Do You Want to Know a Secret?

Do You Want to Know a Secret? by Mary Jane Clark Page B

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Authors: Mary Jane Clark
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control what her son would do, she could only deal with whatever came.
    Standing behind the bishops, among a group of other priests dressed in simple white chasubles and matching tapestry stoles, Louise saw Father Alec Fisco, the earnest, young associate pastor of the cathedral. Father Alec had come to see her over the weekend. Louise had gone along with most of what he had suggested about the funeral plans. She just didn’t care much about the details. She was too stunned.
    She looked around and thought of the day she married Bill. They had been so young, the future so promising. They were going to have it all. And they did, for a while.
    Louise watched as the archbishop sprinkled holy water over the dove-gray casket. “I bless the body of William with the holy water that reminds us of his baptism.” The pallbearers then placed a white pall, with black and gold trim, over the casket.
    The procession began down the marbled main aisle of the cool, majestic place. First, the incense-swinging thurifer leading the way for the cross flanked by two white candles carried by college seminarians dressed in their white albs. Next, a deacon carried the Gospel book, then Father Alec, who would give the homily, followed by a large gaggle of concelebrating priests. The bishops from Brooklyn, Paterson, Metuchen, and Camden walked in pairs, followed by Archbishop Sweeney. Behind him were his crozier and miter bearers. Cardinal Gleason and the cardinal archbishop of Philadelphia, both in their red choir dress, came next. This was Sweeney’s cathedral, and he would be the celebrant of the funeral Mass.
    Bill’s draped casket, escorted by the six honorary pallbearers, five men and one woman who had been part of Bill Kendall’s life. Louise had at first been touched when Yelena called and asked if she could be a pallbearer. Louise didn’t really like herself thinking that Yelena probably got a charge out of being the only woman. Well, it was fine with Louise. Yelena certainly had the size to pull it off. Besides, Bill had liked her.
    Louise, William and Range walked together slowly down the long, white and green aisle, bringing up the rear. Louise spotted faces from KEY News . There was Eliza Blake. She made a mental note that she wanted to get hold of Eliza and ask if she’d consider pinch-hitting for Bill at the New Visions for Living fund-raiser. Louise almost smiled, amused that her brain was tending to details even at Bill’s funeral. Bill had always kidded her about being so organized.
    The three took their places in the carved white-oak front pew. Louise was aware of thousands of eyes upon her. She stood erect, fixing her eyes on the altar ahead. The clergy had taken their carefully orchestrated positions on the elevated sanctuary. The funeral ceremony started.
    Archbishop Sweeney began the opening prayer for one who died by suicide. “Almighty God and Father of all, you strengthen us by the mystery of the cross and with the sacrament of your Son’s resurrection. Have mercy on our brother, William. Forgive all his sins and grant him peace. May we who mourn this sudden death be comforted and consoled by your power and protection. We ask this through Christ our Lord.”
    Fifteen hundred voices answered, “Amen.”
    What would Bill, the former altar boy from a small town in Nebraska, have thought if he could see what was happening now? Louise stared at the marble angel with the open hands affixed to the altar rail in front of her, and wondered about the man who had come so far only to end like this.
    Why, Bill? Why?

Chapter 26
    What a sendoff this was! He wondered how many would turn out for his own funeral.
    Judge Dennis Quinn watched Bill Kendall’s casket glide down the main aisle of the cathedral. He stood among the weepy troop from New Visions for Living. Dennis, before everything had happened, had acted as treasurer of the organization, which raised money to buy group homes for the mentally retarded. He’d even played a

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