Everything Sucks Short #1 Underground by R. Smith Page A

He pleaded. "It took me two
months to get her to dump Captain Asshole!"
    "I can't even remember why I went out with
him at all," Laura said softly, gazing at Owen. "I love you so
much."
    "I love you so much, " Owen whispered
back. The slobbering resumed.
    Hector huffed and settled into his seat.
"This is so gross." His annoyance festered until previews started
and the Laura/Owen monster became 2 separate people again. His
relief was short lived. When the face-sucking ended, the endless
stream of schmoopy-talk began.
    You have perfect eyes; you're so beautiful;
you're my whole world, baby; I'll never let anything bad happen to
you, would you do anything for me? Of course I would, wuv wuv
wuv.
    They were whispering softly enough, Hector
thought maybe he could only hear them because of his superior
Vampire hearing, but then Emily and Bud; almost in unison; grabbed
onto the seats in front of them and jumped over. Hector eagerly
followed suit as they hopped over one more row of seats before
looking back at Chloe, who shrugged and joined them. She didn't
seem to have a strong opinion on the subject.
    Hector felt bad for her. She had been good
friends with both Owen and Laura for years, and he got the feeling
she was smart enough to realize what her future held. When her
friends' Epic Romance inevitably ended; probably in an obnoxious
hurricane of melodrama, she'd be stuck between the two of them like
a human wishbone. He shoved a handful of popcorn into his mouth and
tried to focus on the previews. If she takes it real bad, maybe
I'll turn her and we can leave town.
    Hector preferred frequent changes of scenery,
but he appreciated Stevensville quite a bit. The people were nice,
and the teens were bored enough to be talked into all kinds of
outrageous crap in the name of "cuz we can, guys!" As usual, after
the movie they all got drunk in the alley behind the theater. Well,
the kids got drunk,  Hector drank and pretended to have
a good strong buzz. If the kids saw how much booze it took to get
him truly well and blotted, they might start wondering.
    When sunrise was only hours away, the group
said their goodbyes and scampered off toward their homes or
crash-pads. Hector fished car keys out of his pocket, and headed
for the front lot. He was staring up at the star flecked Montana
sky, instead of in front of him, when he ended up running smack
into someone. Iris the Ticket Ripper.
    She stood firm, staring daggers at him. No,
not daggers. Rocket launchers.
    He stared back at her, baffled. "Where do I
know you from?"
    "Hell."
    Not the response he'd expected. "Um . . . I
don't know your story, but my life's been pretty sweet for
hundreds--"
    "Orvieto. The Underground."
    Hector's jaw went as slack as if she'd just
ripped her clothes off without warning.
    She threw a sudden punch that sent him
hurtling into the wall. "I knew it! It took me a while to be sure,
but I knew it!"
    He tried to steady himself and get his feet
back; but before he could, she landed a hammering blow to his gut.
It knocked the wind out of him.
    "I promised myself if I ever saw you again,
you would suffer!" She punctuated her words with several harsh
blows to the face. "You almost got us all slaughtered!"
    Hector racked his brain, zipping through all
the faces from his time in the Underground.
    She watched him struggle. "Imagine me looking
fifteen years older with dirty skin, and hair down to my knees.
    This time he fell against the wall without
the force of a fist. "Idris."
    "Bravo."
    Super heated, electric anger rippled through
him, burning his senses as it went. "Idris!" He spat as he swung
his fist with as much force as possible; but she was ready,
deflecting the attack with ease and landing another solid strike to
his core. He grabbed her shoulders as she lurched forward with the
punch, and used her own momentum to spin her into the wall with a
satisfying thud.
    She quickly rallied her senses and yelled,
" You're pissed? Are you serious ? We let you