life was different than some of his school friends’ lives. I’d had to explain to him that not having a daddy didn’t make him wrong, like some kids told him. Kids could be real jerks.
“I don’t mind not having all the toys,” Trevor said, and I looked over my shoulder at him.
“No?”
“Nah. I like it when we play together.”
The arrow of guilt had lodged between my ribs and he was wiggling it from side to side, making the pain fan out.
“We can spend time together on Thursday when I have a day off,” I said to him.
“Can we go to Dianne’s then to watch a movie?”
“We can go to the cinema and watch a big one.”
He smiled and nodded.
“Yeah?” I asked.
“Yeah,” he said.
Dianne came out of the house when I pulled up at the curb and when Trevor peeled out of the car, she hugged him.
“I was waiting for you. We’re going to make cupcakes today,” she said. Trevor whooped and ran into the house without saying goodbye.
“Thanks for doing this,” I said, fishing for money in my purse, but Dianne put her hand on my arm. “You don’t have to thank me every day. It’s a pleasure to have him. And you can worry about the money after work.”
I smiled and watched Dianne walk into the house. She was middle-aged with a low dull-brown bun on her neck and her clothes hung off her body like she’d lost weight a while ago and never bothered with new clothes. She’d been our neighbor for years and Trevor had stayed with her since he was born.
I leaned against the car. This was what I didn’t tell Trevor: Sometimes at night I wished Marcus would just come back, even if it meant he had other girls, just so that I wouldn’t have to carry the load alone. Sometimes I wanted to follow Dianne and Trevor into the house and watch cartoons on the five-times-bigger-than-ours television with them just so I could escape my own life for a bit. Sometimes I wanted to stay home so that I could spend time with Trevor, and I could save the money I had to pay Dianne every day.
It was probably my money that had gone to that TV.
I’d read a sign once that had said Children spell love T-I-M-E. I wondered if Trevor did that too, if he knew I was doing all of this because I loved him, even if I didn’t have a lot of time to offer.
I looked at my wristwatch. I had half an hour left before my next client. I walked to my own front door and unlocked it, leaving the key in the door. I switched on the computer and checked my inbox.
My assignment feedback was in. I opened the document. Sixty-five percent for Ethics. It was a subject I hated, and I’d managed to pass it. Thank God. I had been studying business management for four years part time, taking one or two subjects a semester where I could fit them in. I’d taken my exams, and I’d passed them all so far. I was almost done.
With the degree, I could either manage an upmarket salon, or I could open my own. I dreamed of being an owner that sat on her backside, delegating, and everyone else had to work like a dog the way I did. That way I could spend every day with Trevor, and we wouldn’t have to worry about money. Yeah, my own salon sounded amazing.
Chapter 2 - Nadine
I walked back into the salon five minutes before my next client arrived. I had forgotten to eat, my sandwich in the fridge still untouched. Sonya chucked a meal-replacement shake at me.
“I know you didn’t eat again. Have it, I packed extra.”
I smiled and popped open the top, taking a sip. It tasted like cardboard and vanilla.
“Why do you drink this again?”
Hannah, my next client, walked in and cut the conversation short. I put the shake to the side and walked over to her.
“What do you want done?” I asked.
About ten minutes before my three o’clock, my phone rang. It was Dianne’s number. Trevor often phoned at work to speak to me.
This time it was Dianne. She sounded frantic, and I couldn’t make out what she was trying to tell me with the rush of words.
“Calm down,
“I don’t mind not having all the toys,” Trevor said, and I looked over my shoulder at him.
“No?”
“Nah. I like it when we play together.”
The arrow of guilt had lodged between my ribs and he was wiggling it from side to side, making the pain fan out.
“We can spend time together on Thursday when I have a day off,” I said to him.
“Can we go to Dianne’s then to watch a movie?”
“We can go to the cinema and watch a big one.”
He smiled and nodded.
“Yeah?” I asked.
“Yeah,” he said.
Dianne came out of the house when I pulled up at the curb and when Trevor peeled out of the car, she hugged him.
“I was waiting for you. We’re going to make cupcakes today,” she said. Trevor whooped and ran into the house without saying goodbye.
“Thanks for doing this,” I said, fishing for money in my purse, but Dianne put her hand on my arm. “You don’t have to thank me every day. It’s a pleasure to have him. And you can worry about the money after work.”
I smiled and watched Dianne walk into the house. She was middle-aged with a low dull-brown bun on her neck and her clothes hung off her body like she’d lost weight a while ago and never bothered with new clothes. She’d been our neighbor for years and Trevor had stayed with her since he was born.
I leaned against the car. This was what I didn’t tell Trevor: Sometimes at night I wished Marcus would just come back, even if it meant he had other girls, just so that I wouldn’t have to carry the load alone. Sometimes I wanted to follow Dianne and Trevor into the house and watch cartoons on the five-times-bigger-than-ours television with them just so I could escape my own life for a bit. Sometimes I wanted to stay home so that I could spend time with Trevor, and I could save the money I had to pay Dianne every day.
It was probably my money that had gone to that TV.
I’d read a sign once that had said Children spell love T-I-M-E. I wondered if Trevor did that too, if he knew I was doing all of this because I loved him, even if I didn’t have a lot of time to offer.
I looked at my wristwatch. I had half an hour left before my next client. I walked to my own front door and unlocked it, leaving the key in the door. I switched on the computer and checked my inbox.
My assignment feedback was in. I opened the document. Sixty-five percent for Ethics. It was a subject I hated, and I’d managed to pass it. Thank God. I had been studying business management for four years part time, taking one or two subjects a semester where I could fit them in. I’d taken my exams, and I’d passed them all so far. I was almost done.
With the degree, I could either manage an upmarket salon, or I could open my own. I dreamed of being an owner that sat on her backside, delegating, and everyone else had to work like a dog the way I did. That way I could spend every day with Trevor, and we wouldn’t have to worry about money. Yeah, my own salon sounded amazing.
Chapter 2 - Nadine
I walked back into the salon five minutes before my next client arrived. I had forgotten to eat, my sandwich in the fridge still untouched. Sonya chucked a meal-replacement shake at me.
“I know you didn’t eat again. Have it, I packed extra.”
I smiled and popped open the top, taking a sip. It tasted like cardboard and vanilla.
“Why do you drink this again?”
Hannah, my next client, walked in and cut the conversation short. I put the shake to the side and walked over to her.
“What do you want done?” I asked.
About ten minutes before my three o’clock, my phone rang. It was Dianne’s number. Trevor often phoned at work to speak to me.
This time it was Dianne. She sounded frantic, and I couldn’t make out what she was trying to tell me with the rush of words.
“Calm down,
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