you both coming home?"
He
sounded sincere, and considering she'd caught him off-guard, he might not even
be faking. "No, Dad. I'm sorry. But we hope to have him with us later
today."
He
released an audible breath. "Thank God. You don't know how much—"
After a pause, he went on in a less steady voice, "I've missed him. And I've
missed you."
She
closed her eyes, the doubt swelling in her chest until it took up so much room
her breaths became shallow. Time to ask her questions. "Why do you miss
us, Dad? I mean, after the way you treated us as kids, the humiliation, the
beatings, how can you suddenly make such a drastic change and expect us to
believe you?" Her voice had risen on the last few words, and Sam shook his
head, gesturing for her to calm down.
Her
father didn't answer, but his breathing sounded labored, and she heard him
swallow.
It
would be easier to get through this if she wasn't so darn tense. Tilting her
head from side to side to work out the stiffness in her neck, she jumped when
Sam placed two roughened hands on her shoulders and began kneading the muscles
there. It felt wonderful. As the knots loosened, so did her tongue, and she
began to relax.
"Look,
Dad. I called because I need your help. We need your help. I want to tape a message from you that I can play for Jake when
we find him."
"What
do you want me to say?"
"I
want you to be honest," she said gently. "He won't believe your
apology if it doesn't make sense. And that's why I—why we —need to understand what's
changed to make you care about us now."
"I've
always cared, Kelly," he said curtly.
She
gestured for Sam to switch on the recorder.
"I
was a proud man, and a stupid one," he went on, though he no longer
sounded edgy. "I'm sorry for that. I realize now that my methods of
discipline were more destructive than helpful, but I can't change what I did. I
can only say how sorry I am and that I regret how I treated you kids. Can you
forgive me?"
"I
don't know. It would help if I understood what happened to make you change."
Another
long pause before he said, "I'm afraid you won't believe me if I tell you."
Her
anger started rising again. "Should I guess? Okay, how about you've come
into an inheritance that won't kick in unless your kids live at home. No? All
right, then you won a trip to Disney World, but it's for families only. Can't
miss the Magic Kingdom when you don't have to pay for it, huh, Dad? Am I getting
warm?"
"Kelly,
I have cancer."
This
shut her up. She glanced up at Sam, who had stopped his massage the second she
started her tirade. His scowl was so deep it looked like a scar carved into his
forehead.
She
stared down at the phone, realizing her father had been right. She did find it
hard to believe. "You have cancer?"
"Prostate.
It's treatable, and my prognosis is good, but learning I have cancer forced me
to reevaluate my life. If I beat this thing, I'll have a second chance to
better myself and maybe even right the wrongs I've done. First on the list is
to fix things between myself and my kids."
Blinking,
she exhaled a labored breath. Her emotions waged a battle between anger and
sorrow. If his mortality hadn't been threatened, would her father have bothered
trying to make amends? "I'm sorry to hear this, Dad. I really am."
There
was a smile in his voice when he said, "Just hearing you say that gives me
hope. When you find Jake and convince him to come home, we can start over. Just
the three of us. We can be the kind of family we always should have been."
It
all sounded wonderful. She wanted to forgive him, but instant forgiveness wasn't
possible. Too much damage had been done. He'd inflicted too many injuries,
physical and emotional, for her to easily forgive and forget. But with time,
she felt confident they could work things out and move toward a more amiable
relationship, if not a loving one.
Now
for the biggy. "Do you love Jake?" And do you love me?
"I
love Jake with all my puckered old heart," her father said
He
sounded sincere, and considering she'd caught him off-guard, he might not even
be faking. "No, Dad. I'm sorry. But we hope to have him with us later
today."
He
released an audible breath. "Thank God. You don't know how much—"
After a pause, he went on in a less steady voice, "I've missed him. And I've
missed you."
She
closed her eyes, the doubt swelling in her chest until it took up so much room
her breaths became shallow. Time to ask her questions. "Why do you miss
us, Dad? I mean, after the way you treated us as kids, the humiliation, the
beatings, how can you suddenly make such a drastic change and expect us to
believe you?" Her voice had risen on the last few words, and Sam shook his
head, gesturing for her to calm down.
Her
father didn't answer, but his breathing sounded labored, and she heard him
swallow.
It
would be easier to get through this if she wasn't so darn tense. Tilting her
head from side to side to work out the stiffness in her neck, she jumped when
Sam placed two roughened hands on her shoulders and began kneading the muscles
there. It felt wonderful. As the knots loosened, so did her tongue, and she
began to relax.
"Look,
Dad. I called because I need your help. We need your help. I want to tape a message from you that I can play for Jake when
we find him."
"What
do you want me to say?"
"I
want you to be honest," she said gently. "He won't believe your
apology if it doesn't make sense. And that's why I—why we —need to understand what's
changed to make you care about us now."
"I've
always cared, Kelly," he said curtly.
She
gestured for Sam to switch on the recorder.
"I
was a proud man, and a stupid one," he went on, though he no longer
sounded edgy. "I'm sorry for that. I realize now that my methods of
discipline were more destructive than helpful, but I can't change what I did. I
can only say how sorry I am and that I regret how I treated you kids. Can you
forgive me?"
"I
don't know. It would help if I understood what happened to make you change."
Another
long pause before he said, "I'm afraid you won't believe me if I tell you."
Her
anger started rising again. "Should I guess? Okay, how about you've come
into an inheritance that won't kick in unless your kids live at home. No? All
right, then you won a trip to Disney World, but it's for families only. Can't
miss the Magic Kingdom when you don't have to pay for it, huh, Dad? Am I getting
warm?"
"Kelly,
I have cancer."
This
shut her up. She glanced up at Sam, who had stopped his massage the second she
started her tirade. His scowl was so deep it looked like a scar carved into his
forehead.
She
stared down at the phone, realizing her father had been right. She did find it
hard to believe. "You have cancer?"
"Prostate.
It's treatable, and my prognosis is good, but learning I have cancer forced me
to reevaluate my life. If I beat this thing, I'll have a second chance to
better myself and maybe even right the wrongs I've done. First on the list is
to fix things between myself and my kids."
Blinking,
she exhaled a labored breath. Her emotions waged a battle between anger and
sorrow. If his mortality hadn't been threatened, would her father have bothered
trying to make amends? "I'm sorry to hear this, Dad. I really am."
There
was a smile in his voice when he said, "Just hearing you say that gives me
hope. When you find Jake and convince him to come home, we can start over. Just
the three of us. We can be the kind of family we always should have been."
It
all sounded wonderful. She wanted to forgive him, but instant forgiveness wasn't
possible. Too much damage had been done. He'd inflicted too many injuries,
physical and emotional, for her to easily forgive and forget. But with time,
she felt confident they could work things out and move toward a more amiable
relationship, if not a loving one.
Now
for the biggy. "Do you love Jake?" And do you love me?
"I
love Jake with all my puckered old heart," her father said
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