whole thing.
“What brings you here?” He asks. “Bored with your present company?”
“No.” I shake my head. “But I did want to see how you’re doing, and to thank you for coming back for me. I know I don’t deserve your help after ditching you like that to go find Grayson, but thanks anyway.” This close, I can’t help wanting to reach out to touch Jack’s bandaged shoulder. It’s probably not something he’d want, though. Not when it would only hurt more.
Jack shrugs. “You don’t have to thank me, Celes. It’s my job.”
“Your job.”
“Nothing more, nothing less.”
I bite my lip. I wasn’t expecting that. Not after all the time we’ve spent together. I really thought… I don’t know what I thought.
“But-”
Jack cuts me off. “Celes, I came back for you because I had to. You’re too valuable to the Underground to let go, and sooner or later, no matter how good you are at hiding, the Others would find you. You need protection from The Underground.”
I can hardly believe that. It’s such a cold reason. “And that’s the only reason you came back for me?”
Jack draws in a breath, but he nods.
That hurts. That hurts almost worse than all the rest of it put together. “So all those weeks of pretending to be my boyfriend… You really didn’t feel anything? It was just an act?”
Jack shrugs, but the movement isn’t as casual as it should be. “What did you expect? That was the mission, Celes. I’m sorry if you thought it was more.”
I shake my head. “No, I don’t believe it. What about the kisses, the soft touches, the moments when we were all alone?”
“What can I say?” Jack says it coldly. “I’m a good actor.”
I have to struggle not to cry then. “It was really just an act? Jack, please don’t do this.”
Jack looks away. “It was really just an act.”
“Then you should win an Oscar.” I can’t keep the bitterness out of my voice. “You had me fooled.”
I turn to walk away and go back to Grayson. This would all have been so much simpler if I had just stayed next to him in the first place. Then I feel Jack’s hand on my arm. He turns me back to face him.
“Celes.” It’s barely more than a whisper.
“What?”
Jack takes another breath before folding me in his arms. He kisses the top of my head chastely, gently, before moving his lips down to my ear.
“I don’t want anything to happen to you,” he whispers, “but you have to know this. I can’t afford to get involved. When we get to the Underground, they may give you a new cover. If they do, I’ll be reassigned. You’ll get a new Fader. One who can keep you safe.”
“But what happened today wasn’t your fault!” I protest. After all, that’s why they’d have to change things, isn’t it?
Jack shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter,” He says. “I’m responsible for you, and you almost got killed on my watch. Grayson almost got killed.”
Despite everything Jack has said, I feel terrible. “I’m so sorry,” I say. “I didn’t mean…”
“I know,” Jack says. He’s silent for several seconds. When he does speak, there’s something else in his voice. “Celes, I asked you to trust me, I told you that I would protect you with my life.”
“Jack, I…”
Jack kisses me then, giving the lie to everything he has said about not caring. It’s a brief kiss, but there’s real passion in it. It isn’t pretend. It can’t be.
“I made you that promise,” Jack says as he pulls back, “and I’ll keep it. I’ll protect you, no matter what happens. I’ll protect you even if I’m reassigned. Even if I’m ordered not to.”
“What do you mean?” I ask, stunned by this sudden change of tack.
Jack grins an almost boyish grin. “I mean that you aren’t going to get rid of me that easily, Celes.”
FIFTEEN
W hen the jet finally lands, on an airfield so similar to the first it’s hard to tell if we’ve gone anywhere at all,
“What brings you here?” He asks. “Bored with your present company?”
“No.” I shake my head. “But I did want to see how you’re doing, and to thank you for coming back for me. I know I don’t deserve your help after ditching you like that to go find Grayson, but thanks anyway.” This close, I can’t help wanting to reach out to touch Jack’s bandaged shoulder. It’s probably not something he’d want, though. Not when it would only hurt more.
Jack shrugs. “You don’t have to thank me, Celes. It’s my job.”
“Your job.”
“Nothing more, nothing less.”
I bite my lip. I wasn’t expecting that. Not after all the time we’ve spent together. I really thought… I don’t know what I thought.
“But-”
Jack cuts me off. “Celes, I came back for you because I had to. You’re too valuable to the Underground to let go, and sooner or later, no matter how good you are at hiding, the Others would find you. You need protection from The Underground.”
I can hardly believe that. It’s such a cold reason. “And that’s the only reason you came back for me?”
Jack draws in a breath, but he nods.
That hurts. That hurts almost worse than all the rest of it put together. “So all those weeks of pretending to be my boyfriend… You really didn’t feel anything? It was just an act?”
Jack shrugs, but the movement isn’t as casual as it should be. “What did you expect? That was the mission, Celes. I’m sorry if you thought it was more.”
I shake my head. “No, I don’t believe it. What about the kisses, the soft touches, the moments when we were all alone?”
“What can I say?” Jack says it coldly. “I’m a good actor.”
I have to struggle not to cry then. “It was really just an act? Jack, please don’t do this.”
Jack looks away. “It was really just an act.”
“Then you should win an Oscar.” I can’t keep the bitterness out of my voice. “You had me fooled.”
I turn to walk away and go back to Grayson. This would all have been so much simpler if I had just stayed next to him in the first place. Then I feel Jack’s hand on my arm. He turns me back to face him.
“Celes.” It’s barely more than a whisper.
“What?”
Jack takes another breath before folding me in his arms. He kisses the top of my head chastely, gently, before moving his lips down to my ear.
“I don’t want anything to happen to you,” he whispers, “but you have to know this. I can’t afford to get involved. When we get to the Underground, they may give you a new cover. If they do, I’ll be reassigned. You’ll get a new Fader. One who can keep you safe.”
“But what happened today wasn’t your fault!” I protest. After all, that’s why they’d have to change things, isn’t it?
Jack shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter,” He says. “I’m responsible for you, and you almost got killed on my watch. Grayson almost got killed.”
Despite everything Jack has said, I feel terrible. “I’m so sorry,” I say. “I didn’t mean…”
“I know,” Jack says. He’s silent for several seconds. When he does speak, there’s something else in his voice. “Celes, I asked you to trust me, I told you that I would protect you with my life.”
“Jack, I…”
Jack kisses me then, giving the lie to everything he has said about not caring. It’s a brief kiss, but there’s real passion in it. It isn’t pretend. It can’t be.
“I made you that promise,” Jack says as he pulls back, “and I’ll keep it. I’ll protect you, no matter what happens. I’ll protect you even if I’m reassigned. Even if I’m ordered not to.”
“What do you mean?” I ask, stunned by this sudden change of tack.
Jack grins an almost boyish grin. “I mean that you aren’t going to get rid of me that easily, Celes.”
FIFTEEN
W hen the jet finally lands, on an airfield so similar to the first it’s hard to tell if we’ve gone anywhere at all,
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