Dirty Nails by Regina Bartley Page B

closet.
                  It was Max. His face red and streaks of tears down his face.
                  He gave me a once over, before he finally spoke.
                  “Shay,” his voice was shaky.
                  “Please,” I stepped back until my back was flush against the closet door. I couldn’t take another beating like that. I couldn’t. It would kill me. It would break me for good.
                  “Shay,” he dropped to his knees in front of me, and wrapped his arms around my legs and cried.
                  Never.
                  Never in fourteen years had I seen that man cry. He was a machine that had no heart, no feelings, and I wondered at times if he had a soul.
                  “I’m sorry Shay. I don’t ever want to hurt you. I’m so sorry.” He pleaded over and over. His arms were wound tight against my lower legs.
                  “Max.” I spoke, but it was just above a whisper. It was the first time I had tried to speak and it came out sounding rough and manly.
                  He looked up at me, his eyes filled to the rim. It literally broke my heart seeing him like that. It hurt inside my chest. It was too much for me to see.
                  I knelt down in front of him, so that I could hug him.
                  “I’m sorry,” he said over and over. “Something is wrong with me Shay. You know I wouldn’t do that to you. I wouldn’t. I was someone else when I hit you. Not a man Shay. Not your man. I can’t forgive myself. I’m horrible.”
                  “It’s okay.” I ran my fingers through his hair over and over.
                  “It’s not. I hurt you. Please forgive me. Please don’t ever leave me.”
                  Like I could.
                  “I have nowhere to go Max. This is my home.” I swallowed the thickness in my throat. It was my home. The only place I’d ever known. There was no way I could belong anywhere else.
                  “I want you by my side forever. You know that you were asleep for two days? I had a doctor come and take a look at you. He gave you some medicine injections to help, and he said you’d feel better. You wouldn’t wake up. I was so scared.” His eyes were honest in the moment. He looked scared and lost like a little boy. I felt an overwhelming urge to nurture him and reassure him at that very moment.
                  I pulled him closer to me. “Why did you do it Max? I thought you loved me.”
                  “I do love you Shay. I love you so much. It was like somebody else was inside my body that I couldn’t control.”               Sadly I knew exactly what he was saying. He’d been acting like this for a while now, but never this bad, and never to the point where I was scared for my life. It was like a switch that flipped inside of him. Don’t get me wrong. He’s always been crazy and controlling. But each and every time they sort of went hand and hand. Lately, it’s been weird, like he’s had two different personalities. He was hot, he was cold, and he was completely unhinged.
                  I mentioned it to him once, but he said he was fine and told me to keep my mouth shut.
                  Over time it kept getting more and more out of control.
                  This time he crossed the line.
                  “I’ve been stressed. I need to get away. Go away with me. Please,” his eyes lit up.
                  “What?”
                  The conversation sort of took a one eighty, like his mind.
                  “I know how it sounds, but I need to get out of here for a while. Clear my head. I need you, and only you. I promise I’ll be better. I will spend every minute making this whole