the hardest thing on earth.”
Chapter Seven
~Ashley~
THIS HAS BEEN the longest day of my life. Learning to surf is about a million times harder than I thought it was going to be, and I had a terrible time trying to concentrate on anything other than Delilah. Drake was patient as a saint, but every time he held on to my board to steady me, I wished he was Delilah. When he cheered me on, I wanted it to be her whowas proud of me. And I knew she would be. I kept looking up at the dunes, where she and I have been meeting in the early mornings, hoping she’d appear.
And then there is the war that’s been raging between my head and my heart. I promised myself I wouldn’t get involved with anyone who wasn’t out . I’ve been down this road. I know how painful it is, and yet here I am, doing it again.
Oh,Delilah, what am I going to do?
Luckily, the surf shop was superbusy today, so I didn’t have much downtime to brood or count down the hours until I’d see Delilah again. After work I stopped at the Harborside General Store to pick up a few things, like Delilah’s favorite crackers and hot chocolate.
I check the clock. She’s going to be here any minute. She had to work until ten, and it’salmost ten fifteen. She’s been to my apartment a million times, but tonight I’m extra nervous. I’ve already washed and changed my sheets, run the vacuum, showered, and put on the prettiest underwear and bra that I own under one of my regular tops and shorts, so I don’t look too eager. It’s been a long time since I cared about any of these things, and even though I know Delilah won’t care if my apartmentis messy or my underwear doesn’t match my bra, I can’t help the fluttering in my chest or the anticipation that’s been building since she first returned my text this morning and asked if she could see me tonight.
Can she? I couldn’t even believe it was a question.
Doesn’t she know she owns me?
From the moment I saw her, she’s been weaseling her way into my heart. She’s the only personwho could ever break through the walls I built around my heart after Sandy.
I turn on my iTunes playlist, which has been full of Delilah’s favorite bands since we first met: Paramore, 5 Seconds of Summer, Imagine Dragons, and a handful of others. My apartment is on the second floor and faces the ocean. It’s not very spacious, but I like having my own place, and the view of the ocean remindsme of Delilah’s house, which makes me feel closer to her. I dance around the room lighting candles, then dim the lights. My living room feels romantic with the candles flickering in the breeze coming through the balcony doors and music playing softly in the background.
A knock on the door sends my stomach into a whirlwind. Suddenly the room feels like I’m trying too hard. I run around blowingout the candles, waving my hands around, trying to get the scent of sulfur out of the room.
Crap. Why did I do that?
She knocks again, and I flick on the lights, feeling like an idiot. There’s no disguising the scent of extinguished candles.
I breathe deeply, once, twice, three times. I’m never nervous like this, and it makes me even more nervous because it’s such an unfamiliar feeling.
I reach for the doorknob, then hesitate, giving myself a get-your-head-on-straight talk.
I’m not going to kiss her first thing . This is all new to her. She needs time to adjust.
I’m going to be cool about it so I don’t scare her off .
No. Kissing .
Until she wants to.
One more deep breath and I open the door.
Delilah smiles.
She smiles.
I can’t get enough of Delilah’ssmiles, and it melts all my good intentions.
As she steps into the room, I slip my hand behind her neck—her neck, that’s another part of her that I can’t get enough of—and I press my lips to hers.
So much for keeping it cool .
Finally, after hours of feeling like I was holding my breath to get from one minute to the next, I can breathe. And she kisses me
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