you."
"I will." I had to. The hurt in her eyes flashed in my mind over and over, and seeing it wouldn't rest from my mind.
When she showed Monday, she looked like a zombie. A cute one. But still a zombie. She had bags under her eyes, and her skin was paler than before.
Hell, maybe the distance was for the best.
I was still too fucked-up on Simone to start shit with a woman I didn't know. Even if she was one hell of a woman, who took care of my son with her whole heart.
Then again, when she walked in and offered me a nod with no eye contact, no greeting, fuck, not even a, "Mr Brooks," I knew the distance wasn't for the best. The interaction we'd had before, even when it was small, was a highlight of my day.
Why was my guilt about betraying Simone the one thing I couldn't let go of?
Because Simone was a good woman.
I paused at the thought. Was she? When she didn't tell me about our kid, when she took away my chance to be with her through everything. When she chose how she wanted everything. Even if she thought she was doing best for me, it was a selfish action. Because it meant she didn't have to see how crushed I was, she didn't have to be there for me .
Thinking about Simone that morning had me walking out the door without saying anything to Mena. I should have apologised. I should have told her the truth.
But I didn't.
I walked out thinking about myself once again.
Thinking of my feelings, my emotions, and my memories.
All day, it played on me.
All day, I was caught up in my head, which annoyed the fuck outta me because it made me feel disgusted in myself. I wasn't the only one with feelings, and I was sick to the stomach about what I said to Mena and how I acted towards her from day one.
She didn't deserve any of it.
When I got home, Koda was in the living room on the floor playing and watching TV. I heard Mena in the kitchen. With a quick hello to my son, I headed for the kitchen and stood in the doorway.
Her head was in the fridge, her arse up in the air.
My cock hardened.
Jesus. He certainly wasn't confused like my mind was.
When she stood and turned, she met my eyes for a second and then moved to the bench and said, while drying some dishes, "Your dinner's in the fridge. Koda's is also ready. I was about to give it to him. I didn't realise you would finish early."
My boss had sent me home an hour earlier because I'd been useless all goddamn day.
"Um, I've done your washing. If you would like to strip your bed tomorrow morning, I'll wash them, and if this weather stays, they should dry quickly." Because I'd asked her to stay outta my room, which was the one rule I'd given. I didn't want to scare her with all the cameras and shit I had going on in there. She took a breath and went on, "You being home, does this mean I can leave early? I'd like to go and do some things in town."
"I'll give you a lift. I noticed you didn't drive again," I offered in a softer voice. Her cheeks lit with fire. I wanted to know why, but then her chin tipped up and out, and she glared. I knew the colour on her cheeks was from frustration or anger, probably a bit of both.
She opened her mouth to say something, but Koda made his presence known by crawling around my legs and into the kitchen. Silently, we both watched him grab a chair and pull himself up. He decided to slap his hands on the seat. I smiled down at my boy. He wanted attention or food, and the way he ate these days, my guess was food.
Mena also knew this. "He wants his dinner probably, so I'll leave you to it and make my way home." She moved off, even though I hadn't said she could have the extra hour off. Couldn't blame her really. She was used to taking off as soon as I got home.
Because I was a cunt.
It was time I stopped.
"Mena—"
"Mr Brooks, please don't. It's better this way anyway—"
"No, it's fuckin' not. I hate hearing Mr Brooks come from your mouth, Mena, so you need to stop that shit and stop with the cold shoulder. I know what I
"I will." I had to. The hurt in her eyes flashed in my mind over and over, and seeing it wouldn't rest from my mind.
When she showed Monday, she looked like a zombie. A cute one. But still a zombie. She had bags under her eyes, and her skin was paler than before.
Hell, maybe the distance was for the best.
I was still too fucked-up on Simone to start shit with a woman I didn't know. Even if she was one hell of a woman, who took care of my son with her whole heart.
Then again, when she walked in and offered me a nod with no eye contact, no greeting, fuck, not even a, "Mr Brooks," I knew the distance wasn't for the best. The interaction we'd had before, even when it was small, was a highlight of my day.
Why was my guilt about betraying Simone the one thing I couldn't let go of?
Because Simone was a good woman.
I paused at the thought. Was she? When she didn't tell me about our kid, when she took away my chance to be with her through everything. When she chose how she wanted everything. Even if she thought she was doing best for me, it was a selfish action. Because it meant she didn't have to see how crushed I was, she didn't have to be there for me .
Thinking about Simone that morning had me walking out the door without saying anything to Mena. I should have apologised. I should have told her the truth.
But I didn't.
I walked out thinking about myself once again.
Thinking of my feelings, my emotions, and my memories.
All day, it played on me.
All day, I was caught up in my head, which annoyed the fuck outta me because it made me feel disgusted in myself. I wasn't the only one with feelings, and I was sick to the stomach about what I said to Mena and how I acted towards her from day one.
She didn't deserve any of it.
When I got home, Koda was in the living room on the floor playing and watching TV. I heard Mena in the kitchen. With a quick hello to my son, I headed for the kitchen and stood in the doorway.
Her head was in the fridge, her arse up in the air.
My cock hardened.
Jesus. He certainly wasn't confused like my mind was.
When she stood and turned, she met my eyes for a second and then moved to the bench and said, while drying some dishes, "Your dinner's in the fridge. Koda's is also ready. I was about to give it to him. I didn't realise you would finish early."
My boss had sent me home an hour earlier because I'd been useless all goddamn day.
"Um, I've done your washing. If you would like to strip your bed tomorrow morning, I'll wash them, and if this weather stays, they should dry quickly." Because I'd asked her to stay outta my room, which was the one rule I'd given. I didn't want to scare her with all the cameras and shit I had going on in there. She took a breath and went on, "You being home, does this mean I can leave early? I'd like to go and do some things in town."
"I'll give you a lift. I noticed you didn't drive again," I offered in a softer voice. Her cheeks lit with fire. I wanted to know why, but then her chin tipped up and out, and she glared. I knew the colour on her cheeks was from frustration or anger, probably a bit of both.
She opened her mouth to say something, but Koda made his presence known by crawling around my legs and into the kitchen. Silently, we both watched him grab a chair and pull himself up. He decided to slap his hands on the seat. I smiled down at my boy. He wanted attention or food, and the way he ate these days, my guess was food.
Mena also knew this. "He wants his dinner probably, so I'll leave you to it and make my way home." She moved off, even though I hadn't said she could have the extra hour off. Couldn't blame her really. She was used to taking off as soon as I got home.
Because I was a cunt.
It was time I stopped.
"Mena—"
"Mr Brooks, please don't. It's better this way anyway—"
"No, it's fuckin' not. I hate hearing Mr Brooks come from your mouth, Mena, so you need to stop that shit and stop with the cold shoulder. I know what I
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