the chance to explain herself. He also refused to be like his father. Phillip had stood by while his wife and daughters ostracized and made Richard feel less than worthy. In his book, Phillip was just as guilty of emotional abuse as the rest. No, he wouldn’t turn a blind eye while Ebony was taken advantage of. He ran his hands over his freshly cut hair. He couldn’t help her if he lost control. He took several deep breaths, releasing them slowly until he felt calm enough to continue.
“You can’t save someone who refuses to be saved.”
“I know,” she whispered. “I can’t ignore what’s happening on our streets. I can’t pretend that Trae isn’t causing misery. But it’s my fault. I can’t desert him.”
Confused, he asked, “Your fault?”
Tears streamed down her face. “He started selling drugs so we would have more money. I knew he was a card shark, but…” She wiped her face. “He wanted me to have everything. He didn’t think hustling at cards brought in enough. I didn’t find out about the drugs until Crystal came along.”
“You can’t blame yourself for his choices. You can’t keep punishing yourself for the bad decisions he’s still making. You can’t atone for his sins.”
“I keep telling myself the same thing, but my heart doesn’t listen.” She laughed nervously. “How can my heart hear over the noise of destruction in our streets?”
“Then you need to move your heart away from the noise,” he whispered. “You have to move out of the neighborhood.”
Thinking he was pushing too hard and she would quit listening, he quickly added, “I’m not saying to totally cut Trae and Skeet off from Crystal. She would be devastated, but you have to minimize exposure to that environment.” He thought about the way Crystal always ran around the house. “She can’t even go outside and play, Ebony.” Before he moved in with his grandfather, his mother used to make him stay in the house while the girls played under the shade of the trees. He felt trapped, and he lived in a mansion, not a small flat.
Childhood memories beat at his subconscious—fought for recognition. Stephanie never said it, but he always knew she was ashamed of him. It was as if she didn’t want people to know he existed. He stopped his train of thought. The past was the past and couldn’t hurt him. Ebony was the here and now, his love, his angel. He had to save her.
She remained silent.
“I’ll help you find a place.”
Sitting up, she asked, “And how do I pay for this place? Hit Trae up for some drug money, or maybe beg Dan for a handout. I’m not a charity case. I’m a full-time student. The grant money I have after I pay for tuition and books I give to Mom for rent. I earn about $200 a week braiding hair, Crystal’s tuition is $400 a month. With the rest I have to clothe, feed and pay for anything else that comes up.”
“I saw you accept money from Trae.”
“Yes I accepted Trae’s money,” she snapped. “How did you think Meechie would pay for rehab? Trae doesn’t offer medical benefits. I use Trae’s drug money to repair some of the damage he causes. I don’t want his dirty money or charity. Everything me and my child have,” she pointed a multi-ringed finger at herself, “I paid for with money I earned, or Mom or Dan gave as a gift.”
“You’re splitting hairs, Ebony.”
“And your point?”
“I know you’re using the money for a good cause. I truly admire what you’re trying to do, but you’re going about it the wrong way. By accepting tainted money, you become tainted.”
“What do the police do with drug money they seize? Why do they sell the property of drug dealers? What do they do with the money?”
He had no idea. “That’s totally different, Ebony. It’s their job.”
“Oh, so I shouldn’t help people because it isn’t my job ?”
“You know that’s not what I mean.”
“Using your philosophy, aren’t the police just as tainted? I know of at least
“You can’t save someone who refuses to be saved.”
“I know,” she whispered. “I can’t ignore what’s happening on our streets. I can’t pretend that Trae isn’t causing misery. But it’s my fault. I can’t desert him.”
Confused, he asked, “Your fault?”
Tears streamed down her face. “He started selling drugs so we would have more money. I knew he was a card shark, but…” She wiped her face. “He wanted me to have everything. He didn’t think hustling at cards brought in enough. I didn’t find out about the drugs until Crystal came along.”
“You can’t blame yourself for his choices. You can’t keep punishing yourself for the bad decisions he’s still making. You can’t atone for his sins.”
“I keep telling myself the same thing, but my heart doesn’t listen.” She laughed nervously. “How can my heart hear over the noise of destruction in our streets?”
“Then you need to move your heart away from the noise,” he whispered. “You have to move out of the neighborhood.”
Thinking he was pushing too hard and she would quit listening, he quickly added, “I’m not saying to totally cut Trae and Skeet off from Crystal. She would be devastated, but you have to minimize exposure to that environment.” He thought about the way Crystal always ran around the house. “She can’t even go outside and play, Ebony.” Before he moved in with his grandfather, his mother used to make him stay in the house while the girls played under the shade of the trees. He felt trapped, and he lived in a mansion, not a small flat.
Childhood memories beat at his subconscious—fought for recognition. Stephanie never said it, but he always knew she was ashamed of him. It was as if she didn’t want people to know he existed. He stopped his train of thought. The past was the past and couldn’t hurt him. Ebony was the here and now, his love, his angel. He had to save her.
She remained silent.
“I’ll help you find a place.”
Sitting up, she asked, “And how do I pay for this place? Hit Trae up for some drug money, or maybe beg Dan for a handout. I’m not a charity case. I’m a full-time student. The grant money I have after I pay for tuition and books I give to Mom for rent. I earn about $200 a week braiding hair, Crystal’s tuition is $400 a month. With the rest I have to clothe, feed and pay for anything else that comes up.”
“I saw you accept money from Trae.”
“Yes I accepted Trae’s money,” she snapped. “How did you think Meechie would pay for rehab? Trae doesn’t offer medical benefits. I use Trae’s drug money to repair some of the damage he causes. I don’t want his dirty money or charity. Everything me and my child have,” she pointed a multi-ringed finger at herself, “I paid for with money I earned, or Mom or Dan gave as a gift.”
“You’re splitting hairs, Ebony.”
“And your point?”
“I know you’re using the money for a good cause. I truly admire what you’re trying to do, but you’re going about it the wrong way. By accepting tainted money, you become tainted.”
“What do the police do with drug money they seize? Why do they sell the property of drug dealers? What do they do with the money?”
He had no idea. “That’s totally different, Ebony. It’s their job.”
“Oh, so I shouldn’t help people because it isn’t my job ?”
“You know that’s not what I mean.”
“Using your philosophy, aren’t the police just as tainted? I know of at least
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