killing me.” He whispered to me, closing his eyes and caressing his thumb against my cheek.
“And you’re killing me, Marcus.” I shook my head. That kiss was too much, too passionate. A kiss like that was meant for two people in love, not meant for two people getting to know each other. I stood, and his eyes squinted with confusion.
Turning from him, I walked further into the ocean, deep enough for the waves to splash my thighs. Crossing my arms, I stood there and watched the blue waves angrily dance in the distance.
Marcus was beside me instantly. He gently grabbed my hand and turned me to face him. “What’s wrong, Mia?” He asked with worried eyes.
It was hard for me to explain my feelings without it coming out the wrong way. Waving my hand in the space between us, I said, “I don’t know Marcus. I don’t know what this is, you know?”
He nodded. “Yeah, I don’t know what this is either, Mia.” He sighed. Leaning closer, he grabbed my face. “I’ve never felt this way for anyone, but you have to trust me when I say we’ll be fine.” He leaned in and kissed me. This time it was softer and warmer.
I wanted to trust him, but it was so hard when I’m always let down. Pulling away from his kiss again, I shook my head. “I don’t know if I can do that.” I turned and quickly made my way back to our towels without looking back. My feet sank into the sand with every step.
I reached our towels and grabbed my cover-up, pulling it over my head. When it was completely on, Marcus was already in front of me. His shoulders were hunched forward with his hands on his hips. He was looking down, shaking his head and trying to catch his breath.
I crossed my arms, waiting for him to say something, and after a moment he looked up. “Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why can’t you trust me?” I bit my lip, contemplating whether to just let it all out. Screw it. I’m the type of person that needs to say how I’m feeling. I can’t keep it bottled up inside even if it sounds wrong.
“I’ve only known you for what, four days? And I’m already telling you things I’ve never told anyone… and those kisses the first night and today: those were not ordinary kisses, Marcus!”
“I know.” He leaned in to me, but I brought my hand up to stop him.
“Let me finish. Then you can talk.” Placing his hands back on his hips, he gave a small nod. “Trusting people in general is hard for me. You have to understand I came from a life where it’s normal for the people you love and trust to just disappear. I don’t know what a mother’s love is, my father was taken away from me at a very young age, and the one person I had left, the one I ran to for every problem, every heartache, he was…” I fought to hold back my tears when speaking of Michael. I dropped down on the towel Indian style. I felt him beside me, not saying anything just listening. I continued without looking at him.
“When I was in college, I met a man who told me all the right things. I was young, gullible, and I believed everything he said. After a year in a relationship with him, I found him with his wife and six- month-old daughter in a nearby park. When he saw me, he pretended as if I didn’t exist. It took me a long time to get over it, but I did eventually.
“My senior year of BU , I met another guy. He was also smooth and knew how to manipulate me. Then I caught him in my dorm room with my roommate. After that I told myself I would never get attached, never allow myself to take another man seriously…and I haven’t. Yet here you are, another man with all the right things to say, and I’m slowly falling for every word. I just got to the point in my life where I accepted being alone not only in a relationship but alone . I have no family, my only friend is a guy I live with, and I'm okay with that.” I turned my head to face him, trying to show him in my expression that I was sincerely fine with it.
Biting his lip, he shook his head.
“And you’re killing me, Marcus.” I shook my head. That kiss was too much, too passionate. A kiss like that was meant for two people in love, not meant for two people getting to know each other. I stood, and his eyes squinted with confusion.
Turning from him, I walked further into the ocean, deep enough for the waves to splash my thighs. Crossing my arms, I stood there and watched the blue waves angrily dance in the distance.
Marcus was beside me instantly. He gently grabbed my hand and turned me to face him. “What’s wrong, Mia?” He asked with worried eyes.
It was hard for me to explain my feelings without it coming out the wrong way. Waving my hand in the space between us, I said, “I don’t know Marcus. I don’t know what this is, you know?”
He nodded. “Yeah, I don’t know what this is either, Mia.” He sighed. Leaning closer, he grabbed my face. “I’ve never felt this way for anyone, but you have to trust me when I say we’ll be fine.” He leaned in and kissed me. This time it was softer and warmer.
I wanted to trust him, but it was so hard when I’m always let down. Pulling away from his kiss again, I shook my head. “I don’t know if I can do that.” I turned and quickly made my way back to our towels without looking back. My feet sank into the sand with every step.
I reached our towels and grabbed my cover-up, pulling it over my head. When it was completely on, Marcus was already in front of me. His shoulders were hunched forward with his hands on his hips. He was looking down, shaking his head and trying to catch his breath.
I crossed my arms, waiting for him to say something, and after a moment he looked up. “Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why can’t you trust me?” I bit my lip, contemplating whether to just let it all out. Screw it. I’m the type of person that needs to say how I’m feeling. I can’t keep it bottled up inside even if it sounds wrong.
“I’ve only known you for what, four days? And I’m already telling you things I’ve never told anyone… and those kisses the first night and today: those were not ordinary kisses, Marcus!”
“I know.” He leaned in to me, but I brought my hand up to stop him.
“Let me finish. Then you can talk.” Placing his hands back on his hips, he gave a small nod. “Trusting people in general is hard for me. You have to understand I came from a life where it’s normal for the people you love and trust to just disappear. I don’t know what a mother’s love is, my father was taken away from me at a very young age, and the one person I had left, the one I ran to for every problem, every heartache, he was…” I fought to hold back my tears when speaking of Michael. I dropped down on the towel Indian style. I felt him beside me, not saying anything just listening. I continued without looking at him.
“When I was in college, I met a man who told me all the right things. I was young, gullible, and I believed everything he said. After a year in a relationship with him, I found him with his wife and six- month-old daughter in a nearby park. When he saw me, he pretended as if I didn’t exist. It took me a long time to get over it, but I did eventually.
“My senior year of BU , I met another guy. He was also smooth and knew how to manipulate me. Then I caught him in my dorm room with my roommate. After that I told myself I would never get attached, never allow myself to take another man seriously…and I haven’t. Yet here you are, another man with all the right things to say, and I’m slowly falling for every word. I just got to the point in my life where I accepted being alone not only in a relationship but alone . I have no family, my only friend is a guy I live with, and I'm okay with that.” I turned my head to face him, trying to show him in my expression that I was sincerely fine with it.
Biting his lip, he shook his head.
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