. “It’s a girl.”
    I dipped my head to peer more closely at my invader. The
shield was perfectly transparent to my vision. I also hoped to find a way around
that shield. Flames were of no use against dragon scales.
    If I stalled long enough maybe she’d drop it. It must have
weighed a ton and covered the entire length of her body.
    “Hand what over?” I boomed, hoping the noise and
reverberation would cover the frightened quaver in my voice.
    “Your library books. They’re one hundred years overdue. The
fines alone are worth a king’s ransom.”
    “Yeep!” I gulped. “Library books?”
    “You heard me. Hand them over.”
    “Look around, girlie, you find ’em, you can have ’em,” Jenks
challenged her.
    She poked her pert nose around the edge of her shield. Her
eyes went wide, causing a pair of thick spectacles to slide down her miniature
snoz, stopping just short of dropping to the ground.
    “By Midas, the great god of hoarders!” She tried reaching
for a pile of books, discovered both hands occupied by sword and shield.
    I could almost see the wheels turning in her head. How to
choose between the treasure of books and defense of her body? While she
thought, I tried to come up with a strategy to get rid of her. But if she left
here alive she’d tell the world that not only did I not have a great treasure
of diamonds and gold, but she’d broadcast to the world and my family what a
lousy housekeeper I was, even with a pixie to help dust occasionally.
    The librarian/knight finally opted to sheath her rusty old
sword and keep her shield between herself and the smoke dribbling out of my
muzzle. Rapidly and