Easily Amused by Karen McQuestion Page A

to stop at Mike’s office today to drop something off. Just a minute.” She put the phone down. “No, no, honey. Not in the mouth.” I heard the sounds of a skirmish and then Brandon’s wail.
    Across the room, Mrs. Kinkaid waved to get my attention and held up some change. She pointed to the door to indicate she was going out to the vending machine and mouthed, “Do you want anything?”
    I shook my head.
    Piper returned to the phone. “Here, have a graham cracker.” I assumed she meant Brandon, not me. “OK, I’m back.”
    “I can talk now,” I said. “Mrs. Kinkaid went for a candy bar.”
    “Good, and Brandon should be fine for a bit. Boy, has he been a stinker lately.” She exhaled loudly. “So where were we? Oh, I remember. So, I’m at Mike’s office waiting for him to be done with a client, and who walks into the reception area but this absolutely gorgeous guy. Tall, with dark wavy hair, and brown eyes you could drown in. I’m talking handsome, but not in a pretty-boy way, you know what I mean? And he was dressed smart casual. Not everybody can pull that off. So, I’m waiting and this guy sits down because he has an appointment to meet with Mike’s partner and he’s a little early and we start talking. And man, is he easy to talk to—charming and personable like you wouldn’t believe.”
    I had a sudden funny feeling. I hoped this wasn’t heading where it seemed to be heading.
    “Before long, Ryan and I—that’s his name, Ryan—are talking like old friends. He thought Brandon was really adorable, so I knew he was smart.” She laughed. “And get this: I told him about Mindy and the wedding and the cake and everything, and he’s totally on board for playing your fiancé.”
    “Oh, Piper,” I said. “No. Please tell me you’re kidding.”
    “Nope, I’m not kidding.” She sounded downright gleeful.
    “This is unbelievable.”
    “Oh, you better believe it.” She was just winding up now. “And it gets better. This guy is loaded. He’s a consultant for an international company and travels all over the world. And here’s the topper—he lives right in your neighborhood, so you can tell everyone that’s how you met.”
    My stomach lurched as if I were in the front seat of a roller coaster after it just made a sudden drop. “Piper, that plan was just talk. Like when we used to dream about hitchhiking to California and becoming movie stars? We both knew we were never going to go to Los Angeles. Planning it was as far as it was going to go.” How could she have thought I’d actually go through with this? It was like some cheesy movie of the week. “I can’t believe you asked some guy to do this.”
    “Lola, I know you’re not that adventurous, but just let me finish. This guy is so cool, and he was totally sympathetic to your situation.”
    “He probably thinks I’m the biggest loser in the world. I’m embarrassed to even think about it.”
    “No, no, no,” she said. “He understands. It turns out he has this older brother who started his own software company and is now a bajillionaire and owns his own jet. His parents think this brother is the second coming. No matter what Ryan does, he doesn’t measure up. Trust me, he feels your pain.”
    I did have pain, that was true enough. In fact, it was worse now that I was having this conversation. “I can’t go through with it,” I said. “You need to talk to him, Piper, and call the whole thing off.”
    “What would you have me tell him?”
    “Tell him it was a joke. Or say that you’re delusional and don’t actually have a friend. I don’t care what you tell him, just make it go away.”
    “So you’re OK with Mindy making a fool out of you at her wedding? You’re fine with that now?”
    “Of course not,” I said. “But there has to be another way around it.” I tried to think of a solution that didn’t require subterfuge. “You know what? I’ll just talk to my parents and explain my feelings. I’ll have them