Everything You Want by Macyn Like Page A

desperate.
    “I was helping Kiera move out all
weekend, and Monday I took a personal day to help her get settled in at my
parents’ house.  Yesterday I was catching up with school stuff.”
    “Oh.”
    “I was thinking about you.  I wanted
to call or text or something, but I don’t have your number yet.”
    “We need to fix that,” I said.
    “Agreed.”  He tossed me his phone
and I typed my number into it.
    “There.”  I set it on the coffee
table and walked into the kitchen with him.
    We stood there, a foot from each
other.  “So, grilled cheese, huh?” I asked, my voice way too breathy.
    “Uh-huh,” he said, looking straight at
me, his eyes serious and full of longing.
    Suddenly he pulled me against him,
crushing his lips against mine.  I responded by placing a hand on either
side of his face and kissing him back urgently.  He picked me up and
carried me over to his couch, not even breaking the kiss when he laid me down
and lowered himself on top of me.
    Kieran was the first to come up for
air.  “I’ve got to tell you,” he whispered.
    “Tell me what?” I asked, out of breath
from the kiss.
    “I’m not…I don’t do relationships well.”
    “Okay…” What was he trying to tell
me?  That he didn’t want to be in a relationship with me?  At that
moment, I honestly didn’t care.  I just wanted to get back to that kiss.
    He must have been thinking the same
thing, because he leaned back down and kissed me, wrapping me in a tight
embrace.
    After a minute he pulled away
abruptly.  Again. 
    “I can’t—I can’t.”  His
expression was pained as he looked away from me and sat up.
    I bit my lip and inhaled deeply.  I
slid out from under him and scooted to the end of the couch, pulling my knees
up to my waist and wrapping my arms around my legs.  Kieran walked away
into the kitchen, turned away from me.
    “Why?” I asked after a moment. 
    “It’s not you.  You’re
perfect.  You’re…everything.  It’s me.  You don’t want to be
with me.”
    I stood up and walked over to him. 
I laid my hands on his shoulders and I heard him inhale sharply.  I turned
him around to face me.  “I’m pretty sure I do,” I said.  I smiled at
him, and for a second I thought I saw his face light up just a little, but then
he stepped away, his eyes clouding over again.
    “No,” he said.  “Not when you don’t
really know me.”
    “I want to know you.”
    “I don’t want you to,” he said harshly.
    I took a step backwards, hurt by his
words.
    “No, that’s not—I didn’t mean that
like it sounded.”  He sighed and ran his hand through his hair, pulling
strands loose from his ponytail as he did.  “I’m sorry.”
    I nodded, swallowing. 
    “Like I said, I don’t do relationships.”
    “Who said I needed one?” I asked.
    Kieran smiled sadly and shook his
head.  “If you were any other girl, that’s all you’d need to say, but not
you.”
    “What’s wrong with me?”
    He laughed sharply.  “Nothing is
wrong with you.  I’m trying to tell you even if you don’t want a
relationship with me, I want one with you.  I’ve wanted you all summer. 
And that’s why we have to stop this, right now.” 
    “You’re not making any sense.”
    “I’m trying to protect you.”
    “Protect me?”
    “From me.”
    “Kieran—”
    “You should go.  Please?” 
Kieran walked over to the sink and gripped the counter, bracing himself. 
    And then it clicked.  The pieces of
the puzzle that had been floating around in my head finally snapped together. 
Shannon’s words at the bar, the distance Kieran kept putting between us, and
finally, the faded tattoo on his chest.  Why had it taken this long?
    “Who’s Becca?”
    I could see his back stiffen.  He
stood completely still for a few long seconds, and then hung his head.  I
stood there, waiting.  After a minute, he turned around.
    “I met her junior year.  She was
new, and my high school was big, so I didn’t