affects her in this way.
She takes a sip of her drink – glancing nonchalantly over to where the lads are sitting – and her heart leaps. He is staring at her again. This time though it isn’t threatening in the slightest, instead he looks more intrigued, with only a slight, underlying hint of irritation. It is a definite improvement from last time.
Abbey jumps as her phone vibrates in her pocket and she reaches for it grudgingly, pressing the message icon in the top corner of the screen. ‘1 New Voicemail’. She hadn’t heard her phone ringing over the music but she can already guess who the missed call is from. She walks out onto the balcony where it is quieter and calls through to her message bank.
‘Where are you? You need to be back no later than midnight Abbey, I mean it. Don’t be late.’ Peter is obviously still furious with her. Why can’t he just leave her the hell alone instead of involving himself in her life? He obviously gets a kick out of lording it over her and acting all superior. She wishes he would just back off.
“Hey, are you OK?” Lucy joins Abbey on the balcony, hugging her arms to her chest, “It’s freezing out here…”
“Yeah… sorry, I was just checking my phone. I have a voicemail from Pete…”
“And what did he have to say?” Lucy raises an eyebrow and tilts her head disapprovingly.
“Oh the usual, just barking orders at me. He says I have to be back by midnight…”
“What?!” Lucy pouts… “But we aren’t even leaving the flat until 11pm and you can’t skip the club it’s going to be great…”
“I know. But he won’t budge…”
“So just pretend you haven’t got the message! Come on Abbey… he clearly doesn’t understand what’s going on with you. What you need right now is to have a laugh and get your life back! Just because he isn’t dealing with it, don’t let him drag you down as well…”
Abbey breathes in the cold night air and stares down at the lights of the city that are sparkling below. Lucy has a point. She seems to understand Abbey better than anyone and always knows exactly what she needs. But it doesn’t change how terrible she feels about how strained her relationship with her family has become and she knows that she is making it worse by acting out. She should be on her best behaviour instead of making things more difficult for her mum, but she isn’t doing it on purpose. She just can’t bring herself to carry on as normal like they do, pretending as though everything is fine. Her sorrow, her anger and her grief, they are always there - a constant ache in her heart which there is no escape from, and it is far too strong to ignore.
“I just wish I could run away from it all, you know…?”Abbey whispers, “This last year has been the worst year of my life and I’m so sick of feeling this way… hurting all the time. I want to grieve, I want to remember Ryan and celebrate him and move on but I can’t because of them. The way they act, like it didn’t happen, like Ryan was never here… It makes me so angry. He doesn’t deserve that…”
“Maybe they act that way because they find it easier to block it all out rather than deal with it…?” Lucy suggests, hesitantly.
“Yeah. That’s exactly it. I know that it’s their way of ‘coping’, but I just don’t understand how they can turn their back on him like that…”
“You really miss him don’t you?” Lucy asks, and tears spring behind Abbey’s eyes. She isn’t used to talking about Ryan this way as her family hardly ever mention him at all, and it is strange, openly admitting her feelings.
“Every single day…” she sighs, turning to face Lucy, “Have you ever felt like you wanted to escape your own life and be someone else…?” she asks, shaking her head, sadly, “I wish I could make it all just disappear… even for one night…”
“Maybe you can…?” Lucy’s tone is quietly cautious.
“What do you mean?”
“Look, I know you said
She takes a sip of her drink – glancing nonchalantly over to where the lads are sitting – and her heart leaps. He is staring at her again. This time though it isn’t threatening in the slightest, instead he looks more intrigued, with only a slight, underlying hint of irritation. It is a definite improvement from last time.
Abbey jumps as her phone vibrates in her pocket and she reaches for it grudgingly, pressing the message icon in the top corner of the screen. ‘1 New Voicemail’. She hadn’t heard her phone ringing over the music but she can already guess who the missed call is from. She walks out onto the balcony where it is quieter and calls through to her message bank.
‘Where are you? You need to be back no later than midnight Abbey, I mean it. Don’t be late.’ Peter is obviously still furious with her. Why can’t he just leave her the hell alone instead of involving himself in her life? He obviously gets a kick out of lording it over her and acting all superior. She wishes he would just back off.
“Hey, are you OK?” Lucy joins Abbey on the balcony, hugging her arms to her chest, “It’s freezing out here…”
“Yeah… sorry, I was just checking my phone. I have a voicemail from Pete…”
“And what did he have to say?” Lucy raises an eyebrow and tilts her head disapprovingly.
“Oh the usual, just barking orders at me. He says I have to be back by midnight…”
“What?!” Lucy pouts… “But we aren’t even leaving the flat until 11pm and you can’t skip the club it’s going to be great…”
“I know. But he won’t budge…”
“So just pretend you haven’t got the message! Come on Abbey… he clearly doesn’t understand what’s going on with you. What you need right now is to have a laugh and get your life back! Just because he isn’t dealing with it, don’t let him drag you down as well…”
Abbey breathes in the cold night air and stares down at the lights of the city that are sparkling below. Lucy has a point. She seems to understand Abbey better than anyone and always knows exactly what she needs. But it doesn’t change how terrible she feels about how strained her relationship with her family has become and she knows that she is making it worse by acting out. She should be on her best behaviour instead of making things more difficult for her mum, but she isn’t doing it on purpose. She just can’t bring herself to carry on as normal like they do, pretending as though everything is fine. Her sorrow, her anger and her grief, they are always there - a constant ache in her heart which there is no escape from, and it is far too strong to ignore.
“I just wish I could run away from it all, you know…?”Abbey whispers, “This last year has been the worst year of my life and I’m so sick of feeling this way… hurting all the time. I want to grieve, I want to remember Ryan and celebrate him and move on but I can’t because of them. The way they act, like it didn’t happen, like Ryan was never here… It makes me so angry. He doesn’t deserve that…”
“Maybe they act that way because they find it easier to block it all out rather than deal with it…?” Lucy suggests, hesitantly.
“Yeah. That’s exactly it. I know that it’s their way of ‘coping’, but I just don’t understand how they can turn their back on him like that…”
“You really miss him don’t you?” Lucy asks, and tears spring behind Abbey’s eyes. She isn’t used to talking about Ryan this way as her family hardly ever mention him at all, and it is strange, openly admitting her feelings.
“Every single day…” she sighs, turning to face Lucy, “Have you ever felt like you wanted to escape your own life and be someone else…?” she asks, shaking her head, sadly, “I wish I could make it all just disappear… even for one night…”
“Maybe you can…?” Lucy’s tone is quietly cautious.
“What do you mean?”
“Look, I know you said
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