home!
Our communication wasn’t verbal, but a complete melding of mutual comprehension. It wasn’t just that I understood my father—it was as though I became him. I was aware that he’d been with my entire family all through the years after he’d passed. He’d been with my mother, supporting her and watching over her; and he’d also been with me through my wedding and my illness.
I became aware that the essence of my father was communicating with me more directly: Sweetheart, I want you to know that it’s not your time to come home yet. But it’s still your choice whether you want to come with me or go back into your body.
But my body is so sick, drained, and ridden with cancer! was the immediate thought that came flooding through me. Why would I want to go back to that body? It has caused nothing but suffering—not only for me, but for Mum and Danny, too! I can’t see any purpose in going back.
Not to mention that the state of unconditional love was just so blissful, I couldn’t bear the thought of returning. I wanted to stay where I was forever and ever.
What subsequently happened is incredibly hard to describe. First, it felt as though whatever I directed my awareness toward appeared before me. Second, time was completely irrelevant. It wasn’t even a factor to consider, as though it didn’t exist.
Prior to this point, doctors had conducted tests on the functioning of my organs, and their report had already been written. But in that realm, it seemed as though the outcome of those tests and the report depended on the decision I had yet to make—whether to live or continue onward into death. If I chose death, the test results would indicate organ failure. If I chose to come back into physical life, they’d show my organs beginning to function again.
At that moment, I decided that I didn’t want to return. I then became conscious of my physical body dying, and I saw the doctors speaking with my family, explaining that it was death due to organ failure.
At the same time, my father communicated with me, This is as far as you can go, sweetheart. If you go any further, you cannot turn back.
I became aware of a boundary before me, although the demarcation wasn’t physical. It was more like an invisible threshold marked by a variation in energy levels. I knew that if I crossed it, there was no turning back. All my ties with the physical would be permanently severed; and as I’d seen, my family would be told that my death was the result of organ failure caused by end-stage lymphoma.
The unconditional love and acceptance was incredible, and I wanted to cross the threshold in order to continue to experience it for eternity. It was as though I was enveloped in the oneness, the pure essence of every living being and creature, without their aches, pains, dramas, and egos.
I turned my awareness toward my distraught family’s reaction to the news of my death. I saw Danny’s head buried in my lifeless chest, holding my frail hand. His body was shaking with deep and inconsolable sobs. My mother stood over me, looking white as a sheet in disbelief. And my brother, Anoop, arrived to the shock that he didn’t make it in time.
Before I became sucked into what was going on with my physical existence and my family, however, I found myself being drawn away from my emotions. Once again, I was surrounded by the reassuring feeling of a greater story unfolding. I knew that even if I chose not to go back, everything was exactly as it should be in the grand tapestry of life.
I N THE MOMENT THAT I MADE THE DECISION TO GO on toward death, I became aware of a new level of truth.
I discovered that since I’d realized who I really was and understood the magnificence of my true self, if I chose to go back to life, my body would heal rapidly—not in months or weeks, but in days! I knew that the doctors wouldn’t be able to find a trace of cancer if I chose to go back into my body!
How can that be? I was astounded by this
Our communication wasn’t verbal, but a complete melding of mutual comprehension. It wasn’t just that I understood my father—it was as though I became him. I was aware that he’d been with my entire family all through the years after he’d passed. He’d been with my mother, supporting her and watching over her; and he’d also been with me through my wedding and my illness.
I became aware that the essence of my father was communicating with me more directly: Sweetheart, I want you to know that it’s not your time to come home yet. But it’s still your choice whether you want to come with me or go back into your body.
But my body is so sick, drained, and ridden with cancer! was the immediate thought that came flooding through me. Why would I want to go back to that body? It has caused nothing but suffering—not only for me, but for Mum and Danny, too! I can’t see any purpose in going back.
Not to mention that the state of unconditional love was just so blissful, I couldn’t bear the thought of returning. I wanted to stay where I was forever and ever.
What subsequently happened is incredibly hard to describe. First, it felt as though whatever I directed my awareness toward appeared before me. Second, time was completely irrelevant. It wasn’t even a factor to consider, as though it didn’t exist.
Prior to this point, doctors had conducted tests on the functioning of my organs, and their report had already been written. But in that realm, it seemed as though the outcome of those tests and the report depended on the decision I had yet to make—whether to live or continue onward into death. If I chose death, the test results would indicate organ failure. If I chose to come back into physical life, they’d show my organs beginning to function again.
At that moment, I decided that I didn’t want to return. I then became conscious of my physical body dying, and I saw the doctors speaking with my family, explaining that it was death due to organ failure.
At the same time, my father communicated with me, This is as far as you can go, sweetheart. If you go any further, you cannot turn back.
I became aware of a boundary before me, although the demarcation wasn’t physical. It was more like an invisible threshold marked by a variation in energy levels. I knew that if I crossed it, there was no turning back. All my ties with the physical would be permanently severed; and as I’d seen, my family would be told that my death was the result of organ failure caused by end-stage lymphoma.
The unconditional love and acceptance was incredible, and I wanted to cross the threshold in order to continue to experience it for eternity. It was as though I was enveloped in the oneness, the pure essence of every living being and creature, without their aches, pains, dramas, and egos.
I turned my awareness toward my distraught family’s reaction to the news of my death. I saw Danny’s head buried in my lifeless chest, holding my frail hand. His body was shaking with deep and inconsolable sobs. My mother stood over me, looking white as a sheet in disbelief. And my brother, Anoop, arrived to the shock that he didn’t make it in time.
Before I became sucked into what was going on with my physical existence and my family, however, I found myself being drawn away from my emotions. Once again, I was surrounded by the reassuring feeling of a greater story unfolding. I knew that even if I chose not to go back, everything was exactly as it should be in the grand tapestry of life.
I N THE MOMENT THAT I MADE THE DECISION TO GO on toward death, I became aware of a new level of truth.
I discovered that since I’d realized who I really was and understood the magnificence of my true self, if I chose to go back to life, my body would heal rapidly—not in months or weeks, but in days! I knew that the doctors wouldn’t be able to find a trace of cancer if I chose to go back into my body!
How can that be? I was astounded by this
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