feelings of lack. We are worthy. We open our arms to receive.” Mist flew out of Alma’s hands and wrapped around Nahuel and me. She wasn’t a witch, but she had a natural gift for magic. I guess Kai was right. Shaman’s were their own kind of people.
Her mist wrapped around me and I began to think of Kai. I thought of what Alma said about removing insecurities and fear. Was I afraid Kai would hurt me? Why was I waiting to mate with him? Why had I said two months to get married? Why not sooner? I was scared. I could see that. In the tent, my emotions were so clear. They were laid out before me, raw and bleeding. I was a little girl with daddy issues and I was allowing myself to continue to be labeled a victim. When Kai had tried to get closer to me after Sadie’s wedding, I pushed him away. I buried our bond in my mind. I told him I had issues. But why? Why did I need to continue to play the role of abuse victim? I didn’t . I wouldn’t .
A growl ripped from my throat. Alma nodded as if she knew I had reached clarity on something.
Kai was my mate ! The one person in my life I could trust. What the hell was I waiting for? I could die at any time! I could have a heat stroke in the tent. I needed to fully live my life. I couldn’t control when I would die, but I could control when I chose to live. I needed to stop labeling myself a victim. I was strong. I was worthy. I deserved Kai.
The sound of the rain was deafening. It pattered on the tent in a steady drumming beat. I closed my eyes like Kai taught me to and went into my mind. I imagined the woods behind our house. I imagined the place where I had buried our mate bond. I saw the glowing ball just under the surface. I dug it up and nudged the ball out with my wolf snout, the ball hovered around me and then settled into my chest.
I opened my eyes, gasping. So much love. I felt so much love through our bond. I felt as if he was right with me. He was worried about me, but he wanted to be supportive. He was jealous of Nahuel. He was wondering why I wouldn’t mate with him yet, why I hesitated to set a date for our ceremony. He had kept his side of our mate bond wide open this whole time. He had just noticed me uncovering the mate bond. I felt excitement in his energy. We were too far to communicate, but I sent him love. I sent him good thoughts. Alma came to me then. I didn’t realize there were tears on my cheeks until she wiped them.
“There is a rightness in your soul now. Good girl.” She bent down to kiss my cheek and shuffled to walk around Nahuel, placing a tender hand on his head as she passed. She opened the flap and went out into the rain. Steam rose off her body. Nahuel clasped his hands together in prayer pose. “Thank you Great Spirit.” He got up and left as well.
I took a deep breath. I was drenched in sweat, my hair stuck to my back and face. I smelled. I was hungry and thirsty, but I had never felt so alive and so clear. I clasped my hands. “Thank you for your guidance, Great Spirit.” It seemed right. That there was some greater thing out there that I couldn’t explain, that I was a part of it.
I groaned as I got up into a standing position. As I walked outside, the cool rain hit my skin. Laughter began to bubble up inside of me. Alma began to laugh as well and spun around in a circle, dancing like a child. I followed her lead. I felt amazing. I was free.
Alma took me to behind a thick cluster of trees where there was another tented structure. Inside was a large wash basin and a composting toilet. Alma pointed to the toilet, which had a bucket of sod next to it.
“After you go to the
Her mist wrapped around me and I began to think of Kai. I thought of what Alma said about removing insecurities and fear. Was I afraid Kai would hurt me? Why was I waiting to mate with him? Why had I said two months to get married? Why not sooner? I was scared. I could see that. In the tent, my emotions were so clear. They were laid out before me, raw and bleeding. I was a little girl with daddy issues and I was allowing myself to continue to be labeled a victim. When Kai had tried to get closer to me after Sadie’s wedding, I pushed him away. I buried our bond in my mind. I told him I had issues. But why? Why did I need to continue to play the role of abuse victim? I didn’t . I wouldn’t .
A growl ripped from my throat. Alma nodded as if she knew I had reached clarity on something.
Kai was my mate ! The one person in my life I could trust. What the hell was I waiting for? I could die at any time! I could have a heat stroke in the tent. I needed to fully live my life. I couldn’t control when I would die, but I could control when I chose to live. I needed to stop labeling myself a victim. I was strong. I was worthy. I deserved Kai.
The sound of the rain was deafening. It pattered on the tent in a steady drumming beat. I closed my eyes like Kai taught me to and went into my mind. I imagined the woods behind our house. I imagined the place where I had buried our mate bond. I saw the glowing ball just under the surface. I dug it up and nudged the ball out with my wolf snout, the ball hovered around me and then settled into my chest.
I opened my eyes, gasping. So much love. I felt so much love through our bond. I felt as if he was right with me. He was worried about me, but he wanted to be supportive. He was jealous of Nahuel. He was wondering why I wouldn’t mate with him yet, why I hesitated to set a date for our ceremony. He had kept his side of our mate bond wide open this whole time. He had just noticed me uncovering the mate bond. I felt excitement in his energy. We were too far to communicate, but I sent him love. I sent him good thoughts. Alma came to me then. I didn’t realize there were tears on my cheeks until she wiped them.
“There is a rightness in your soul now. Good girl.” She bent down to kiss my cheek and shuffled to walk around Nahuel, placing a tender hand on his head as she passed. She opened the flap and went out into the rain. Steam rose off her body. Nahuel clasped his hands together in prayer pose. “Thank you Great Spirit.” He got up and left as well.
I took a deep breath. I was drenched in sweat, my hair stuck to my back and face. I smelled. I was hungry and thirsty, but I had never felt so alive and so clear. I clasped my hands. “Thank you for your guidance, Great Spirit.” It seemed right. That there was some greater thing out there that I couldn’t explain, that I was a part of it.
I groaned as I got up into a standing position. As I walked outside, the cool rain hit my skin. Laughter began to bubble up inside of me. Alma began to laugh as well and spun around in a circle, dancing like a child. I followed her lead. I felt amazing. I was free.
Alma took me to behind a thick cluster of trees where there was another tented structure. Inside was a large wash basin and a composting toilet. Alma pointed to the toilet, which had a bucket of sod next to it.
“After you go to the
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