silence between us.
He turned me to face him.
"Abigail, you know how I feel about you, right?” His eyes were desperate.
"I think so.” I was caught off guard, and I didn't expect to hear him blurt that out so fast.
"Ya think so, lass?” he laughed under his breath, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Colin, I told you about Nick, I told you everything."
He held his fingers to my lips to quiet me.
"I thought I could do this, this friend thing, waiting in the wings. I'm not so sure of myself anymore. I don't think I can do this. I guess I thought your bloke would have shown his true colors by now."
I pulled away.
"I want you, Abigail, and only you. I can't even explain it to myself. I just know that I want you in my life.” He paused, as if trying to read my expression. “I know you think you have this great guy, but he's not right for you. It won't last, trust me. You'll just be another notch on his bed post."
"That's not true,” I snapped.
"Don't be so naive. He's just fooling with your head. He only wants one thing from you."
"How do you know?"
"I'm a guy, Abigail. Trust me. He's just trying to get you into bed."
"Well, is that all you want from me, too?"
"No, don't get me wrong. It would be grand, but I can wait."
I wanted to hold him, wrap myself around him as tightly as I could, tell him I wanted him as much as he wanted me. It was my head, not my heart warning me. I closed my eyes briefly before speaking.
"Really, and what do I mean to you? Considering you live halfway around the world, Colin. After the summer, then what? You want me to give you my heart just to take it back with you to Ireland. How fair is that?” I heard myself yelling, as I looked up at him with tears streaming down my face.
He took his hand and gently brushed them away. I turned my head, because I couldn't look at his face. I didn't know what he was thinking. He forced me to look back into his eyes. His expression was heart-rending, as he continued to stare.
"You're right. I can't ask that of you. I was wrong. I don't know what I was thinking. I don't want to hurt you like that. I guess I never really thought about it.” He grabbed my hand, and laced our fingers together. “I would never hurt you, Abigail.” He turned to me, gently kissing my forehead.
I was so confused. “We barely know each other, how can your feelings be so strong already?"
"Abby, I never wanted anyone as much as I want you. Sure, I've been with plenty of women. No one ever meant anything to me. I wasn't even sure if anyone ever would, but here you are."
I still didn't fully grasp what he was getting at. “What do you mean by that?"
"I'm saying that yes, I have been with women before, but I've never been drawn to one in particular, until you. I've never been in love. No one has even come close.” He kissed me again, but this time softly on my lips. “That's what I am saying.” His hands still cradled my face.
"Oh,” was all I could murmur. I was speechless, and I knew he had to be getting tired of my one syllable answers. I turned slightly away, unsure how to handle what he was throwing at me.
He turned my body to face his again, holding my hands firmly.
"I know I want you in my life, if that means friends only, then so be it. It's just, well I can't promise you anything else.” He released his grip and sank down on to the sand.
I knelt down beside him. “So no more waiting in the wings?” I was saddened by my own question, but relieved that he would move on. I did want him more than anything in the world, but I knew it was best to not get involved. My heart had a hard time just dealing with this, let alone have him leave at the end of the summer.
"No, no more waiting. I'm still a man, Abigail. You have to understand."
I cut him off. “I understand, perfectly."
I wanted to feel his lips against mine one last time, but I knew it would be wrong. I couldn't tell him that I wanted him, I wanted to yell it out to the world, but my heart
He turned me to face him.
"Abigail, you know how I feel about you, right?” His eyes were desperate.
"I think so.” I was caught off guard, and I didn't expect to hear him blurt that out so fast.
"Ya think so, lass?” he laughed under his breath, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Colin, I told you about Nick, I told you everything."
He held his fingers to my lips to quiet me.
"I thought I could do this, this friend thing, waiting in the wings. I'm not so sure of myself anymore. I don't think I can do this. I guess I thought your bloke would have shown his true colors by now."
I pulled away.
"I want you, Abigail, and only you. I can't even explain it to myself. I just know that I want you in my life.” He paused, as if trying to read my expression. “I know you think you have this great guy, but he's not right for you. It won't last, trust me. You'll just be another notch on his bed post."
"That's not true,” I snapped.
"Don't be so naive. He's just fooling with your head. He only wants one thing from you."
"How do you know?"
"I'm a guy, Abigail. Trust me. He's just trying to get you into bed."
"Well, is that all you want from me, too?"
"No, don't get me wrong. It would be grand, but I can wait."
I wanted to hold him, wrap myself around him as tightly as I could, tell him I wanted him as much as he wanted me. It was my head, not my heart warning me. I closed my eyes briefly before speaking.
"Really, and what do I mean to you? Considering you live halfway around the world, Colin. After the summer, then what? You want me to give you my heart just to take it back with you to Ireland. How fair is that?” I heard myself yelling, as I looked up at him with tears streaming down my face.
He took his hand and gently brushed them away. I turned my head, because I couldn't look at his face. I didn't know what he was thinking. He forced me to look back into his eyes. His expression was heart-rending, as he continued to stare.
"You're right. I can't ask that of you. I was wrong. I don't know what I was thinking. I don't want to hurt you like that. I guess I never really thought about it.” He grabbed my hand, and laced our fingers together. “I would never hurt you, Abigail.” He turned to me, gently kissing my forehead.
I was so confused. “We barely know each other, how can your feelings be so strong already?"
"Abby, I never wanted anyone as much as I want you. Sure, I've been with plenty of women. No one ever meant anything to me. I wasn't even sure if anyone ever would, but here you are."
I still didn't fully grasp what he was getting at. “What do you mean by that?"
"I'm saying that yes, I have been with women before, but I've never been drawn to one in particular, until you. I've never been in love. No one has even come close.” He kissed me again, but this time softly on my lips. “That's what I am saying.” His hands still cradled my face.
"Oh,” was all I could murmur. I was speechless, and I knew he had to be getting tired of my one syllable answers. I turned slightly away, unsure how to handle what he was throwing at me.
He turned my body to face his again, holding my hands firmly.
"I know I want you in my life, if that means friends only, then so be it. It's just, well I can't promise you anything else.” He released his grip and sank down on to the sand.
I knelt down beside him. “So no more waiting in the wings?” I was saddened by my own question, but relieved that he would move on. I did want him more than anything in the world, but I knew it was best to not get involved. My heart had a hard time just dealing with this, let alone have him leave at the end of the summer.
"No, no more waiting. I'm still a man, Abigail. You have to understand."
I cut him off. “I understand, perfectly."
I wanted to feel his lips against mine one last time, but I knew it would be wrong. I couldn't tell him that I wanted him, I wanted to yell it out to the world, but my heart
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