Eden in Winter by Richard North Patterson Page B

myself, and what I’m doing.’
    ‘Sounds lonely,’ Charlie observed. ‘For both of you. It also suggests an anomaly. You can have protective feelings toward women – as with your mother and, perhaps, Carla Pacelli – but you can’t let them in. Ever wonder if your cover story as a spy isn’t a cover for something deeper?’
    ‘Meaning?’
    ‘Your career requires you to conceal who you are. That doesn’t lend itself to enduring relationships, and any slip-up carries the distinct possibility you’ll be killed.’ Charlie paused for emphasis. ‘To survive, you’re always changing identities and cover stories, keeping people at a distance. And you can abandon a woman before she abandons you.’
    Adam mustered a derisive smile. ‘Is that really what you think?’
    Charlie stared at him, letting their silence build. At length, he said, ‘I wonder if you realize how defensive you sound. And look.’
    Adam felt his own stillness. More quietly, he said, ‘Do I?’
    ‘What do you think?’ When Adam said nothing, Charlie added, evenly, ‘I’m not a Taliban interrogator, Adam, or trying to be some sort of demeaning authority figure. I’m on your side, and you and I are in this one together. Can you try to remember that?’
    ‘All right.’
    ‘Then bear with me. What I just said about abandonment has a certain logic. Even as a boy, you must have been longing for someone you could trust. But you don’t trust a soul, doyou?’ Charlie looked at him intently. ‘Tell me why you called Jenny “fragile”.’
    Adam crossed his arms. ‘What I knew about her then? Or learned later on?’
    ‘Let’s start with when you were together.’
    Adam tried to remember how he had felt. ‘She was very poetic and sensitive, I thought. But she had mood swings, was afraid of alcohol, and had to take medication. Her drunk of a father had bailed out on her, and her mother was weak and erratic. Even then, I sensed she was afraid of falling through a trapdoor.’
    ‘What did you think would become of her?’
    Adam felt his chest constrict. ‘That I’d love her, and take care of her. That someday we’d have a family. A better one than mine.’
    Charlie gave him a grave look. ‘So you thought you could rescue her? That she’d be devoted to you, and you to her?’
    ‘Something like that. I was young.’
    ‘When you left the island, you were twenty-three. I think something terrible happened that summer. Not just with Ben, but with Jenny.’
    Mute, Adam nodded.
    *
    Late that summer, Adam had driven to New York.
    His second year of law school would start in two weeks. In the spring, Adam had found a new apartment in Greenwich Village with two friends from his class; now he moved his stuff – P.C., television, C.D. player, winter coats and jackets – looking forward to another year in the city, on the way to his chosen career. His mission completed, he met up with Teddy and took in Village life.
    Teddy was living with a guy, and seemed to be pretty good – Adam had missed him, and was glad they could spend time beyond Ben’s shadow. But after a couple of days, he found himself looking forward to Jenny’s first visit to New York, and then thinking about her pretty much all the time. On impulse, he decided to return to the Vineyard, intent on spending his last free days with her. His life in the law would resume soon enough.
    He drove back in five unbroken hours, high on images of the time ahead. He loved the Vineyard and, he decided, loved Jenny Leigh. Whatever she struggled with, they would be okay.
    Driving fast, he caught the noontime ferry from Woods Hole to Vineyard Haven, then sped down State Road toward his parents’ place. His mother was gone, visiting a cousin. But if his father were not writing, he would share with him some stories of the Village, renewing a bond frayed by the racing season and Ben’s hatred of defeat. Then he would go find Jenny.
    The house was empty, including his father’s study. But Ben’s