flurries of snow, reminding her that she was unloved and worthless. Slowly these thoughts started to take possession of her and as the depression began to eat into her brain, she shot a glance at the bathroom cabinet and the razor blades that were discreetly hidden inside.
The blade sliced into the turkey, allowing the clear juices to run free. Charlie, paper hat perched on her head, was in her element. She loved everything about Christmas. As soon as the leaves started to fall, Charlie’s excitement began to build. She was always very organized, buying all her presents in October, ordering the turkey in November, so that when December finally came she could enjoy every second of it. The drinks parties, the carol singers, wrapping up presents by the fire, cuddling up in front of a festive movie – it was the highlight of her year.
‘Can we open our presents yet?’
Charlie’s niece, Mimi. Impatient as ever.
‘Not until after Christmas lunch. You know the rules.’
‘But that’s ages .’
‘It’ll make it all the more exciting when it finally comes.’ Charlie wasn’t going to bend on this one – Christmas was all about idiosyncratic family rituals.
‘Who you kidding?’ Steve interjected. ‘You’re just delaying the inevitable anti-climax.’
‘Speak for yourself,’ said Charlie, cuffing her boyfriend, ‘I put a lot of effort into my Christmas shopping. If you don’t do the same, that’s your lookout.’
‘You’ll eat those words later. See if you don’t’ was Steve’s smug reply.
Charlie already knew what she was getting from Steve – lingerie. He’d been dropping hints for some time and besides their sex life was extremely active at the moment. More than anything else, Charlie wanted a baby. She felt it was her time – in truth it was the one present she really wanted. It hadn’t happened yet, even though they’d been trying for a while and for the first time Charlie’s anxiety had started to grow. What if there was something wrong with her? The thought of not having a family was awful – she’d always wanted two or three kids at least.
Still it was Christmas and not a time for unpleasant thoughts, so Charlie pushed her concerns to the back of her mind. It was Christmas Day, the best day of the year, so as she doled out the Christmas turkey, she beamed her biggest smile and did her best to spread as much Christmas cheer as she could.
Not long to wait now. Already Mark’s mood was starting to lift at the thought of seeing Elsie again. This year Christina had ceded Boxing Day to him – first thing tomorrow he’d be picking his little girl up for a fun-packed festive day. It had been a truly shitty year, but at least it was ending on a high. He had booked ice skating, cinema tickets, a table at Byron’s for cheeseburgers – it was going to be the mother of all blowouts.
The prospect of a day out with Elsie had just about managed to keep him upright through the last thirty-six hours. As usual he’d dropped his presents for her round at Christina’s house on Christmas Eve. Elsie wasn’t there – she’d gone to a Christingle service with her mum at the local church – so Stephen was home instead. He took the presents politely then asked Mark if he wanted to come in for a drink. Mark had wanted to punch his teeth in – how dare he play host in what used to be his home. What were they going to talk about? What Santa was going to bring them for Christmas? He didn’t know whether Stephen had done it on purpose – he looked genuine enough but perhaps he was a good actor – but Mark didn’t stick around to find out. When the red mist descended, Mark knew from experience that it was best to walk away. His blood had been boiling ever since and he’d more than once berated the hands on the clock for moving so slowly but … finally his time was coming. All good things come to those who wait.
Christmas was done for another year.
34
Marie lay on her bed, staring at the
The blade sliced into the turkey, allowing the clear juices to run free. Charlie, paper hat perched on her head, was in her element. She loved everything about Christmas. As soon as the leaves started to fall, Charlie’s excitement began to build. She was always very organized, buying all her presents in October, ordering the turkey in November, so that when December finally came she could enjoy every second of it. The drinks parties, the carol singers, wrapping up presents by the fire, cuddling up in front of a festive movie – it was the highlight of her year.
‘Can we open our presents yet?’
Charlie’s niece, Mimi. Impatient as ever.
‘Not until after Christmas lunch. You know the rules.’
‘But that’s ages .’
‘It’ll make it all the more exciting when it finally comes.’ Charlie wasn’t going to bend on this one – Christmas was all about idiosyncratic family rituals.
‘Who you kidding?’ Steve interjected. ‘You’re just delaying the inevitable anti-climax.’
‘Speak for yourself,’ said Charlie, cuffing her boyfriend, ‘I put a lot of effort into my Christmas shopping. If you don’t do the same, that’s your lookout.’
‘You’ll eat those words later. See if you don’t’ was Steve’s smug reply.
Charlie already knew what she was getting from Steve – lingerie. He’d been dropping hints for some time and besides their sex life was extremely active at the moment. More than anything else, Charlie wanted a baby. She felt it was her time – in truth it was the one present she really wanted. It hadn’t happened yet, even though they’d been trying for a while and for the first time Charlie’s anxiety had started to grow. What if there was something wrong with her? The thought of not having a family was awful – she’d always wanted two or three kids at least.
Still it was Christmas and not a time for unpleasant thoughts, so Charlie pushed her concerns to the back of her mind. It was Christmas Day, the best day of the year, so as she doled out the Christmas turkey, she beamed her biggest smile and did her best to spread as much Christmas cheer as she could.
Not long to wait now. Already Mark’s mood was starting to lift at the thought of seeing Elsie again. This year Christina had ceded Boxing Day to him – first thing tomorrow he’d be picking his little girl up for a fun-packed festive day. It had been a truly shitty year, but at least it was ending on a high. He had booked ice skating, cinema tickets, a table at Byron’s for cheeseburgers – it was going to be the mother of all blowouts.
The prospect of a day out with Elsie had just about managed to keep him upright through the last thirty-six hours. As usual he’d dropped his presents for her round at Christina’s house on Christmas Eve. Elsie wasn’t there – she’d gone to a Christingle service with her mum at the local church – so Stephen was home instead. He took the presents politely then asked Mark if he wanted to come in for a drink. Mark had wanted to punch his teeth in – how dare he play host in what used to be his home. What were they going to talk about? What Santa was going to bring them for Christmas? He didn’t know whether Stephen had done it on purpose – he looked genuine enough but perhaps he was a good actor – but Mark didn’t stick around to find out. When the red mist descended, Mark knew from experience that it was best to walk away. His blood had been boiling ever since and he’d more than once berated the hands on the clock for moving so slowly but … finally his time was coming. All good things come to those who wait.
Christmas was done for another year.
34
Marie lay on her bed, staring at the
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