Doctor Zhivago by Boris Leonidovich Pasternak Page B

state of confusion that a lecher requires in a woman. As a result, Lara felt herself sinking ever deeper into a nightmare of sensuality which filled her with horror whenever she awoke from it. Her nocturnal madness was as unaccountable as black magic. Here everything was topsy-turvy and flew in the face of logic; sharp pain manifested itself by peals of silvery laughter, resistance and refusal meant consent, and grateful kisses covered the hand of the tormentor.
    It seemed that there would be no end to it, but that spring, as she sat through a history lesson at the end of term, thinking of the summer when even school and homework would no longer keep her from Komarovsky, she came to a sudden decision that altered the course of her life.
    It was a hot morning and a storm was brewing. Through the open classroom windows came the distant droning of the town, as monotonous as a beehive, and the shrieks of children playing in the yard. The grassy smell of earth and young leaves made her head ache, like a Shrovetide surfeit of pancakes and vodka.
    The lesson was about Napoleon ' s Egyptian campaign. When the teacher came to the landing at Fr é jus, the sky blackened and was split by lightning and thunder, and clouds of dust and sand swept into the room together with the smell of rain. Two teacher ' s pets rushed out obligingly to call the handyman to shut the windows, and as they opened the door, the wind sent all the blotting paper flying off the desks.
    The windows were shut. A dirty city rain mingled with dust began to pour. Lara tore a page out of an exercise book, and wrote a note to her neighbor, Nadia Kologrivova:
    " Nadia, I ' ve got to live away from Mother. Help me to find a tutoring job, as well paid as possible. You know lots of rich people. "
    Nadia wrote back:
    " We are looking for a governess for Lipa. Why not come to us—it would be wonderful! You know how fond my parents are of you. "
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    Lara spent three years at the Kologrivovs ' as behind stone walls. No one bothered her, and even her mother and brother, from whom she had become estranged, kept out of her way.
    Lavrentii Mikhailovich Kologrivov was a big businessman, a brilliant and intelligent practitioner of the most modern methods. He hated the decaying order with a double hatred, as a man rich enough to outbid the treasury, and as a member of the lower classes who had risen to fabulous heights. In his house he sheltered revolutionaries sought by the police, and he paid the defense costs in political trials. It was a standing joke that he was so keen on subsidizing the revolution that he expropriated himself and organized strikes at his own plants. An excellent marksman and a passionate hunter, he went to the Serebriany woods and Losin Island in the winter of 1905, giving rifle training to workers ' militia.
    He was a remarkable man. His wife, Serafima Filippovna, was a worthy match. Lara admired and respected both of them, and the whole household loved her and treated her as a member of the family.
    For more than three years Lara led a life free from worries. Then one day her brother Rodia went to see her. Swaying affectedly on his long legs and drawling self-importantly, he told her that the cadets of his class had collected money for a farewell gift to the head of the Academy and entrusted it to him, asking him to choose and buy the gift. This money he had gambled away two days ago down to the last kopek. Having told his story, he flopped full length in an armchair and burst into tears.
    Lara sat frozen while Rodia went on through his sobs:
    " Last night I went to see Victor Ippolitovich. He refused to talk about it with me, but he said if you wished him to…He said that although you no longer loved any of us, your power over him was still so great…Lara darling…One word from you would be enough.… You realize what this means to me, what a disgrace it is…the honor of my uniform is at stake. Go to see him, that ' s not too much to ask, speak to