putting space between her and that damn party and the sickening realization that Erik wasn't the guy she'd thought he was. That she didn't know him at al --because the Erik she knew never would have had his tongue down some random girl's throat at a party he was supposed to be too busy to go to in the first place. Lila felt a sob catch in her throat, and fought it back down. She would not cry. Would not break. Would not let her guard down in front of Beau.
But she did stop walking. Leaning against a scratchy palm trunk, she steadied her breathing. The dorm behind them was stil pounding out the music. A
group of col ege kids walked by, undoubtedly tipsy, al of them laughing as the guy in the middle told a story that required huge hand gestures.
"I don't want to talk about it," Lila snapped at Beau when he jogged to her side. She crossed her arms tightly over her chest, like it would help her keep everything inside.
"Fine," he told her.
But she could feel his reaction, the judgment vibrating off him like an electric charge, and she hated him for it. She hated Erik for doing this to her, and she hated herself for being so stupid, so gul ible, so trusting.
"I'm serious!" she cried. A wave of humiliation crashed over
116
her. Her cheeks burned, but her body felt cold and shaky. "Like it isn't bad enough that my boyfriend is cheating on me?" she demanded, as if Beau had said something instead of just quietly judging her. "It has to be in front of you, of al people?" Her voice cracked when she said you. Terrific.
"What did you expect?" Beau asked, in a tone completely devoid of anything resembling sympathy. "Erik is a douche."
Lila's mouth fel open. "Excuse me?"
A normal person would comfort a girl who had just witnessed her boyfriend cheating on her, no matter how complicated his relationship with the girl and the boyfriend in question. A gentle don't cry pat on the back. A hug, even. But Beau was not normal. He was a sadist. Why offer comfort when he could criticize instead?
"Come on, Lila: Beau said, sounding almost impatient. "I'm not saying anything you don't already know. Are you real y that surprised?"
He pursed his lips, like he was physical y restraining himself from saying I told you so. Instantly, she was transported back to that awful conversation outside the cafeteria. She could see his superior sneer, that disappointed yet mocking gleam in his eyes. Could feel her stomach cramp at his contempt.
"Real y?" she demanded. They were standing in the middle of the crosswalk, with dark green lawns al around them. She used to dream about walking across these fields with Erik.
117
"Really, Beau? We catch my boyfriend of three years sucking face with some col ege slut at a frat party and the only thing you can manage to say is that he's a douche?"
"What else is there to say?" he asked, pushing his dark hair away from his blue eyes. "It's the unavoidable truth about Erik Hol ander."
Lila was so furious her ears were ringing. "What kind of human being are you? Who says something like that?"
"You're yel ing at me?" Beau replied, amazed. "Reality check, Lila. I'm not the guy you're mad at."
The ringing in her ears got even louder, and she opened her mouth to tear into Beau
But then she realized the ringing was not, in fact, in her head. It was in her pocket. Someone was cal ing Beau's phone. Lila wasn't sure if she was
happy to be interrupted, but she tore the phone out of her pocket anyway and blinked at the damn thing until it made sense.
Lila, read the display.
"Cooper!" Lila cried into the phone. "Where are you?" She was annoyed when Beau moved closer, pushing his head near hers so he could hear too.
She wanted to hit him, not cuddle over a phone with him.
"You guys looked so mad!" Cooper crowed. "We figured when the train got delayed that you guys might catch up to us, but we never thought we'd get to see you. How awesome was that?"
118
"Yeah, awesome Lila said sarcastical y. A university cop made his
But she did stop walking. Leaning against a scratchy palm trunk, she steadied her breathing. The dorm behind them was stil pounding out the music. A
group of col ege kids walked by, undoubtedly tipsy, al of them laughing as the guy in the middle told a story that required huge hand gestures.
"I don't want to talk about it," Lila snapped at Beau when he jogged to her side. She crossed her arms tightly over her chest, like it would help her keep everything inside.
"Fine," he told her.
But she could feel his reaction, the judgment vibrating off him like an electric charge, and she hated him for it. She hated Erik for doing this to her, and she hated herself for being so stupid, so gul ible, so trusting.
"I'm serious!" she cried. A wave of humiliation crashed over
116
her. Her cheeks burned, but her body felt cold and shaky. "Like it isn't bad enough that my boyfriend is cheating on me?" she demanded, as if Beau had said something instead of just quietly judging her. "It has to be in front of you, of al people?" Her voice cracked when she said you. Terrific.
"What did you expect?" Beau asked, in a tone completely devoid of anything resembling sympathy. "Erik is a douche."
Lila's mouth fel open. "Excuse me?"
A normal person would comfort a girl who had just witnessed her boyfriend cheating on her, no matter how complicated his relationship with the girl and the boyfriend in question. A gentle don't cry pat on the back. A hug, even. But Beau was not normal. He was a sadist. Why offer comfort when he could criticize instead?
"Come on, Lila: Beau said, sounding almost impatient. "I'm not saying anything you don't already know. Are you real y that surprised?"
He pursed his lips, like he was physical y restraining himself from saying I told you so. Instantly, she was transported back to that awful conversation outside the cafeteria. She could see his superior sneer, that disappointed yet mocking gleam in his eyes. Could feel her stomach cramp at his contempt.
"Real y?" she demanded. They were standing in the middle of the crosswalk, with dark green lawns al around them. She used to dream about walking across these fields with Erik.
117
"Really, Beau? We catch my boyfriend of three years sucking face with some col ege slut at a frat party and the only thing you can manage to say is that he's a douche?"
"What else is there to say?" he asked, pushing his dark hair away from his blue eyes. "It's the unavoidable truth about Erik Hol ander."
Lila was so furious her ears were ringing. "What kind of human being are you? Who says something like that?"
"You're yel ing at me?" Beau replied, amazed. "Reality check, Lila. I'm not the guy you're mad at."
The ringing in her ears got even louder, and she opened her mouth to tear into Beau
But then she realized the ringing was not, in fact, in her head. It was in her pocket. Someone was cal ing Beau's phone. Lila wasn't sure if she was
happy to be interrupted, but she tore the phone out of her pocket anyway and blinked at the damn thing until it made sense.
Lila, read the display.
"Cooper!" Lila cried into the phone. "Where are you?" She was annoyed when Beau moved closer, pushing his head near hers so he could hear too.
She wanted to hit him, not cuddle over a phone with him.
"You guys looked so mad!" Cooper crowed. "We figured when the train got delayed that you guys might catch up to us, but we never thought we'd get to see you. How awesome was that?"
118
"Yeah, awesome Lila said sarcastical y. A university cop made his
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