judgment. Judges 4.4-5
One day she summoned Barak and told him to take 10,000 soldiers to fight Sisera.
She sent and called Barak … and said unto him … the LORD God of Israel commanded, saying … take with thee ten thousand men … to … Sisera, the captain of Jabin’s army, with his chariots and his multitude; and I will deliver him into thine hand. 4.6-7
Barak, who was a bit of a chicken shit, said:
If thou wilt go with me, then I will go: but if thou wilt not go with me, then I will not go. 4.8
Deborah said that she would go with him and that God would deliver Sisera into the hands of a woman.
She said, I will surely go with thee … for the LORD shall sell Sisera into the hand of a woman. And Deborah arose, and went with Barak. 4.9
So Deborah and Barak go off to fight in God’s holy war. Guess what happens.
The LORD discomfited Sisera, and all his chariots, and all his host, with the edge of the sword ... and all the host of Sisera fell upon the edge of the sword; and there was not a man left. 4.15-16
That’s right. God confused Sisera’s army, forcing them to either kill each other or kill themselves. No one survived.
Except Sisera, that is. Somehow he got away. Don’t worry, though. God will take care of him in his next killing.
(Since the Bible doesn’t say how many were killed, I gave it the usual 1000.)
47. Jael pounds a tent stake through a sleeping man’s skull
Judges 4.21
Number Killed: 1
Sisera
In God’s last killing ( 46 ), God “discomfited” the Canaanite army, causing them all to be killed. (It’s not clear how God did this, but he probably forced them to kill each other. He likes doing stuff like that.)
But Sisera, the captain of the Canaanite army, somehow managed to escape. And that night he passed by Heber’s tent (Heber was an ally of the Canaanites), which is where Jael enters the story.
Jael was Heber’s wife and she came out to greet Sisera, inviting him to stay the night in their tent. She prepared a bed for him, gave him a bottle of milk, and tucked him in for the night.
Jael went out to meet Sisera, and said unto him, Turn in, my lord, turn in to me; fear not. And when he had turned in unto her into the tent, she covered him with a mantle. And he said unto her, Give me, I pray thee, a little water to drink; for I am thirsty. And she opened a bottle of milk, and gave him drink, and covered him. Judges 4.18-19
Then, after he was asleep, she drove a tent stake through his head.
Then Jael Heber’s wife took a nail of the tent, and took an hammer in her hand, and went softly unto him, and smote the nail into his temples, and fastened it into the ground: for he was fast asleep and weary. So he died. 4.21
OK, so what, you say. Why blame this killing on God?
Because God blamed it on himself. Deborah, who was a prophetess, said the killing would take place, and that God would take an active part.
The LORD shall sell Sisera into the hand of a woman. 4.9
After the killing Deborah even wrote a little song about Jael and her blessed hammer.
Blessed above women shall Jael the wife of Heber the Kenite be,
blessed shall she be above women.
He asked water, and she gave him milk;
she brought forth butter in a lordly dish.
She put her hand to the nail,
and her right hand to the workmen’s hammer;
and with the hammer she smote Sisera, she smote off his head,
when she had pierced and stricken through his temples. 5.24-26
So there you have it. Jael is the most blessed of all women. I think there’s even a well-known prayer about it. It goes like this:
Hail Jael, full of grace. The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women....
Or maybe I’m confusing it with another prayer.
48. Gideon's story: The Lord set every man’s sword against his fellow
Judges 7.22-25, 8.10
Number Killed: 120,000
Oreb, Zeeb, Zebah, and Zalmunna and Midianite soldiers
Here’s a story about Gideon. You know, they guy they named the hotel room Bible after.
It starts out in the usual
One day she summoned Barak and told him to take 10,000 soldiers to fight Sisera.
She sent and called Barak … and said unto him … the LORD God of Israel commanded, saying … take with thee ten thousand men … to … Sisera, the captain of Jabin’s army, with his chariots and his multitude; and I will deliver him into thine hand. 4.6-7
Barak, who was a bit of a chicken shit, said:
If thou wilt go with me, then I will go: but if thou wilt not go with me, then I will not go. 4.8
Deborah said that she would go with him and that God would deliver Sisera into the hands of a woman.
She said, I will surely go with thee … for the LORD shall sell Sisera into the hand of a woman. And Deborah arose, and went with Barak. 4.9
So Deborah and Barak go off to fight in God’s holy war. Guess what happens.
The LORD discomfited Sisera, and all his chariots, and all his host, with the edge of the sword ... and all the host of Sisera fell upon the edge of the sword; and there was not a man left. 4.15-16
That’s right. God confused Sisera’s army, forcing them to either kill each other or kill themselves. No one survived.
Except Sisera, that is. Somehow he got away. Don’t worry, though. God will take care of him in his next killing.
(Since the Bible doesn’t say how many were killed, I gave it the usual 1000.)
47. Jael pounds a tent stake through a sleeping man’s skull
Judges 4.21
Number Killed: 1
Sisera
In God’s last killing ( 46 ), God “discomfited” the Canaanite army, causing them all to be killed. (It’s not clear how God did this, but he probably forced them to kill each other. He likes doing stuff like that.)
But Sisera, the captain of the Canaanite army, somehow managed to escape. And that night he passed by Heber’s tent (Heber was an ally of the Canaanites), which is where Jael enters the story.
Jael was Heber’s wife and she came out to greet Sisera, inviting him to stay the night in their tent. She prepared a bed for him, gave him a bottle of milk, and tucked him in for the night.
Jael went out to meet Sisera, and said unto him, Turn in, my lord, turn in to me; fear not. And when he had turned in unto her into the tent, she covered him with a mantle. And he said unto her, Give me, I pray thee, a little water to drink; for I am thirsty. And she opened a bottle of milk, and gave him drink, and covered him. Judges 4.18-19
Then, after he was asleep, she drove a tent stake through his head.
Then Jael Heber’s wife took a nail of the tent, and took an hammer in her hand, and went softly unto him, and smote the nail into his temples, and fastened it into the ground: for he was fast asleep and weary. So he died. 4.21
OK, so what, you say. Why blame this killing on God?
Because God blamed it on himself. Deborah, who was a prophetess, said the killing would take place, and that God would take an active part.
The LORD shall sell Sisera into the hand of a woman. 4.9
After the killing Deborah even wrote a little song about Jael and her blessed hammer.
Blessed above women shall Jael the wife of Heber the Kenite be,
blessed shall she be above women.
He asked water, and she gave him milk;
she brought forth butter in a lordly dish.
She put her hand to the nail,
and her right hand to the workmen’s hammer;
and with the hammer she smote Sisera, she smote off his head,
when she had pierced and stricken through his temples. 5.24-26
So there you have it. Jael is the most blessed of all women. I think there’s even a well-known prayer about it. It goes like this:
Hail Jael, full of grace. The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women....
Or maybe I’m confusing it with another prayer.
48. Gideon's story: The Lord set every man’s sword against his fellow
Judges 7.22-25, 8.10
Number Killed: 120,000
Oreb, Zeeb, Zebah, and Zalmunna and Midianite soldiers
Here’s a story about Gideon. You know, they guy they named the hotel room Bible after.
It starts out in the usual
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