pushing the idea away since we moved here to Chicago. Did you lie about that too?”
I heard him take a deep breath before he answered. “I want kids.” He thought about what he was about to say next. “I just don’t want them with you.” I leaned over and grasped the wall for support. “Emilyn, I think I’ve fallen in love with Julia. You had to have known at some point that this marriage wasn’t going to last. You were just a means to an end. I need a woman that can stand up for herself; someone with a backbone.”
Since I walked into this house and found the two of them, I hadn’t shed a tear. I didn’t know why, I just hadn’t. When the hateful words that came from both West and Julia were flung at me, I still couldn’t cry. But hearing that he had never wanted children with me caused them to prick my eyes. Having a family was something that I had wanted since I was a little girl. We all dream of our future husband, house, and kids. Now the bottom had fallen out of my dreams, and I felt like I had nothing left. I squared my shoulders and stood tall. I wouldn’t show that to West, not now and not ever again! He would never have the satisfaction of seeing another emotion from me. I’d never hated anybody before. I’d strongly disliked some people, but in that moment I truly hated West. Any feelings of love I had for him were gone. It really felt that easy for me.
Taking slow and deliberate steps forward I said, “How’s this for a backbone… you and that bitch can have each other. You are a lying piece of shit that used me only to serve whatever purpose you needed. I won’t allow you to walk all over me West. I’m better than all of this and I’m better than you. I suggest you hire a good divorce attorney, because I have no doubt the judge will see right through you.” I’d never spoken to anyone that way before. I thought it would feel good to stick it to him, but I felt nothing.
Julia came walking through the hall in a skimpy little silk baby doll telling West, “Let her go. She’ll never get anything from us. Come back to bed baby.” She had reached for West’s hand.
Oh I was going to kill her! I started to move forward ready to throw the skinny little bitch to the ground, but she squealed and West pulled her behind him. I stopped my forward motion. I couldn’t do this. It wasn’t who I was, and definitely not who I wanted to be. I needed to leave before it got even uglier.
Turning on my heels I grabbed my suitcase, phone, and purse and made my way out the front door. I could vaguely hear West yelling out the door that I’d never get anything from him—along with other hurtful words about me being worthless—but I couldn’t absorb anything.
Getting in my car I only had one choice of where to go. I called the airport and booked a flight back home to Idaho and called Harper. I was sure an army would have struggled to prevent Harper from flying to Chicago and taking West out, but I think she was able to tell from my tone that I couldn’t handle any more drama and so she let me have that. I gave her my flight information and told her that I would be staying at a hotel until I was ready to fly out so I could get some sleep. She said she’d meet me at the airport and then rung off, but only after I’d promised call her before I left Chicago.
I booked myself in to a hotel right next to the airport and settled in to my room. There was no way I was going to sleep. I threw up as soon as I made it in to my room but managed to drag myself out of the bathroom before collapsing on the bed. Staring up at the ceiling, I tried to make sense of what had just happened. I knew I felt sad about the crumbling of my marriage, but deep down I knew I wasn’t as upset as I should have been. Rather than focusing on West and Julia, my mind kept wandering back to Finn and how I’d left him. I also thought about that baby that I was now thankful I’d never conceived with West. No child should ever come
I heard him take a deep breath before he answered. “I want kids.” He thought about what he was about to say next. “I just don’t want them with you.” I leaned over and grasped the wall for support. “Emilyn, I think I’ve fallen in love with Julia. You had to have known at some point that this marriage wasn’t going to last. You were just a means to an end. I need a woman that can stand up for herself; someone with a backbone.”
Since I walked into this house and found the two of them, I hadn’t shed a tear. I didn’t know why, I just hadn’t. When the hateful words that came from both West and Julia were flung at me, I still couldn’t cry. But hearing that he had never wanted children with me caused them to prick my eyes. Having a family was something that I had wanted since I was a little girl. We all dream of our future husband, house, and kids. Now the bottom had fallen out of my dreams, and I felt like I had nothing left. I squared my shoulders and stood tall. I wouldn’t show that to West, not now and not ever again! He would never have the satisfaction of seeing another emotion from me. I’d never hated anybody before. I’d strongly disliked some people, but in that moment I truly hated West. Any feelings of love I had for him were gone. It really felt that easy for me.
Taking slow and deliberate steps forward I said, “How’s this for a backbone… you and that bitch can have each other. You are a lying piece of shit that used me only to serve whatever purpose you needed. I won’t allow you to walk all over me West. I’m better than all of this and I’m better than you. I suggest you hire a good divorce attorney, because I have no doubt the judge will see right through you.” I’d never spoken to anyone that way before. I thought it would feel good to stick it to him, but I felt nothing.
Julia came walking through the hall in a skimpy little silk baby doll telling West, “Let her go. She’ll never get anything from us. Come back to bed baby.” She had reached for West’s hand.
Oh I was going to kill her! I started to move forward ready to throw the skinny little bitch to the ground, but she squealed and West pulled her behind him. I stopped my forward motion. I couldn’t do this. It wasn’t who I was, and definitely not who I wanted to be. I needed to leave before it got even uglier.
Turning on my heels I grabbed my suitcase, phone, and purse and made my way out the front door. I could vaguely hear West yelling out the door that I’d never get anything from him—along with other hurtful words about me being worthless—but I couldn’t absorb anything.
Getting in my car I only had one choice of where to go. I called the airport and booked a flight back home to Idaho and called Harper. I was sure an army would have struggled to prevent Harper from flying to Chicago and taking West out, but I think she was able to tell from my tone that I couldn’t handle any more drama and so she let me have that. I gave her my flight information and told her that I would be staying at a hotel until I was ready to fly out so I could get some sleep. She said she’d meet me at the airport and then rung off, but only after I’d promised call her before I left Chicago.
I booked myself in to a hotel right next to the airport and settled in to my room. There was no way I was going to sleep. I threw up as soon as I made it in to my room but managed to drag myself out of the bathroom before collapsing on the bed. Staring up at the ceiling, I tried to make sense of what had just happened. I knew I felt sad about the crumbling of my marriage, but deep down I knew I wasn’t as upset as I should have been. Rather than focusing on West and Julia, my mind kept wandering back to Finn and how I’d left him. I also thought about that baby that I was now thankful I’d never conceived with West. No child should ever come
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