God is my witness, we shall see who has the last laugh.”
A pinecone popped in the campfire, startling me back to my senses.
Salisbury had finished his tale, or said as much as he was going to.
I was troubled by what he’d told us.
As delicately as possible, I said: “Salisbury—in all the years you’ve been out there hunting them—have you ever actually seen a skunk ape?”
Firelight blazed in his eyes, twin visions of hell.
“No,” he said. “And I’ll never rest till I do.”
And with that, Jameson T. Salisbury: Skunk Ape Hunter hauled himself to his feet, propped his elephant gun on his shoulder, said: “Now get some sleep, we’ve got a big day ahead of us,” and then he strode away into the night, the darkness embracing him like an old friend.
14.
I’m sure you can imagine how well I slept.
We were on a snipe hunt being led by a certified lunatic.
A dangerous one? I didn’t know. Nor did I care to wait around and find out.
Feigning sleep, I opened my eyes to slits and glanced around camp.
Salisbury was nowhere to be seen. But no doubt he’d be close—stalking the woods, patrolling the perimeter, checking his traps—there wasn’t much time.
Climbing soundlessly from my bedroll, I fetched Walt’s shotgun and bellied across camp to Lester and Eliza’s sleeping bag. I shook Lester’s shoulder until his eyes snapped open and he bolted upright in alarm. I clamped my hand over his mouth before he could scream. Raised a finger to my lips. He nodded warily.
I removed my hand and whispered, “We’re leaving.”
“Is it morning already?”
I shook my head. “We’re leaving now.”
He reached for an empty beer can. “Lemme take a leak …”
Eliza woke with a yawn and a cat-like stretch.
“But what about Mr. Salisbury?” she said, when I told her what was happening.
“Maybe you two haven’t noticed,” I said, “but the guy’s batshit crazy.” They just looked at me like I was the nut. I shook my head in exasperation. “There’s no time to explain right now. Just get your boots on, get dressed, and let’s get the hell out of—” That’s when the cold steel .700 barrels of the elephant gun prodded sharply against the back of my skull. I’d been feeling pretty take-charge up until then. I glared at Lester and Eliza. “Thanks for the heads-up.”
In their defense, Salisbury was wearing camouflage. His face was blackened with boot polish, and he was clad head to toe in a ghillie suit, festooned in leafy branches that made him look like a walking human shrub.
“Drop that peashooter in the dirt.” I dropped Walt’s shotgun to the ground and he kicked it across the clearing. “Now on your feet— Slowly! Keep your hands where I can see ‘em …” I did what he said, wondering how much he’d overheard and hoping he hadn’t taken my ‘batshit crazy’ comment to heart.
He thrust the elephant gun into my face, my nose swallowed up in the cavernous muzzle. My voice echoed as I said, “Take it easy, Salisbury. We were just heading back to town to fetch more men.” I glanced at Lester and Eliza. “Right, guys?”
Eliza said, “That’s the God’s honest truth, Mr. Salisbury.”
Lester said, “Huh?”
Salisbury said, “You must think I’m a damn fool, Levine.”
“Nope. Just a little nuts—”
“You’re not going anywhere …” Salisbury snarled. He whipped the gun barrels towards Lester and Eliza. “None of you are!” Before I could make a move for the gun, the barrels swung back towards me. “Not now that I’m so close …”
“Whoa!” Lester cried. He thrust his arms above his head. Piss sloshed from the beer can he was holding. “The fuck’s going on here, Jimmy?”
I said to Salisbury, “Tell them.”
“Tell us what?” Lester said.
“Bait …” I said. “He’s using us as bait.”
“Is it true, Mr. Salisbury?” Eliza said.
“Nothing personal, missy …” Salisbury said. “And you were safe within a ring of steel. But I warn
A pinecone popped in the campfire, startling me back to my senses.
Salisbury had finished his tale, or said as much as he was going to.
I was troubled by what he’d told us.
As delicately as possible, I said: “Salisbury—in all the years you’ve been out there hunting them—have you ever actually seen a skunk ape?”
Firelight blazed in his eyes, twin visions of hell.
“No,” he said. “And I’ll never rest till I do.”
And with that, Jameson T. Salisbury: Skunk Ape Hunter hauled himself to his feet, propped his elephant gun on his shoulder, said: “Now get some sleep, we’ve got a big day ahead of us,” and then he strode away into the night, the darkness embracing him like an old friend.
14.
I’m sure you can imagine how well I slept.
We were on a snipe hunt being led by a certified lunatic.
A dangerous one? I didn’t know. Nor did I care to wait around and find out.
Feigning sleep, I opened my eyes to slits and glanced around camp.
Salisbury was nowhere to be seen. But no doubt he’d be close—stalking the woods, patrolling the perimeter, checking his traps—there wasn’t much time.
Climbing soundlessly from my bedroll, I fetched Walt’s shotgun and bellied across camp to Lester and Eliza’s sleeping bag. I shook Lester’s shoulder until his eyes snapped open and he bolted upright in alarm. I clamped my hand over his mouth before he could scream. Raised a finger to my lips. He nodded warily.
I removed my hand and whispered, “We’re leaving.”
“Is it morning already?”
I shook my head. “We’re leaving now.”
He reached for an empty beer can. “Lemme take a leak …”
Eliza woke with a yawn and a cat-like stretch.
“But what about Mr. Salisbury?” she said, when I told her what was happening.
“Maybe you two haven’t noticed,” I said, “but the guy’s batshit crazy.” They just looked at me like I was the nut. I shook my head in exasperation. “There’s no time to explain right now. Just get your boots on, get dressed, and let’s get the hell out of—” That’s when the cold steel .700 barrels of the elephant gun prodded sharply against the back of my skull. I’d been feeling pretty take-charge up until then. I glared at Lester and Eliza. “Thanks for the heads-up.”
In their defense, Salisbury was wearing camouflage. His face was blackened with boot polish, and he was clad head to toe in a ghillie suit, festooned in leafy branches that made him look like a walking human shrub.
“Drop that peashooter in the dirt.” I dropped Walt’s shotgun to the ground and he kicked it across the clearing. “Now on your feet— Slowly! Keep your hands where I can see ‘em …” I did what he said, wondering how much he’d overheard and hoping he hadn’t taken my ‘batshit crazy’ comment to heart.
He thrust the elephant gun into my face, my nose swallowed up in the cavernous muzzle. My voice echoed as I said, “Take it easy, Salisbury. We were just heading back to town to fetch more men.” I glanced at Lester and Eliza. “Right, guys?”
Eliza said, “That’s the God’s honest truth, Mr. Salisbury.”
Lester said, “Huh?”
Salisbury said, “You must think I’m a damn fool, Levine.”
“Nope. Just a little nuts—”
“You’re not going anywhere …” Salisbury snarled. He whipped the gun barrels towards Lester and Eliza. “None of you are!” Before I could make a move for the gun, the barrels swung back towards me. “Not now that I’m so close …”
“Whoa!” Lester cried. He thrust his arms above his head. Piss sloshed from the beer can he was holding. “The fuck’s going on here, Jimmy?”
I said to Salisbury, “Tell them.”
“Tell us what?” Lester said.
“Bait …” I said. “He’s using us as bait.”
“Is it true, Mr. Salisbury?” Eliza said.
“Nothing personal, missy …” Salisbury said. “And you were safe within a ring of steel. But I warn
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