if you wanted me to hold one for you. Hell, I’m sorry. Naw it ain’t all right. You’re furnishing all the beer and I’m drinking it all up. Well shit. I’m new at this. What does she do? Sit on your bed? I mean I guess she does this for you, too, doesn’t she? Well. I figured she did.
“Is that okay? Hell I’m not queer or anything. I’m not gonna mess with your genitals. Where can I put this cap? I think there’s a pocket on this thing. Yeah. All right. You want a cigarette? Let me lean over here and get my lighter.
“Boy, that beer’s cold, ain’t it? I don’t mean boy like boy. Sure. I know you do. I just feel like an asshole for acting like I did. I hope I’ll get out of here tomorrow maybe. I don’t think they really want to operate on me. It’s too risky. God, I hate hospitals. I’ve spent so much time in them already.
“Here. How much? Hold it. Okay. You got a little on your chin there. Try to be a little neater. I’m just fucking with you. You don’t care, do you? You were a pretty big man before this happened, weren’t you? You’ve got a big chest. You ever lift any weights? You look like it. You must eat a lot. Just tell me when you want a drag off this cigarette. I’ll get me one in a minute. I’ll put some more beer in that cooler after while. We don’t want to run out of cold ones.
“What about artificial limbs? Tried them, huh? Hell, what about a wheelchair you could operate? You’ve already tried all that shit, huh?
“Man does anybody ever take you outside? Let you look around? Aw man it’s nice outside. The woods are full of green leaves. They were the other night.
“Aw shit, you don’t want to hear all that. I don’t even know what happened anyway. I guess I had a bad seizure or something and she had to call an ambulance. I guess that’s how I wound up here.
“Did you catch a buzz? I did too. I’m talking my ass off I know. Usually I don’t have anybody to talk to, though. Hell, I don’t want to go in there and talk to Mama while I’m drunk. I write her letters sometimes, though. That’s crazy as hell, ain’t it? I’ll write her a letter every once in a while and slide it under her door. And hell, she’ll answer it like that. I don’t know what I’m gonna do with her. Can’t stick her in a rest home, she’s not even sick. I wouldn’t stick my mama in a rest home anyway. Oh. Your mama was in a rest home? Well hell. You couldn’t take care of her, though. Your mama’s been dead a month? I’m sorry to hear that she passed away, man. Did you get to go? Well. That’s good that your sister takes care of you like that. You got any brothers? Five? Man. Y’all had a big family.
“I went to a funeral in a black church one time. I never will forget it. This old man lived on our place one time. His name was Hugh Jean. Shit, he used to cut my hair. Damn I ain’t thought about Hugh Jean in a while. A mule kicked him in the head and killed him. Hell, I bet I wasn’t but about twelve or thirteen. Daddy still had a couple of mules then. Hugh Jean raised him a garden with themevery year. We had one that was an old mule. I mean that son of a bitch was old. Had white hair on his face. He was blind in one eye. Called him Joe. Daddy killed him after he kicked Hugh Jean in the head.
“Holler when you get ready for another beer. Yeah, hell. Old Hugh Jean used to tell me, Now son, you listen to me. You can plow behind one of these old mules for twenty years and he’ll never try nothing. But the first time you bend over behind him and he knows it, hell kick your head off. And damned if that wasn’t what happened. This was after Daddy got out the first time. Hell, we never did know what happened exactly. It was one Saturday Hugh Jean was supposed to come up to the house and help Daddy plant some corn and he never did show up. He’d told Daddy he was going to break his garden up with old Joe and he’d be on up to the house quick as he got through. Well, hell, he
“Is that okay? Hell I’m not queer or anything. I’m not gonna mess with your genitals. Where can I put this cap? I think there’s a pocket on this thing. Yeah. All right. You want a cigarette? Let me lean over here and get my lighter.
“Boy, that beer’s cold, ain’t it? I don’t mean boy like boy. Sure. I know you do. I just feel like an asshole for acting like I did. I hope I’ll get out of here tomorrow maybe. I don’t think they really want to operate on me. It’s too risky. God, I hate hospitals. I’ve spent so much time in them already.
“Here. How much? Hold it. Okay. You got a little on your chin there. Try to be a little neater. I’m just fucking with you. You don’t care, do you? You were a pretty big man before this happened, weren’t you? You’ve got a big chest. You ever lift any weights? You look like it. You must eat a lot. Just tell me when you want a drag off this cigarette. I’ll get me one in a minute. I’ll put some more beer in that cooler after while. We don’t want to run out of cold ones.
“What about artificial limbs? Tried them, huh? Hell, what about a wheelchair you could operate? You’ve already tried all that shit, huh?
“Man does anybody ever take you outside? Let you look around? Aw man it’s nice outside. The woods are full of green leaves. They were the other night.
“Aw shit, you don’t want to hear all that. I don’t even know what happened anyway. I guess I had a bad seizure or something and she had to call an ambulance. I guess that’s how I wound up here.
“Did you catch a buzz? I did too. I’m talking my ass off I know. Usually I don’t have anybody to talk to, though. Hell, I don’t want to go in there and talk to Mama while I’m drunk. I write her letters sometimes, though. That’s crazy as hell, ain’t it? I’ll write her a letter every once in a while and slide it under her door. And hell, she’ll answer it like that. I don’t know what I’m gonna do with her. Can’t stick her in a rest home, she’s not even sick. I wouldn’t stick my mama in a rest home anyway. Oh. Your mama was in a rest home? Well hell. You couldn’t take care of her, though. Your mama’s been dead a month? I’m sorry to hear that she passed away, man. Did you get to go? Well. That’s good that your sister takes care of you like that. You got any brothers? Five? Man. Y’all had a big family.
“I went to a funeral in a black church one time. I never will forget it. This old man lived on our place one time. His name was Hugh Jean. Shit, he used to cut my hair. Damn I ain’t thought about Hugh Jean in a while. A mule kicked him in the head and killed him. Hell, I bet I wasn’t but about twelve or thirteen. Daddy still had a couple of mules then. Hugh Jean raised him a garden with themevery year. We had one that was an old mule. I mean that son of a bitch was old. Had white hair on his face. He was blind in one eye. Called him Joe. Daddy killed him after he kicked Hugh Jean in the head.
“Holler when you get ready for another beer. Yeah, hell. Old Hugh Jean used to tell me, Now son, you listen to me. You can plow behind one of these old mules for twenty years and he’ll never try nothing. But the first time you bend over behind him and he knows it, hell kick your head off. And damned if that wasn’t what happened. This was after Daddy got out the first time. Hell, we never did know what happened exactly. It was one Saturday Hugh Jean was supposed to come up to the house and help Daddy plant some corn and he never did show up. He’d told Daddy he was going to break his garden up with old Joe and he’d be on up to the house quick as he got through. Well, hell, he
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