Embracing Emma (Companion to Brisé) by Leigh Ann Lunsford Page B

respect for allowing me to share their home, provide for me, love me . . . after all this time I can’t forget I was discarded, undesired. The adoption wasn’t anything we ever discussed even though it is obvious and never hidden, but I want to know why me? What stood out in me that made them want me?
    “We’re your parents, damn it. Everything we do is for you. Why can’t you understand this? Why not University?”
    My eyes narrow, my fists ball, and my heart is pounding. Why can’t they leave it alone? “Because after the championship game I got in a fight. The coach from Georgia witnessed it and told me there wasn’t a place on his team for me.” Just as there wasn’t a place for me in my mom’s life and just like there isn’t a place in this life for me anymore. Everyone’s safety depends on me playing my cards right.
    “What happened?” Brett’s logical tone is making an appearance. “You aren’t one to lose your temper.”
    “It doesn’t matter what happened. I fucked up, and this is my penance.”
    “Language,” James chastises. “Mistakes happen but why didn’t you tell us? We could have helped.”
    “No. You couldn’t.” I was defending them, something I don’t regret, but I wish I had made different choices that lead to that moment. Different school, honesty as the taunts and comments started. I had one thing in mind all those years, giving my parents back what they gave me . . . security and integrity. They didn’t have to adopt me, they didn’t have to give me a life that was as ideal as an old sitcom, they didn’t have to support me. They chose to and that’s why I chose all those years to turn a blind eye to the bigots harassing their choices and me. I never wanted them to feel the shame of not being accepted like I’ve endured all these years. Even though they’ve showed me unconditional love and support, I’ve had my friends and most of the town look at me in disdain and disgust, reminding me I don’t belong because I’m an outsider, a foreigner and the child of gay parents. Small mindedness like that makes me happy to escape, except most of my hell is following me to school.
    “We’re proud of you, and if football is that important to you, we will stand behind you. I was just hoping you were going to be an hour away, not five.”
    “Four,” I correct James with a smirk.
    “Yeah, lead foot. I guess you’ll have money for speeding tickets.”
    “What do you mean?”
    “Your college fund is yours, William. However you want to spend it, but since you have a full ride you don’t have to worry. Save it, let Brett and Luke help you invest it. We will give you an allowance while you’re there. We just want you to focus on school and ball.”
    I nod and stand, stepping into their open arms, feeling dirty as I hug them, knowing I don’t deserve their support after every cruel word I didn’t defend, after every malicious reference I let go undefended. I’m ashamed and elated at the same time. They chose me and continue to make that choice, one I don’t understand and time and time again I feel I let them down.
    “So proud of you.” Both of them murmur their sentiments, and I feel I’ll never make them proud, if they knew the real reason I chose this college. They’d be disgusted by the path I put myself on, and that’s a chance I can’t risk. They can’t uncover the truth.

Chapter Thirteen
    Emma
     
     
    Prom is here, and I want every cliché moment, so I dragged Holly three towns over to buy condoms. She’s the only one I shared my plan with. I got no judgment from her. She knows we are in it for the long haul. Coaxing my parents, my dad especially, into letting me spend the night out took more finesse than I could muster. Nana came in and read him the riot act, reminding him it was William, and we’d spent many nights together. Granted, that had been before we were a couple, but she didn’t let that argument hold any weight with her son. She was living this