emotional corner, she steeled her heart against weakness. She couldn’t be around Jacob; it hurt too much.
It seemed like forever before the driver knocked. When Vivienne opened the door, she motioned to the bedroom, and he went to get her luggage. As the driver wheeled her suitcase into the hall, Vivienne followed him. She was tempted to glance at Jacob, but feared that she’d turn back if she did so.
Instead, she stepped into the hall, the heavy door clicking shut behind her. Forcing the tears away, Vivienne got into the elevator with the driver. Conversation was at a minimum, as she was unable to speak without falling apart.
On any other day, the drive to the airport would have been lovely. The morning sun cast brilliant light over the city strewn over the steep hills, the early fog beginning to burn off. But Vivienne found no joy in the sight, barely even looking at it as the car swept her away from Jacob.
Once at the airport and inside the jet, Vivienne buckled in for the flight. The flight attendant offered her a drink, but she just shook her head. The liftoff was significant; it meant that she had really gone. Jacob remained in San Francisco, with several days left to conclude his business. Meanwhile, Vivienne flew toward a life that was unfamiliar to her.
As the initial shock wore off, the magnitude of what had happened struck her with force. The flight attendant was in the in-flight kitchen, giving her some privacy. In the solitude of the plane, Vivienne cried in earnest. Once the tears started, she couldn’t stop them.
Covering her eyes with a linen napkin, Vivienne sobbed. She cried for the loss of Jacob, for what they almost had together. And she cried for what could have been, but fate had ensured that it hadn’t. The only man she loved was lost to her.
Vivienne did love him; it was impossible to deny such deep feeling. But she couldn’t have him. And she didn’t want him if the sacrifice was too great. She was done trying to convince him of the goodness inside him, done hoping for something that wasn’t going to happen.
She’d been idealistic to think that Jacob would say that he loved her. Vivienne’s patience had not paid off. Maybe she should have seen it sooner, or possibly she just had to live through the agony in order to be convinced of the futility.
But Jacob wouldn’t, or couldn’t let go of the past. His childhood innocence had been obliterated by his father’s cruelty. His condition was the result of abuse, and he had the scars on his back to prove it. Somehow, trying to kill his father didn’t seem wrong.
In the throes of grief over his mother’s injuries, after prolonged abuse, both mental and physical…what child wouldn’t react? But Jacob felt responsible for causing the fight between his parents that resulted in his mother’s death. However unjustly, he blamed himself for the negative consequences.
The guilt had become a part of Jacob, a burden that weighed heavily, despite the years that had passed. Clearly, he had embraced the shadows of his youth for so long that he believed the worst. “ I tried to kill my own father ,” he’d said, that stark confession gripping him to his very soul. Vivienne had seen it in his eyes, heard it in his voice.
Jacob was lost to her; he had been from the moment they’d met. Vivienne just hadn’t seen it. She’d wanted to believe that goodness would triumph over evil, but she hadn’t known of such pervasive evil before.
As Vivienne dried her eyes, she remembered that Sophia had said Jacob needed to resolve the issue himself. She was torn up about separating, but Jacob hadn’t budged. Vivienne had thought love could make the difference. Sophia had said, “ Just love him…and have faith .”
Vivienne had loved Jacob; she still did. But it wasn’t enough.
After touchdown, Ian greeted her and drove her back to her apartment. She assumed Jacob had told him they’d broken up, because the driver didn’t try to talk to her. He
It seemed like forever before the driver knocked. When Vivienne opened the door, she motioned to the bedroom, and he went to get her luggage. As the driver wheeled her suitcase into the hall, Vivienne followed him. She was tempted to glance at Jacob, but feared that she’d turn back if she did so.
Instead, she stepped into the hall, the heavy door clicking shut behind her. Forcing the tears away, Vivienne got into the elevator with the driver. Conversation was at a minimum, as she was unable to speak without falling apart.
On any other day, the drive to the airport would have been lovely. The morning sun cast brilliant light over the city strewn over the steep hills, the early fog beginning to burn off. But Vivienne found no joy in the sight, barely even looking at it as the car swept her away from Jacob.
Once at the airport and inside the jet, Vivienne buckled in for the flight. The flight attendant offered her a drink, but she just shook her head. The liftoff was significant; it meant that she had really gone. Jacob remained in San Francisco, with several days left to conclude his business. Meanwhile, Vivienne flew toward a life that was unfamiliar to her.
As the initial shock wore off, the magnitude of what had happened struck her with force. The flight attendant was in the in-flight kitchen, giving her some privacy. In the solitude of the plane, Vivienne cried in earnest. Once the tears started, she couldn’t stop them.
Covering her eyes with a linen napkin, Vivienne sobbed. She cried for the loss of Jacob, for what they almost had together. And she cried for what could have been, but fate had ensured that it hadn’t. The only man she loved was lost to her.
Vivienne did love him; it was impossible to deny such deep feeling. But she couldn’t have him. And she didn’t want him if the sacrifice was too great. She was done trying to convince him of the goodness inside him, done hoping for something that wasn’t going to happen.
She’d been idealistic to think that Jacob would say that he loved her. Vivienne’s patience had not paid off. Maybe she should have seen it sooner, or possibly she just had to live through the agony in order to be convinced of the futility.
But Jacob wouldn’t, or couldn’t let go of the past. His childhood innocence had been obliterated by his father’s cruelty. His condition was the result of abuse, and he had the scars on his back to prove it. Somehow, trying to kill his father didn’t seem wrong.
In the throes of grief over his mother’s injuries, after prolonged abuse, both mental and physical…what child wouldn’t react? But Jacob felt responsible for causing the fight between his parents that resulted in his mother’s death. However unjustly, he blamed himself for the negative consequences.
The guilt had become a part of Jacob, a burden that weighed heavily, despite the years that had passed. Clearly, he had embraced the shadows of his youth for so long that he believed the worst. “ I tried to kill my own father ,” he’d said, that stark confession gripping him to his very soul. Vivienne had seen it in his eyes, heard it in his voice.
Jacob was lost to her; he had been from the moment they’d met. Vivienne just hadn’t seen it. She’d wanted to believe that goodness would triumph over evil, but she hadn’t known of such pervasive evil before.
As Vivienne dried her eyes, she remembered that Sophia had said Jacob needed to resolve the issue himself. She was torn up about separating, but Jacob hadn’t budged. Vivienne had thought love could make the difference. Sophia had said, “ Just love him…and have faith .”
Vivienne had loved Jacob; she still did. But it wasn’t enough.
After touchdown, Ian greeted her and drove her back to her apartment. She assumed Jacob had told him they’d broken up, because the driver didn’t try to talk to her. He
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