Don Quixote, Which Was a Dream

Don Quixote, Which Was a Dream by Kathy Acker Page B

Book: Don Quixote, Which Was a Dream by Kathy Acker Read Free Book Online
Authors: Kathy Acker
Tags: Fiction, Literary, General
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they're forced to take their own freedom: they're forced to revolt against me. At that moment the play will begin. Lulu, sadly: That's a brilliant conception.
    Alwa: It's conceptually correct. This is Sartre's notion of freedom.
    Lulu, shaking: Will you hold my hand?
    Alwa, not holding her hand: Lulu, you're the one who's inspired me. I've learnt most of this from working with you, for your relations with men teach me what happens when a woman's pushed too far.
----
    Lulu, sadly: I don't understand what you want with me. Alwa: I can't afford to disrupt my emotional balance when I'm in the middle of a play. I have to give all my attention to the play. Look, Lulu: it isn't easy between us now because, since you're my father's wife, I would be destroying this familial stability if I felt anything for you. Lulu: I want a brother.
    Alwa:Wait until the play's over. (He french-kisses her goodbye. Lulu clings to him and kisses him. She wants to ask if he loves at all, but can't because such language isn't allowed. For reasons unknown to her he kisses harder and she embraces with all the need of her inability to talk or loneliness: her need for a brother.)
    4. LULU In Hell: Casting The Devils Out Of Hell
    for Elegguà, lonely spirit, friend to violent warring Ogun, causer of all automobile accidents, you my black lonely spirit, loneliness, Holy Guardian Angel who joins Yemayà from whose bursting stomach comes out the world. To cast out what is dead inside (which is outside) my mind. for the peace of the heart.
    Hell: The End Of Affection
    The scene continues from the end of Act III: Schon, entering his study, sees his wife kissing his son, but doesn't say anything. They don't see him.
    Lulu, drawing back from Alwa: I want to know if you're going to fuck me.
    Alwa: I told you: I can't afford to disrupt my life. You're married to my father.
    Lulu: Are you even sexually attracted to me? Alwa, lying: What man wouldn't be? You're the femme fatale. Lulu: Just put your arms around me. Hold me. (Not even caring what the reality is or what the effects will be as long as she gets hugged. Over his shoulder, as he's hugging her against his will, she sees Schon.) Daddy!
    Casting Out Devil One By The Lack Of Causality Lulu: Daddy. Why're you staring like that? What's wrong?
----
    Schon: I neither cry nor speak a word, nor will I, until a new sun looks down upon a cleaned-out world. Lulu: I'd feel better if you'd show your anger, if you'd take your anger out on me. If you'd punish me. If you'd touch me. How many times have you told me that I am only cause of you: by the grace of your tongue I have a name; by your money's power I am clothed. Justly punish me. Strip me! There's nothing in this existence I want. (The two men are watching her as if she's their stripper.)
    Schon: You're a stranger to everything decent; your flesh is corruption. I don't know why this very earth (his foot strikes either concrete or plastic) tolerates your presence on it.
    Always, Lulu, you have been a piece of shit. You were always unlike every other person. You did everything wrong. You are genetically wrong. Your very being is proof that you should die.
    Lulu, bending to floor: Kill me. Take away my life. This is the only way I can get affection. (The play director, disgusted by this scene, has turned away from Lulu.)
    (Schigold, who's been in a drunken stupor somewhere or other, is attracted enough by this scene to wake up enough to move toward them.)
    Schon: What do you want? (Schon takes out a gun and points it at Schigold. Schigold doesn't see it because he's staring at Lulu.)
    Schigold: Hey. You're cute. I want to fuck you. Schon, to Lulu: You see: you're a whore. You're a toilet men use, an empty hallway any men wander in and out of. You are nothing.
    Schigold: I'd like to fuck the shit out of you. I'd like to stick my thingy-dingy up your witchy-washy. I'll rub and dub you until you scream for help.
    Alwa: Why don't we all sit down and try to straighten this out.

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