follow you.”
This made me freeze. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”
He grabbed my wrist and pulled me around. “I let you go once, and you disappeared on me. Without a word. I’m not asking for it to be the same as it was, but I just want to know you again. Please. Can I know you again?”
I tried to wrench my hand free, and he let go of my wrist. “Becks, what happened to you? Do you even remember me?”
At that moment, I made a decision. Jack was grasping at the faint shadow of the life we’d had before, searching for a stronghold. I could see him doing it and I couldn’t let him. I’d already hurt him enough. He said he’d moved on.
So I lied. The biggest lie ever.
“No.” I looked at his eyes. “I don’t remember anything.”
He glanced away and nodded. “Okay. I get it.” A ghost of a sad smile appeared on his lips, and my heart felt as if it were being choked. I fought to keep my hands at my sides. To keep them from pulling Jack to me. Placing them on either side of his face and forcing him to look at me again.
I shouldn’t have come back, but looking at his face, I knew. Nothing could’ve kept me away. I was that selfish.
Last spring, he’d already left me before I left him. But all that mattered now was that neither of us deserved to go through it again. I had to keep him from getting close again.
Without glancing up, Jack turned and walked away. I let him go.
Then I remembered the last time I’d let that happen. And how it turned out.
LAST YEAR
April. Two weeks before the Feed.
Jack and I stood in the parking lot of the school, oblivious to the people around us hoisting their bags onto the waiting buses. It was spring break, and the only people at the school were the ones leaving for football and cheerleading camps, and the ones saying good-bye to them.
“It’s two weeks, Jack. I think we’ll survive,” I said.
Jack clenched both of my arms, his fingers digging in almost to the bone. His brother, Will, had shipped off for basic training right after Christmas, and Jack was having separation issues.
“I’m going to need those.” I glanced at my arms.
“I don’t think I should leave you.” He paused. “Especially this week, of all weeks.”
Jack was referring to the ongoing trial of Kevin Reid, the man accused of hitting my mother with his car. The defense was wrapping up, and a verdict would be coming in.
“It’s okay, Jack. I’m not even paying attention to it.”
“I know you are.”
I extracted one of his hands and placed it on my cheek, leaning into it. “Two weeks.”
Neither of us noticed somebody approaching. “Okay, lovebirds. The buses are waiting.” Cole appeared beside us. His band had stayed on after Sundance. Apparently they were using a condo near the ski resort for songwriting. I’d run into him a few times since the night at Harry O’s.
“Hey, Cole,” I said. “What are you doing here?”
“Max asked me to drop Meredith off.” He tilted his head toward the bus carrying the cheerleading and pep squads. I didn’t see Meredith, but I saw Lacey Greene watching us from one of the windows.
Lacey had spent the week leading up to football camp telling everyone who would listen “What happens at camp stays at camp,” which made it sound like camp consisted of a craps table, tequila-lime shots, and tangled sheets.
I tried not to let it bother me that she would be staying on the same campus as Jack.
“That’s nice of you,” I said.
“It was on the way. I’m making some silk screens for T-shirts at the shop,” Cole said, gesturing across the parking lot toward the GraphX Shop down the street.
“Making your own T-shirts? Don’t you have people for that?” I asked. “Like professionals?”
“Well, I usually travel with an army of professional T-shirt makers, but today I thought I’d go it alone.”
Jack didn’t take his eyes off me as Cole spoke. I wasn’t sure he was even listening, or aware Cole was there.
“What
This made me freeze. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”
He grabbed my wrist and pulled me around. “I let you go once, and you disappeared on me. Without a word. I’m not asking for it to be the same as it was, but I just want to know you again. Please. Can I know you again?”
I tried to wrench my hand free, and he let go of my wrist. “Becks, what happened to you? Do you even remember me?”
At that moment, I made a decision. Jack was grasping at the faint shadow of the life we’d had before, searching for a stronghold. I could see him doing it and I couldn’t let him. I’d already hurt him enough. He said he’d moved on.
So I lied. The biggest lie ever.
“No.” I looked at his eyes. “I don’t remember anything.”
He glanced away and nodded. “Okay. I get it.” A ghost of a sad smile appeared on his lips, and my heart felt as if it were being choked. I fought to keep my hands at my sides. To keep them from pulling Jack to me. Placing them on either side of his face and forcing him to look at me again.
I shouldn’t have come back, but looking at his face, I knew. Nothing could’ve kept me away. I was that selfish.
Last spring, he’d already left me before I left him. But all that mattered now was that neither of us deserved to go through it again. I had to keep him from getting close again.
Without glancing up, Jack turned and walked away. I let him go.
Then I remembered the last time I’d let that happen. And how it turned out.
LAST YEAR
April. Two weeks before the Feed.
Jack and I stood in the parking lot of the school, oblivious to the people around us hoisting their bags onto the waiting buses. It was spring break, and the only people at the school were the ones leaving for football and cheerleading camps, and the ones saying good-bye to them.
“It’s two weeks, Jack. I think we’ll survive,” I said.
Jack clenched both of my arms, his fingers digging in almost to the bone. His brother, Will, had shipped off for basic training right after Christmas, and Jack was having separation issues.
“I’m going to need those.” I glanced at my arms.
“I don’t think I should leave you.” He paused. “Especially this week, of all weeks.”
Jack was referring to the ongoing trial of Kevin Reid, the man accused of hitting my mother with his car. The defense was wrapping up, and a verdict would be coming in.
“It’s okay, Jack. I’m not even paying attention to it.”
“I know you are.”
I extracted one of his hands and placed it on my cheek, leaning into it. “Two weeks.”
Neither of us noticed somebody approaching. “Okay, lovebirds. The buses are waiting.” Cole appeared beside us. His band had stayed on after Sundance. Apparently they were using a condo near the ski resort for songwriting. I’d run into him a few times since the night at Harry O’s.
“Hey, Cole,” I said. “What are you doing here?”
“Max asked me to drop Meredith off.” He tilted his head toward the bus carrying the cheerleading and pep squads. I didn’t see Meredith, but I saw Lacey Greene watching us from one of the windows.
Lacey had spent the week leading up to football camp telling everyone who would listen “What happens at camp stays at camp,” which made it sound like camp consisted of a craps table, tequila-lime shots, and tangled sheets.
I tried not to let it bother me that she would be staying on the same campus as Jack.
“That’s nice of you,” I said.
“It was on the way. I’m making some silk screens for T-shirts at the shop,” Cole said, gesturing across the parking lot toward the GraphX Shop down the street.
“Making your own T-shirts? Don’t you have people for that?” I asked. “Like professionals?”
“Well, I usually travel with an army of professional T-shirt makers, but today I thought I’d go it alone.”
Jack didn’t take his eyes off me as Cole spoke. I wasn’t sure he was even listening, or aware Cole was there.
“What
Similar Books
