Dragonfly Song by Wendy Orr Page B

helpless,
    but Milli-Cat cares for them
    as if they were jewels,
    licking and cleaning,
    nuzzling them to her side
    so they all get her milk,
    though the smallest, white like Milli –
    is always the last to drink.
    Milli-Cat goes out to hunt
    early in the night
    when Aissa is settling into sleep
    and watching the kittens.
    Not touching
    in case Milli doesn’t want it,
    but watching,
    learning them
    and watching Milli-Cat love them
    she learns to love too.
    The runty white one
    is not Milli’s favourite
    she saves her nuzzling for the strong
    who drink hard
    and grow fast.
    But Aissa wonders
    if the unloved kitten
    would be just as strong
    if it were loved.
    She wants to see it grow
    and is afraid
    when a new guest comes.
    Every home
    needs a house snake to bless it,
    the goddess’s pet,
    accepting bowls of milk
    and family prayers.
    Aissa’s home is not a house,
    just a rock she slithers under
    as if she were a snake herself
    so she is glad for the blessing
    but afraid
    because she has no milk to offer.
    The snake is thin,
    twice as long as the Lady’s vipers
    but not so deadly.
    Aissa brings him
    crickets and lizards,
    hoping he doesn’t
    want something bigger.
    She wishes that Milli-Cat
    would offer a mouse
    but the cat doesn’t know
    they must pay
    for the snake’s blessing.
    The kittens grow, day by day
    so every night,
    Aissa sees them stronger,
    eyes opening,
    trying to walk
    till her heart beats
    with strong proud joy.
    Late on a hot, full-moon night
    townfolk and Hall are in the square
    singing sad farewell to dying flowers
    and welcoming
    the fruits to come.
    Aissa watching from the shadows;
    there is food to steal
    as the night grows dark
    so it’s late when she slithers
    under her rock
    up and across
    and down to her cave
    like every other night.
    But this night
    Milli-Cat is gone.
    No purring headbutt greets her
    though she can hear
    the soft breathing of kitten sleep
    and can feel in the darkness
    furry bodies snuggled
    in their nest of bark –
    but only five,
    no matter how she counts them.
    The runty kitten
    that Aissa loves
    is gone.
    Her heart tightens with pain,
    as if a hugging boa
    is squeezing her chest;
    she searches the cave
    hoping the runt has tumbled
    on staggery legs
    away from the others
    because every day
    the kittens walk a bit more.
    Patting dark corners,
    searching warm fur,
    until she touches
    in the furthest gap
    where the rock slopes to the ground,
    the solid smooth flesh,
    cool in the night,
    of a sleeping
    well-fed snake.
    Lifting its head
    in a shaft of moonlight
    the snake’s eyes
    look into Aissa’s,
    straight from the goddess
    down to her soul .
    The moonlight moves;
    the spell is broken.
    There’s only the pain
    that the kitten is gone
    and rage
    because it never had a chance
    at life
    simply because
    it wasn’t loved.
    Wanting to choke the snake
    make it cough up its kitten dinner –
    the snake may be the goddess’s pet
    but Milli-Cat’s runt was hers
    and she screams inside,
    I hate you, hate you, hate you!
    till rage is swallowed by fear
    because Milli-Cat is missing too
    and what if
    she’s not out hunting
    but inside the snake with her baby?
    Heart twisting,
    stomach churning,
    tears dripping –
    not for her,
    not like the day she wailed on the mountain
    but for the runty kitten
    and her Milli-Cat friend
    and the other babies
    who will die
    without their mother’s care
    because Aissa can love them
    but they need milk.
    ‘There’s milk in the kitchens,’
    says the voice in her head.
    ‘The Lady can order it –
    the kittens are hers.’
    Heart clenching tighter –
    maybe some of
    the tears were for her –
    Aissa makes the picture in her mind:
    taking kittens
    from cave to Hall
    while the Lady is at table
    because if soft-hearted Fila
    sees the kittens
    they will be cared for.
    And that’s more important
    than Aissa being alone
    again.
    The picture doesn’t stop her sobs
    but it unwinds her heart
    soothing her to sleep,
    until she feels
    a warm nose