running into me. Merry Christmas, Elsie.”
And finally a weary, “Happy New Year.”
I took a deep breath. There. That wasn’t so bad.
I moved to the fridge and jumped when the phone began to ring. With a pounding heart, I picked it up. “Hello?”
The voice on the other was not Henry. I was disappointed it wasn’t Henry, then disappointed again because I was still hoping it would be. I thought I would have stopped hoping he’d call by now. “Elsie,” Beth said. “How are you?”
“Hey!” I tried to greet with enthusiasm. “Sorry I didn’t get to return your call the other day.”
“No problem,” she said. “Things have been busy around here too.”
I poured myself a glass of wine as we chatted. It felt good to talk about meaningless things without having to think about the man who broke my heart. Eventually, though, I knew his name was going to come up.
“So, I have news about Henry,” Beth said.
I sighed through my nose. “Do I need to know?”
“Well, I think so,” Beth said slowly. “He’s moving to Korea next week. A one year remote tour.”
I hardened my heart against the hurt. I’d finally started to get the hang of it these last few months. “Oh, that’s nice for him.”
“You don’t have to pretend with me,” she said gently.
“It doesn’t really matter if he’s here in Oklahoma or halfway across the world. Either way, we’re not together.” Henry concealing his move to Korea was not the worst in the long list of secrets he’d kept from me over the years. I really shouldn’t have been hurt by it. “Does it piss me off that he didn’t even tell me? Yes, but what’s new? That man never tells me anything.”
“I just found out through Sam,” Beth said. Sam was in the same squadron as Henry and the two were good buddies.
“Yeah, Henry’s moved on. That’s fine.” It really wasn’t, but what else could I say?
“I don’t think that’s true,” Beth said. “He’s been keeping tabs on you through Sam.”
“What would he know about—” I paused, knowing exactly where Sam was getting his information.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “You’re my friend. I talk about you. Henry just asks if you’re doing okay, if you’re dating. He asked about the apartment and the neighborhood, making sure it was safe.”
I refused to let that little bubble of hope float too high. I pushed it down into my stomach and drowned it with wine. “That jerk,” I said through my teeth.
“I think it’s kind of sweet,” Beth said.
“Well, he didn’t break your heart,” I mumbled. “So when’s he PCSing out?”
“The movers have already come. I think he’s leaving next week.” Neither of us said anything for a long time. Finally Beth said, “We’re having a party at our house this Saturday night for his send-off. If you wanted to say goodbye, maybe give him a piece of your mind, then that’s where he’ll be.”
“No thanks,” I said much too quickly.
“Well, the party starts at seven and ends when people start puking in the bathtub,” Beth said. “Just think about it.”
After the call I crumpled onto the couch and turned on the television, refusing to commit another brain cell to thinking about Henry and his impending departure. I decided I wouldn’t think about the pained look on his face the last night we spent together, when he’d told me he was scared he was making the biggest mistake of his life. I wouldn’t think about his tapes and what he’d revealed in them, that I had consumed him entirely and he’d lost sight of who he was. I would not even think about the fact that, if he came to my door and begged me, I would probably take him back.
No , I thought as I rubbed at my eyes—stinging from exhaustion and not from tears. I am definitely done thinking about Henry.
~
I ended up going to Beth and Sam’s house on Saturday night because I was a hopeless masochist—but if anybody asked, it was because I’d decided to be an adult and
And finally a weary, “Happy New Year.”
I took a deep breath. There. That wasn’t so bad.
I moved to the fridge and jumped when the phone began to ring. With a pounding heart, I picked it up. “Hello?”
The voice on the other was not Henry. I was disappointed it wasn’t Henry, then disappointed again because I was still hoping it would be. I thought I would have stopped hoping he’d call by now. “Elsie,” Beth said. “How are you?”
“Hey!” I tried to greet with enthusiasm. “Sorry I didn’t get to return your call the other day.”
“No problem,” she said. “Things have been busy around here too.”
I poured myself a glass of wine as we chatted. It felt good to talk about meaningless things without having to think about the man who broke my heart. Eventually, though, I knew his name was going to come up.
“So, I have news about Henry,” Beth said.
I sighed through my nose. “Do I need to know?”
“Well, I think so,” Beth said slowly. “He’s moving to Korea next week. A one year remote tour.”
I hardened my heart against the hurt. I’d finally started to get the hang of it these last few months. “Oh, that’s nice for him.”
“You don’t have to pretend with me,” she said gently.
“It doesn’t really matter if he’s here in Oklahoma or halfway across the world. Either way, we’re not together.” Henry concealing his move to Korea was not the worst in the long list of secrets he’d kept from me over the years. I really shouldn’t have been hurt by it. “Does it piss me off that he didn’t even tell me? Yes, but what’s new? That man never tells me anything.”
“I just found out through Sam,” Beth said. Sam was in the same squadron as Henry and the two were good buddies.
“Yeah, Henry’s moved on. That’s fine.” It really wasn’t, but what else could I say?
“I don’t think that’s true,” Beth said. “He’s been keeping tabs on you through Sam.”
“What would he know about—” I paused, knowing exactly where Sam was getting his information.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “You’re my friend. I talk about you. Henry just asks if you’re doing okay, if you’re dating. He asked about the apartment and the neighborhood, making sure it was safe.”
I refused to let that little bubble of hope float too high. I pushed it down into my stomach and drowned it with wine. “That jerk,” I said through my teeth.
“I think it’s kind of sweet,” Beth said.
“Well, he didn’t break your heart,” I mumbled. “So when’s he PCSing out?”
“The movers have already come. I think he’s leaving next week.” Neither of us said anything for a long time. Finally Beth said, “We’re having a party at our house this Saturday night for his send-off. If you wanted to say goodbye, maybe give him a piece of your mind, then that’s where he’ll be.”
“No thanks,” I said much too quickly.
“Well, the party starts at seven and ends when people start puking in the bathtub,” Beth said. “Just think about it.”
After the call I crumpled onto the couch and turned on the television, refusing to commit another brain cell to thinking about Henry and his impending departure. I decided I wouldn’t think about the pained look on his face the last night we spent together, when he’d told me he was scared he was making the biggest mistake of his life. I wouldn’t think about his tapes and what he’d revealed in them, that I had consumed him entirely and he’d lost sight of who he was. I would not even think about the fact that, if he came to my door and begged me, I would probably take him back.
No , I thought as I rubbed at my eyes—stinging from exhaustion and not from tears. I am definitely done thinking about Henry.
~
I ended up going to Beth and Sam’s house on Saturday night because I was a hopeless masochist—but if anybody asked, it was because I’d decided to be an adult and
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