use for my birthday for a change. Like a pair of socks, or a new jacket. I never in my life smoked any pipe except the one your mother gave me thirty years ago. Louise should know that by now.â
And finally we all pile into the car and make the trek to Hamilton, where Aunt Louise lives in her big modern house with her husband, Edward, the executive, and their perfect daughter, Allison. Just the way we had today.
When we first got there, Aunt Louise fussed about my black eye as if it was something awful. Then we sat uncomfortably around the living room while she told us all about the cute, smart things Allison had done. We all smiled politely, except Gramps, who pretended to be deaf and just sat there frowning. He thought Allison was a pain, too.
After a while Aunt Louise told Allison to get the present she had made for Gramps. She ran off to her room, flouncing white petticoats as she went, and came back with a package that looked as if it had been wrapped for the queen of England. It had gold paper and a gold-and-silver bow as big as a grapefruit. Gramps thanked her more politely than I expected.
âNow be careful and untie that from the back, Father,â Aunt Louise said in her whiny voice. âSo you can save the bow. I bought it for you specially at Cuthbertâs.â Cuthbertâs is a big store in town that has really expensive stuff nobody really needs. I guessed Aunt Louise thought that would impress us.
Gramps muttered something under his breath and turned the package over so he could untie it from the back. The knots were all under the bow on top, though. After a minute Aunt Louise said, âHere, let me help you,â and grabbed it away from him. When she handed it back to him she kept the ribbon and bow.
Gramps tore off the gold paper and Aunt Louise winced. I could tell she thought he should save that, too. Inside was something that looked like a white pancake that had been folded up around a tuna fish can. Gramps stared at it a minute, trying to figure out what to say.
âItâs an ashtray, Father,â Aunt Louise said, beaming. âAllison made it for you all by herself in her pottery class. Isnât that sweet?â
Gramps looked up, and I think he would have actually thanked Allison, but even she knew what a stupid present it was, and she had gone in the other room to help herself to the ice cream.
âSweet,â Gramps said at last, setting the thing on the coffee table beside him.
Aunt Louise gave Gramps a little package with another big fancy bow on, it and said, âHappy Birthday, Father. Edward picked this out for you. I know youâre going to love it.â
Gramps muttered under his breath while he tried to untie the ribbon. He finally gave up and shredded the paper out from under it, letting the bright blue scraps fall to the floor. Nobody said anything when he eased the present out of the loops of ribbon.
It was a pipe, of course. Aunt Louise always gives him a pipe. He rubbed his thumb along the bowl of it, which was carved like an old manâs face, and stared over at my mother, his look saying I told you so louder than any words could.
Finally, he stuck it in the pocket of his vest and stood up. âIf I was ever looking to buy a pipe, Iâd be sure to see Ed first.â
âEdward,â Aunt Louise corrected automatically. She took his comment to be a high compliment. I saw Mother bite her lip to keep from saying anything.
âLooked to me as if your yard could use a trim,â Gramps said. âGuess Iâll take a look-see.â
âDonât you want a piece of the cake I baked?â protested Aunt Louise.
âNope.â The screen door slammed behind him, filtering the rest of his words. â. . . poison. Got to keep fit.â
Aunt Louise looked from Mother to Jessie to me and back to Mother. âI honestly donât know how you put up with him, Katherine. Heâs completely impossible. Now he
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