Egypt

Egypt by Nick Drake Page B

Book: Egypt by Nick Drake Read Free Book Online
Authors: Nick Drake
Tags: Mystery
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easy. It’s just a word. You’ve already made your mind up. So there’s no point in talking more,’ she said, and rose to walk away from me.
    I reached out and gripped her hand. She struggled to free herself, but I would not let her go.
    â€˜You’re hurting me,’ she said.
    â€˜Don’t just–walk away. Talk to me ,’ I said. I kissed her hand, hoping my feelings would show themselves in this way, when words failed me.
    â€˜I’m so frightened,’ she said, after a while. ‘Some days it feels as if the world is falling apart. And I don’t know how to hold it all together for us.’
    â€˜Everything will be fine,’ I answered, uselessly.
    â€˜What will I tell the children if you never return? What will I tell myself?’
    â€˜I will return, I promise you that,’ I said. ‘And then everything will change. Everything will get better again.’
    â€˜I know you would only do this if you thought you were doing the best for us all. But sometimes you get obsessed with an idea, and you forget about us. I would much rather have a living husband with no job and no gold than a dead one. I don’t care how much Nakht has offered, your life simply isn’t worth the risk. And I know it must be dangerous, because why else would you have to go?’
    â€˜I have no choice,’ I replied. It felt like the most honest thing I had said.
    â€˜You always have a choice,’ she insisted. ‘ Always . And you shouldn’t make decisions like this, not now, not when you’re grieving. I know you, my husband. You are being driven by rage and guilt. But Khety’s death was not your fault.’
    â€˜Yes it was.’
    She looked at me unflinchingly. ‘And so you put your rage and your revenge before your family?’
    She had spoken the truth. I felt the cold blade of guilt slip into my heart. I wanted to tell her I had changed my mind. But something else would not let me. I forced myself to keep going.
    â€˜I promise you I will return within three months. And then everything will be well.’
    She was silent for a long moment.
    â€˜When must you go?’ she asked, eventually, in a strange voice.
    â€˜Tomorrow morning,’ I replied.
    â€˜Tomorrow?’
    She was incredulous.
    â€˜We are your family . And you have chosen against us. I do not know how I will forgive you.’
    And she walked away into the house, leaving me in the dark. I threw the fig into the shadows.

Part Two

    This northern boundary is as far as that inverted water which goes downstream in going upstream…
    Tombos stele of Tutmosis I

12
    Ra rose above the dark horizon, and the Great River instantly caught the glory of the first light on its vast, shadowy surface, and glittered into splendid life.
    I stood on the ship’s deck and gazed out at Thebes, waking to another day of heat and work. I looked at the crowded docks; at the high temple walls, and the long, fluttering flags on their poles; at the districts of rich villas; and across the Great River at the Malkata Palace itself, where the Queen would be awake, and perhaps praying to Amun, God of Thebes, the Hidden One, for the success of our venture. I would not see my city again for many months. If we failed, then perhaps I would never return. Strangely, I found I no longer had strong feelings about that turn of events, or rather, I felt numb at the possibility of my own death. I thought of our hieroglyph for the word ‘expedition’: a kneeling man holding a bow, followed by the sign for a boat. I felt like that man, only my weapon was a dagger. I touched its handle; I would keep it tied across my chest at all times, in readiness.
    I looked down the elegant curve of the wooden gunwales that ran the long length of the ship. The Eye of Horus was painted boldly on either side of the prow, offering the protection of the God of the Sky, together with falcons on pedestals. Stylized plants

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