Excalibur by Colin Thompson Page B

became the secret eyes and ears, bringing secrets from all around Camelot to the young princess, secrets that she stored away in her memory, secrets that were there to use whenever she needed them.
    Fenestra’s friends and relations were Morgan le Fey’s friends too and watched over her wellbeing day and night. Now that Sir Lancelot had come into her life, they watched over her day and night and knight.
    There were two hundred and fifty-eight vampires living at Camelot and every night they spread out across the countryside looking for warm ankles. Only Lucestays and the baby vampires stayed behind. The baby vampires were still being fed by their mothers so they didn’t need fresh blood. However, to make sure they knew what to do when they were old enough to go out and feed, each baby was left with a big red tomato to practise biting on.

 
    Fissure flew out over the lake until he was out of sight of the runaways. He looked down over the islands, without really paying much attention.
    Excalibur , he thought, boring .
    Then he swung round, making sure he couldn’t be seen, and flew back to Morgan le Fey and Lancelot.
    â€˜They’re looking for Excalibur,’ he said.
    â€˜Who isn’t?’ said Sir Lancelot.
    â€˜Indeed, my lord,’ said Morgan le Fey. ‘People have searched for the Sword of the True King for hundreds of years.’
    â€˜Are you sure?’ said the vampire.
    â€˜Absolutely,’ said Morgan le Fey. ‘Why do you ask?’
    â€˜Well, all you had to do was ask us vampires. We all know where it is. Always have. For all the good it will do you,’ said the vampire.
    â€˜Why do you say that?’ said Sir Lancelot.
    â€˜Well, I know of at least eighty-three people who have tried to pull it out of the rock and I’ve no doubt there are dozens more, but no one has moved it as much as a hair’s width.’
    â€˜That is because it is the Sword of the True King,’ said Morgan le Fey. ‘Only he can pull it from the stone.’
    â€˜Your father couldn’t,’ said the vampire, ‘and he was a true King. I mean, they didn’t come much truer than Uther Pendragon, good friend to us vampires he was. That’s why we showed him where the sword was, but even he failed to move it.’
    â€˜My father tried to remove Excalibur?’
    â€˜He did indeed. He burst several blood vessels trying and put his back out so badly he had to lie down on a plank of wood for a whole month with unguents down his trousers, and even after that, he forever walked with a slight limp and a strange tilt to the south.’
    â€˜So that’s how he got that,’ said the Princess. ‘He always told me it was an old war wound from a battle with a giant phoenix.’
    â€˜There’s no such thing as a giant phoenix,’ said the vampire.
    â€˜I know that,’ said Morgan le Fey, ‘but I thought that was because my father had killed it.’
    â€˜They asked me to spy for them,’ said Fissure.
    â€˜What, the boy Brat?’ said Morgan le Fey.
    â€˜No, the one who’s in charge,’ said Fissure. ‘The girl.’
    â€˜Girl? There isn’t a girl…’ the Princess began. ‘No! The girl? It has to be that poor King Kasterwheel’s daughter that he thought they had kidnapped. Well, well.’
    â€˜Should we send for him?’ said Sir Lancelot.
    â€˜Tricky,’ said the Princess. ‘He thinks his daughter is an angel. I think the shock would give him a heart attack. On the other hand it would be better he find out from us rather than tittle-tattle gossip from the servants.’
    When King Kasterwheel arrived, Morgan le Fey sat him down in a comfy chair, gave him a nice big cup of super-relaxing chamomile tea and broke the news to him that his sweet, innocent daughter was actually a nasty, greedy, selfish little minx.
    â€˜Oh yes,’ said the King. ‘I could have told you