maid and nanny. He left her a list of chores to be done each day, all of them directed toward making him and Jared comfortable. Suzie, who slept alone in the room with the crib, cried herself almost nightly to sleep. She quickly learned he had no patience for tears—her first black eye taught her that. Meek as a mouse, submissive to his whims or face punishment—she almost wished she’d gone back to her mother and her strict household rules.
Where had his love for her gone? What had she done? She’d been so sure it had to be her—she must have done something to change his love for her. It never occurred to her at the time to place any of the blame on him. Desperate thoughts plagued her. Was it because she’d blossomed in weight? Her body never did regain its pre-pregnancy shape. Maybe she wasn’t interesting enough. Or maybe, said that damned little voice in her head, he’d never loved her at all. No, she couldn’t have been so wrong, so blind, so stupidly naïve . . .
When the twins were three months old, Damian started preparing for a trip.
“Where are we going?” she’d asked. Not that she really cared, but maybe if they went elsewhere the Damian she had fallen in love with would come back.
“Jared and I are going home.”
“What about Jessica and me?” she’d asked, her whining tone grating even to her ear.
“Frankly, my dear, you and Jessica can do whatever you like. I have no further use for either of you,” he’d said with disdain, the coldness in his eyes making her shiver.
Appalled, Suzie tried to talk to him. She cried, pleaded, trying to understand, but Damian slapped her and told her to shut up and stop her whining. She cowered and swallowed her tongue and watched as he continued with his plans. It began to dawn on her that this was the real Damian. Not the silver-tongued devil who had seduced her, but this cold, calculating man who treated her like the basest of creatures. He’d never loved her. She’d just been a means to an end.
As he continued his plans to take her son away, she realized no one was going to come to her rescue, and if she didn’t do something, he’d leave, disappear into the vast world, taking Jared with him. Finally, a spark of anger ignited. Fuck that, and fuck him! He’d lost his mind if he thought she’d let him take off with her precious baby boy. Damian obviously wasn’t the man she’d believed him to be, and bemoaning 41
her fate wouldn’t change it. He’d used her—impregnated her like some prize mare—and now planned to take off with his prize colt.
Over her dead fucking body.
Suzie, the anger finally clearing the blinders from her eyes, made plans of her own. She called a distant aunt who’d always been friendly to her growing up. Together they made plans for Suzie to come and stay for a while with the twins till she found a place of her own.
Suzie packed in secret. She bought second hand luggage and hid it in the storage locker that Damian never used. She began squirreling away the household money he left her.
Finally, the day arrived. Damian told her he’d be gone most of the day finalizing his plans for Jared and him to leave.
“The lease is paid till the end of the month. Stay or leave, I don’t care, but don’t expect any help from me for you and the girl child.”
He left her on those cold words, and as she watched his lanky form going up the street for the last time, she had to hold back an urge to scream what she really thought of him, although she thought it hard and venomously—Goddamn, lying son-of-a-bitch! But better than words were action.
Calling a cab company, she lugged her packed suitcases out of hiding, and with two used car seats she’d picked up at a garage sale, made her way to the train station. What a nightmare! Imagine being alone and trying to cart around not just one, but two three month old babies. Absolutely helpless in their innocence, wrapped in their carseats, a pitifully small pile of luggage beside
Where had his love for her gone? What had she done? She’d been so sure it had to be her—she must have done something to change his love for her. It never occurred to her at the time to place any of the blame on him. Desperate thoughts plagued her. Was it because she’d blossomed in weight? Her body never did regain its pre-pregnancy shape. Maybe she wasn’t interesting enough. Or maybe, said that damned little voice in her head, he’d never loved her at all. No, she couldn’t have been so wrong, so blind, so stupidly naïve . . .
When the twins were three months old, Damian started preparing for a trip.
“Where are we going?” she’d asked. Not that she really cared, but maybe if they went elsewhere the Damian she had fallen in love with would come back.
“Jared and I are going home.”
“What about Jessica and me?” she’d asked, her whining tone grating even to her ear.
“Frankly, my dear, you and Jessica can do whatever you like. I have no further use for either of you,” he’d said with disdain, the coldness in his eyes making her shiver.
Appalled, Suzie tried to talk to him. She cried, pleaded, trying to understand, but Damian slapped her and told her to shut up and stop her whining. She cowered and swallowed her tongue and watched as he continued with his plans. It began to dawn on her that this was the real Damian. Not the silver-tongued devil who had seduced her, but this cold, calculating man who treated her like the basest of creatures. He’d never loved her. She’d just been a means to an end.
As he continued his plans to take her son away, she realized no one was going to come to her rescue, and if she didn’t do something, he’d leave, disappear into the vast world, taking Jared with him. Finally, a spark of anger ignited. Fuck that, and fuck him! He’d lost his mind if he thought she’d let him take off with her precious baby boy. Damian obviously wasn’t the man she’d believed him to be, and bemoaning 41
her fate wouldn’t change it. He’d used her—impregnated her like some prize mare—and now planned to take off with his prize colt.
Over her dead fucking body.
Suzie, the anger finally clearing the blinders from her eyes, made plans of her own. She called a distant aunt who’d always been friendly to her growing up. Together they made plans for Suzie to come and stay for a while with the twins till she found a place of her own.
Suzie packed in secret. She bought second hand luggage and hid it in the storage locker that Damian never used. She began squirreling away the household money he left her.
Finally, the day arrived. Damian told her he’d be gone most of the day finalizing his plans for Jared and him to leave.
“The lease is paid till the end of the month. Stay or leave, I don’t care, but don’t expect any help from me for you and the girl child.”
He left her on those cold words, and as she watched his lanky form going up the street for the last time, she had to hold back an urge to scream what she really thought of him, although she thought it hard and venomously—Goddamn, lying son-of-a-bitch! But better than words were action.
Calling a cab company, she lugged her packed suitcases out of hiding, and with two used car seats she’d picked up at a garage sale, made her way to the train station. What a nightmare! Imagine being alone and trying to cart around not just one, but two three month old babies. Absolutely helpless in their innocence, wrapped in their carseats, a pitifully small pile of luggage beside
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