of my room
and headed out into the cool, damp evening.
It had been raining throughout the day, so
the air smelled deliciously clean and crisp when we stepped outside. I was
careful as I trudged down the rickety wood steps because as Grandma would say,
they were “slicker than snot” after it rained.
Instead of opening his car door, Gabriel
turned around and leaned against it, “Just so you know, Roshell, I have
purposely given you space because you haven’t been exactly friendly at school
this past week. You just kind of clammed up on me.”
I felt slightly abashed, knowing that he
was right and I had put all the blame on him earlier. “I know, I just… I
thought that maybe you wouldn’t want me to talk to you at school.”
Gabriel grinned, when I got flustered and
shy. “Of course I want you to talk to me at school, or anywhere for that
matter.”
I was nervously fidgeting with the zipper
on my hooded sweatshirt and once I realized it, I stopped and looked him in the
eye. “Okay, friends?”
Gabriel’s smile faded and he straightened
his lazy posture. “Friends? No. I don’t think so.” With that he pulled me in
quickly and laid one on me before I could respond.
This kiss was not like the others. It was
fast and intense so that when he stepped back, I was practically dizzy from it.
He had taken me under to the point where I could barely think and then just as
quickly resurfaced, leaving me floundering, off guard.
I didn’t know if the kiss had affected him
as strongly but I was acutely aware of the fact that he was constantly gauging
my reaction and tempering his own actions to fit my needs. It felt as though we
were always engaged in a delicate dance, bending, pulling back and then leaning
into the other as we learned about the needs and desires flowing between. His
consistently respectful attempt to give me security and safety in our interactions
gave me a rare sense of being treasured.
Still, I felt vulnerable and a little
nervous because of my past experiences. I appreciated his recognition of my
need to proceed cautiously. In the same token, I was also aware that he was
making it quite clear that as far as he was concerned, we had moved past the
“just friends” stage.
I stood very still, not sure how to
proceed, willing my mind to catch up with my body. But before I could fully
recover, Gabriel flashed a white smile, opened the driver side door and slid
into the leather seat, “I had a good time tonight. You’re family is nice. I’ll
see you at school tomorrow.”
“Yeah, see ya tomorrow.” The words were
practically inaudible as he pulled away. Suddenly I became aware that I was
shivering and wasn’t sure whether to attribute it to the weather or the kiss. I
hugged myself tightly with a ridiculous grin pasted to my face and ran inside
to tell Sabrina all about it.
As the next few weeks passed, Gabriel made
a habit of stopping by my house after work at least once or twice a week. Every
time he pulled into my dirt lane, I was surprised. I just couldn’t believe that
he was interested in me.
We would laugh and talk in my tiny bedroom,
with the door open of course, following Grandma’s rules. We developed a
friendship as we shared personal stories of our childhoods, sharing dreams,
disappointments, and hopes for the future.
Each night would end with me walking
Gabriel out to his car where we would hold each other tightly and share many
sweet, lingering kisses.
At school things were still another matter.
I made a point to act more relaxed and open with him around our peers, but no
matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t allow my guard down enough to treat
him in the same way as I did when he visited my home. I wasn’t sure why this
was. I only knew that I would unfailingly put on a reserved front toward him
whenever we were in a social setting.
Gabriel recognized my inconsistent
behavior, but never pressured me to act otherwise or force the issue. He was
clearly allowing
and headed out into the cool, damp evening.
It had been raining throughout the day, so
the air smelled deliciously clean and crisp when we stepped outside. I was
careful as I trudged down the rickety wood steps because as Grandma would say,
they were “slicker than snot” after it rained.
Instead of opening his car door, Gabriel
turned around and leaned against it, “Just so you know, Roshell, I have
purposely given you space because you haven’t been exactly friendly at school
this past week. You just kind of clammed up on me.”
I felt slightly abashed, knowing that he
was right and I had put all the blame on him earlier. “I know, I just… I
thought that maybe you wouldn’t want me to talk to you at school.”
Gabriel grinned, when I got flustered and
shy. “Of course I want you to talk to me at school, or anywhere for that
matter.”
I was nervously fidgeting with the zipper
on my hooded sweatshirt and once I realized it, I stopped and looked him in the
eye. “Okay, friends?”
Gabriel’s smile faded and he straightened
his lazy posture. “Friends? No. I don’t think so.” With that he pulled me in
quickly and laid one on me before I could respond.
This kiss was not like the others. It was
fast and intense so that when he stepped back, I was practically dizzy from it.
He had taken me under to the point where I could barely think and then just as
quickly resurfaced, leaving me floundering, off guard.
I didn’t know if the kiss had affected him
as strongly but I was acutely aware of the fact that he was constantly gauging
my reaction and tempering his own actions to fit my needs. It felt as though we
were always engaged in a delicate dance, bending, pulling back and then leaning
into the other as we learned about the needs and desires flowing between. His
consistently respectful attempt to give me security and safety in our interactions
gave me a rare sense of being treasured.
Still, I felt vulnerable and a little
nervous because of my past experiences. I appreciated his recognition of my
need to proceed cautiously. In the same token, I was also aware that he was
making it quite clear that as far as he was concerned, we had moved past the
“just friends” stage.
I stood very still, not sure how to
proceed, willing my mind to catch up with my body. But before I could fully
recover, Gabriel flashed a white smile, opened the driver side door and slid
into the leather seat, “I had a good time tonight. You’re family is nice. I’ll
see you at school tomorrow.”
“Yeah, see ya tomorrow.” The words were
practically inaudible as he pulled away. Suddenly I became aware that I was
shivering and wasn’t sure whether to attribute it to the weather or the kiss. I
hugged myself tightly with a ridiculous grin pasted to my face and ran inside
to tell Sabrina all about it.
As the next few weeks passed, Gabriel made
a habit of stopping by my house after work at least once or twice a week. Every
time he pulled into my dirt lane, I was surprised. I just couldn’t believe that
he was interested in me.
We would laugh and talk in my tiny bedroom,
with the door open of course, following Grandma’s rules. We developed a
friendship as we shared personal stories of our childhoods, sharing dreams,
disappointments, and hopes for the future.
Each night would end with me walking
Gabriel out to his car where we would hold each other tightly and share many
sweet, lingering kisses.
At school things were still another matter.
I made a point to act more relaxed and open with him around our peers, but no
matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t allow my guard down enough to treat
him in the same way as I did when he visited my home. I wasn’t sure why this
was. I only knew that I would unfailingly put on a reserved front toward him
whenever we were in a social setting.
Gabriel recognized my inconsistent
behavior, but never pressured me to act otherwise or force the issue. He was
clearly allowing
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