her screen, with a picture of a smiling mailbox. She stopped herself from flinging her phone across her desk at the last moment, knowing that it would probably result in the end of her friendship with Mags. Can I take two break-ups in one day? She asked herself bitterly.
Andrew’s new text blinked on her screen, but it took her a while to build up the nerve to answer it.
You’ll learn plenty if you see me.
Cecelia’s head spun. Another message, because she hadn’t replied, blinked up on her screen, and she opened it numbly.
I have a whole lesson plan.
Would you teach me ? she asked.
You know that I would like nothing more. If you’re an apt student.
I try to be diligen t , she answered, her bowl of ice cream, her reservations, and her desire to play hard to get long forgotten.
I’ll pick you up at eight.
At 7:59, Andrew was standing in front of Cecelia’s door, and at 7:10, they arrived in his apartment, though this time they didn’t kiss their way through the door, and the lights were not dimmed. Cecelia walked to the center of what had been arranged to be the loft’s living room, and turned in a small circle to face Andrew, taking in her surroundings as she went.
When she had been here for dinner, she’d been much to anxious to fully get to know her surroundings, and now she was feeling nervousness of a different kind. The area she now stood in contained two mismatched sofas, two large reclining chairs, and a coffee table littered with books and chess pieces. As usual, the apartment was flooded with light from the enormous windows, and Cecelia had to resist the urge to run to look at the pedestrians below.
“No Devon?” she asked.
“At Alexandra’s,” he answered, and rather than drawing closer, he took a seat on one of the couches. “They have what I believe is called an ‘on and off again’ relationship.”
“Which explains Mags,” Cecelia said, nervousness making her stomach flip. Devon wasn’t here last night either, and last night …. “Doesn’t he like Alexandra, though?”
Andrew was gazing at her distractedly, his eyes scanning her from head to toe and back again as if taking stock. Cecelia, suddenly self-conscious, decided that she would like to sit as well, and sat on the second couch to his right, smoothing her dress over her knees. Is he proving a point? Cecelia wondered. About his ability to restrain himself? Because right now I want nothing more than … she stopped, knowing that if her train of thought continued she would begin to blush, imagining his skin against hers.
“He does like her. Very much. They’ve been dating for six months, now? But commitment doesn’t come easily to us. Usually, there’ s so much loss – of ourselves, who we used to be, of others – necessitated by infection, of course. By the time that we are at a stable and sufficiently capable state, it’s difficult to be willing to trust and love.” He frowned, and belatedly added: “I suppose.” He then quickly looked away from Cecelia and out at the darkened street, at the yellowed windows across the way.
There it is again , Cecelia mused, remembering the restaurant and his far-off gaze.
“Do you trust me?” Cecelia asked. It seemed like the safest question to ask, given all the others that were still burning behind her lips – questions about him and his past, to be extrapolated to the existence of all vampires. And that nagging thought at the back of her mind that an interview with Andrew would make her career.
Andrew blinked , though he did not look at her. “People, all people, have a tendency to consider trust as a binary choice of yes or no, when it exists on a spectrum of experience. Like sex.”
If it hadn’t been so eloquently worded, Cecelia would have thought his answer was a brush-off. As it was, she was inclin ed to believe it was a brush-off nonetheless, merely an elegant
Andrew’s new text blinked on her screen, but it took her a while to build up the nerve to answer it.
You’ll learn plenty if you see me.
Cecelia’s head spun. Another message, because she hadn’t replied, blinked up on her screen, and she opened it numbly.
I have a whole lesson plan.
Would you teach me ? she asked.
You know that I would like nothing more. If you’re an apt student.
I try to be diligen t , she answered, her bowl of ice cream, her reservations, and her desire to play hard to get long forgotten.
I’ll pick you up at eight.
At 7:59, Andrew was standing in front of Cecelia’s door, and at 7:10, they arrived in his apartment, though this time they didn’t kiss their way through the door, and the lights were not dimmed. Cecelia walked to the center of what had been arranged to be the loft’s living room, and turned in a small circle to face Andrew, taking in her surroundings as she went.
When she had been here for dinner, she’d been much to anxious to fully get to know her surroundings, and now she was feeling nervousness of a different kind. The area she now stood in contained two mismatched sofas, two large reclining chairs, and a coffee table littered with books and chess pieces. As usual, the apartment was flooded with light from the enormous windows, and Cecelia had to resist the urge to run to look at the pedestrians below.
“No Devon?” she asked.
“At Alexandra’s,” he answered, and rather than drawing closer, he took a seat on one of the couches. “They have what I believe is called an ‘on and off again’ relationship.”
“Which explains Mags,” Cecelia said, nervousness making her stomach flip. Devon wasn’t here last night either, and last night …. “Doesn’t he like Alexandra, though?”
Andrew was gazing at her distractedly, his eyes scanning her from head to toe and back again as if taking stock. Cecelia, suddenly self-conscious, decided that she would like to sit as well, and sat on the second couch to his right, smoothing her dress over her knees. Is he proving a point? Cecelia wondered. About his ability to restrain himself? Because right now I want nothing more than … she stopped, knowing that if her train of thought continued she would begin to blush, imagining his skin against hers.
“He does like her. Very much. They’ve been dating for six months, now? But commitment doesn’t come easily to us. Usually, there’ s so much loss – of ourselves, who we used to be, of others – necessitated by infection, of course. By the time that we are at a stable and sufficiently capable state, it’s difficult to be willing to trust and love.” He frowned, and belatedly added: “I suppose.” He then quickly looked away from Cecelia and out at the darkened street, at the yellowed windows across the way.
There it is again , Cecelia mused, remembering the restaurant and his far-off gaze.
“Do you trust me?” Cecelia asked. It seemed like the safest question to ask, given all the others that were still burning behind her lips – questions about him and his past, to be extrapolated to the existence of all vampires. And that nagging thought at the back of her mind that an interview with Andrew would make her career.
Andrew blinked , though he did not look at her. “People, all people, have a tendency to consider trust as a binary choice of yes or no, when it exists on a spectrum of experience. Like sex.”
If it hadn’t been so eloquently worded, Cecelia would have thought his answer was a brush-off. As it was, she was inclin ed to believe it was a brush-off nonetheless, merely an elegant
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